After a visit this week to my surgeon’s office to have nipples tattooed on my reconstructed chest, I decided to cull through my humiliation and decide which moments held the most comic potential. 2017 challenged my faith, my fortitude and my family. But what was true for Job in the Bible proved true for me. “He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” (8:21 NLT) With Jesus, and a God-given sense of humor I have overcome so much. So I present the top 8 most embarrassing things about having breast cancer:
1. I can no longer say I’ve never posed topless. And the paper thong I had to sport for the before pics lacked any kind of sex appeal.
2. The girls (both old and new) have been manhandled by more people than I ever thought possible. Does this jeopardize my status as a “good girl”?
3. The above pictured breast cancer awareness Snuggie. Just because…
4. Everyone who knows me knows they are fake.
5. The maintenance drug I have infused every 3 weeks gives me very impolite and inconvenient intestinal issues.
6. Having my nipples tattooed was a whole lot of topless – including what I can only describe as topless calisthenics (bending, stretching, squeezing) so the artist could see “how my breasts moved” before ink. It was all very normal.
7. Discussing aureola size and color with said tattoo artist flustered me. (Having the tattoos now is empowering, though. They are 3D and magnificent.)
8. Accidentally laying my bust on someone’s arm because I have no nerve endings in them and therefore have diminished frame of reference for their place in time and space – is now a thing. Although, I did feel heat in one tiny spot on one boob during the ink sesh. Maybe that means I have a remaining receptor. Which gives whole new meaning to the phrase, “You’re on my last nerve.”
Well, I intended to give you a top ten list, but I can only think of 8. And you know what? I’m cancer free. So bring on the awkward! It’s all worth it.
I want to encourage you all to visit Kelly Balarie at PurposefulFaith.com for more encouragement. You can also take part in her “Four Days to Fearless Challenge” by clicking here. I heard about Kelly on The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey Podcast and her blog has quickly become one of my favorites.
Lauren, thank you for this! I cannot relate to your struggle with cancer, and I can only imagine all that one has to endure as they walk through it. I am thankful that with time, you were able to laugh about some of it. Laughter is the best medicine after all!
I’m so very glad that you are cancer FREE!! Praise Jesus!!
And thank you for the recommendation of Jamie Ivey. I’m gonna go check her out!
Ps: I am featuring YOU at our very first spotlight writer linkup! Hooray!
See you there on Thursday! 😉
Thank you so much Rachel!!! I am truly honored.
Hi Lauren, Thank you so much for sharing your story and humor today. What a blessing it is. As my mom went through her cancer battle we tried to maintain a good sense of humor and find the funny in every day things. #5 on your list really took me back to sitting in the chemo room. Doctors just don’t tell you the kind of things chemo will do to your body. But you have to laugh about it and go on. I’m so glad to hear that you are now cancer free. Saying a prayer for you and may God bless you!
Thank you, Connie, for the prayer and encouragement. There is definitely a whole different kind of club when you or someone you love deeply has gone through cancer. Thank you for visiting.
Lauren, your bravery and your God-given sense of humor are truly inspiring! I can see why this is a favorite!
I don’t know about me being brave, but I do know our God is good! Thanks, Laurie. That was a great idea for your post.