You might already know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Regardless of your knowledge of or experience with the subject, news reports have been telling us for months that the pandemic has done a number on us. In the last year and a half, my family has been shaken down in ways I can’t describe by mental illness. We represent several different diagnosis on different branches of our tree that range in severity and scope. Because my story is the only one that belongs to me, I want to share that one here.
I have, at times, struggled with depression and am currently plagued by anxiety. The main struggle that has consumed me since childhood? Subclinical eating disorders. I battle compulsive overeating, and at one time, used exercise anorexia to cope. These issues stem from the need I feel to avoid pain or negative feelings. On the advise of a doctor, medication and professional counseling have been a valuable part of my journey.
I recently came across a writing challenge from fellow blogger Ang called, A Thank You Letter to My Body. Her instructions: “Write a thank you note to your body. Be as open and honest as you want to be. Include at least 3 things your body does that you appreciate.” I knew right away that I needed to write this letter at this time. I write for my mental health in hopes that it inspires you to examine any issues you may be experiencing. .
To My Body,
I know you think I’m mad at you. I mistreat you and say horrible things to you. For that, and so many other things, I’m sorry. I admit that the insults and criticism I hurl at you, I really mean. But that’s wrong. It’s time for a change of heart. It’s time I show you the respect you deserve.
Your build – strong and athletic – allows me to continue teaching yoga. I love that job. I sometimes overworked and expected too much of you. My injuries prove that. But you keep on going. You fought cancer for me. Over four years ago, you kicked it to the curb. How can I thank you for allowing me to continue raising my children? You care for my family well. These strong legs stand for long periods of time while I iron clothes, shop for groceries and cook dinner. Your strong arms lift grandkids, push the lawn mower and care for my Shelby. For these things and so many others, I thank you.
You do so much for me that I’m not even aware of. I wish I had been kinder to you. I’ve fed you junk and ignored your needs too often. And the yo-yo dieting tortured and confused you. Please forgive me for treating you like an enemy instead of the friend that you are. My displaced anger is unwarranted and unfair.
God says you are wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). A gift from Him. It’s time I started acting like it.
I love you,
Me
Thank you for allowing me to share this cathartic exercise with you. I accepted this challenge, and now I want to offer one. Examine your heart and mind. If you are struggling to cope, talk to your doctor or another trusted individual who can point you to the appropriate resources. And if you’ve already taken these steps, share your journey when you feel it is safe and appropriate. You could destigmatize mental illness and help someone else. But if you fear that you or someone you know might hurt themselves or someone else, call 911 immediately.
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I loved Maryleigh Bucher’s Muddy Chess Bars, Not Giving Up. But don’t just read this post. Spend a little time on her site. She mixes faith-building prose, beautiful poetry and scrumptious looking recipes to speak to all kinds of appetites. Thank you, Maryleigh!
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Lauren, hi! Many of us are going to resonate with some part of your story. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty …
Thanks for saying that, Linda. I hope others will feel less alone in their struggles when we share ours.
I can indeed identify with your story. I have a poem I would love to share about things that kept me silent. It stems from abuse, rejection and mental illness. Would I be able to share? God bless you.
I would love for you to send it to me. [email protected]
Lauren, you’re letter is beautifully written! I’m glad to hear you beat cancer. Thank you for being a part of my writing challenge 🙂
It was really cathartic for me, Ang. Thank you so much for the inspiration.
Lauren, I appreciate you sharing your Journey. I like the challenge you participated in, The letter you wrote to your body is powerful. SO beautifully spoken. Blessings.
~Selah~
Thank you, Paula. Accepting myself as God made me has been a life long journey.
Lauren, this is so beautiful and raw and real. What a brilliant exercise to start the journey to loving your body. I have been trying to focus on all the miraculous things that my body has done for me over the years including growing and birthing small humans. I still cannot figure out how any of us can hate our bodies when they do these marvelous things! But I still struggle with loving my body, too. But taking these small steps is better than sitting in the self-hatred forever. The best thing for me is to stay focused on gratitude. Thanks so much for being vulnerable with us. This is the very place where growth begins.
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Thank you, friend. And I think gratitude is a great place to start! Brava!
That’s very moving, Lauren. I am going to do it every day, just as in finding 3 things to be grateful for – I shall do it about my body. Thanks so much for this. Interesting how we yoga teachers (I am one too) also have our “things” to deal with. This week I stopped being hungry for the wrong foods – why? A family member read my blog post about bullying and was concerned whether I was okay or not. Just that loving reaching out from her, was the catalyst that turned my stomach, head and heart around.
That sounds like a great practice! Thanks for chiming in.
Lauren,
I love your vulnerability and honest. What a great exercise to do for our mental health. All too often I don’t treat or appreciate my body well. Blessings, Maree
Thank you for your kind words, Maree.
Thank you for sharing your letter to your body and for issuing the thought-provoking challenge. I am glad you can sign the letter to your body with love. Your post made me think of this quote from Roxanne Gay: “This body is resilient. It can endure all kinds of things. My body offers me the power of presence. My body is powerful.”
Great quote, Laurie. Thank you for weighing in!
Hi Lauren,
Your letter made me long to cry. Many in my family–myself included–have struggled or do struggle with mental health. Thank you for sharing your letter to your body. It touched my heart.
Peace and grace to you,
Tammy
I’m so grateful that it was meaningful for you. Taking a moment to pray for your family right now, Tammy.
What a great reminder to treat ourselves as we would a friend in a loving and respectful way.
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
Treat ourselves as we would a friend – a great way to put it, Rena.
Thanks for this peak into mental health awareness. I write for the invisibly disabled (I am one), of which mental health is a part of. But I don’t know much about it, and I think I have ignored it. I plan to rectify that soon. Thanks for this encouragement.
I’m so glad it’s inspired you. And I”m so thankful that people are taking the shame out of mental health care.