Lauren Sparks

The Sparks Notes

Your 2020 Holiday Gathering Doesn’t Have to Be a Whoopin’ (That’s Texan for Drag)

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Raise your hand if you used Zoom for a family or friend gathering this year.  Yeah, me too.  I’m super thankful for this technology in 2020 – I’m even teaching yoga classes this way.  But after the initial excitement of “being together” and catching up a bit comes the awkward silence.  Please tell me it’s not just MY family that searches for something else to say.  We miss each other and don’t want to “end session” yet, but what else can we talk about?

 

Maybe due to safety concerns and travel restrictions you are staring down a Christmas “celebration” with the same few people you holed up with for months.   You haven’t gone anywhere or done anything significant, so you wonder what you can talk about!  How can you keep from vegging out in front of the TV (although Christmas movies are a delight ) and staring at your phones for the entirety of the break?  I found exactly what will make 2020 gatherings, whether live or online, more fun and more meaningful.

 

I asked my fellow blogger and author Sue Donaldson where she got the idea to write conversation starters.  Here is her response:

I created them because I’ve found that when we meet together it can be a waste of time if we don’t get to really know each other. It began when I invited believers and non-believers together at the same table. I ask a general question, and follow with a little bit deeper one.  Then we go around the room, each person answering the questions. We end up connecting–laughing or crying or both– as we find commonalities in our stories. We become more empathic as we hear how someone has struggled or is in the midst of struggle. Asking the right question brings understanding which leads to compassion. 

When my husband and I first married, we invited two of Mark’s colleagues and their wives for dinner. I was the insecure, younger Dr’s wife. But I asked the men to answer: “Why did you choose medicine?” and the women, “Why did you say ‘yes’ to your husband’s proposal?”.  The evening went swimmingly. Nowadays, I pray in advance of my event and ask God for the right questions for the particular group. One such evening was so incredibly meaningful as the women answered the two questions: “What did you want to be when you were little when you grew up?” (gales of laughter) and “Who are you becoming right now?” (some tears, tons of compassion – as two were divorcing and didn’t’ know who they were anymore).  This was, again, a mixed group with women on both sides of the Gospel. One such gal said afterwards, “This was so good” (I had just met her at the gym) and I replied, “I’ve found that women are lonely.” And she said, “I’m lonely.”   We now walk every week together. God uses such times as friendships are built, and community deepened. 
This Thanksgiving, we did it a little differently.  My brother Steve has my Convo starters (the digital one – which is nice because it’s easy to make copies of the pages and cut into strips)- he copied three questions and stapled them together and passed them around to their guests. They had a choice to answer just one of three. I decided to try it out and had my middle daughter pick two questions on strips of paper and staple them together and each guest pick a “set” to answer.    We went around the circle between turkey and pie and heard some great stories and got to know one another better. We are still talking about what we heard! Convo starters empower the shy person and they keep the talkative person on track!
The purpose of community is to grow our faith, as well as introduce God to the unbeliever. Convo starters enable both.

 

Conversation starters aren’t a new thing, but this one feels fresh.  The author mixes fun topics with questions that encourage storytelling and sharing.  Whether you order Say Something Special (available in digital form if you need it sooner than Amazon can deliver) or come up with your own, don’t just “hope” for a fun and meaningful celebration.  Plan for it!

 

And now for this week’s featured post.

 

I love Sarah Geringer’s Advent series.  This week she linked An Advent Mindset:  How Zechariah’s Shift in Thinking Will Inspire You, but I recommend you go back and read last week’s too and subscribe to Sarah’s blog to make sure you get the rest!

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A Muster of a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Month…and Grace and Truth Link Up

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How do I even begin to wrap up a month as wild as this one.  We are living in an unprecedented global situation so I can’t pretend that everything is normal.  COVID-19 is changing our world as we know it with consequences ranging from inconvenient to catastrophic – depending on many variables.  What I can do is tell you what we managed to do before the world (almost) stopped turning and what we are doing now to cope.  Know that I am praying for you and I am here if you need to vent or have prayer requests or just need to communicate with someone other than your kids!  Pop over to my contact tab and send me an e-mail or comment on this blog post.  Or click on my social media buttons on the right hand side of this page.  To quote from the modern day classic High School Musical, “We’re all in this together.”

 

We started the month with some presidential primaries.  Maybe that should have been an ominous foreshadowing of things to come.  I picked up an extra work shift helping at a memorial service.  That was an interesting first, but now that I can’t work at all because I’m in the fitness/ service industry, I’m thankful for those few extra hours.

 

I praised God for one friend and one family member who received favorable medical news this month and thanked Him for the opportunity to have lunch with both sisters and two childhood friends – all together.  So fun.  We were in church youth group together just a couple of years ago.  Such great memories.  And then a couple of days later, my favorite hairdresser/friend (ok she’s the only one who fits both of those descriptions for me) treated me to the best chinese restaurant.  Yum!

 

My 15 year old daughter spent the genesis of her spring break in Austin helping out our church plant there.  Then I took her to get her first hair highlights (done by the same fabulous hairdresser/ friend).   My oldest, Shelby, enjoyed Camp Summit during her time off of school (little did we know there was much more time off to come).  This camp for special needs kids and adults provides fun, healthy activities for her and much needed respite from caregiving for my husband and myself.

 

The second half of spring break, we headed to the St. Louis area to see our son and his kids.  Being with them is always a whirlwind of activity including a trip to Meramec Caverns, ice cream treats, playing outside and a disgusting round of Beanboozled!  I really enjoyed getting to see our son and put my arms around him during a difficult time.

 

Then the times got more difficult.  With the announcements that the kids would be out of school for two weeks (at least) and my son needing to work as a doctor, we made the last minute decision to bring the two oldest kidlets back to Texas with us.  So this very non-kid person has been entertaining without the benefit of movie theaters, bowling alleys, libraries or any other public attractions.  I know many of you can relate right now.  So we have done online art classes, music lessons, cookie baking, game playing and lots of park time when the weather permitted.  Thanks to some amazing neighbors we even acquired a bike and a scooter for them to use.

 

Tucked in around the edges of grandparenting, we watched Dolly Parton’s Heart Strings.  I loved most of the stories but wouldn’t recommend all.  We checked out Stargirl on Disney+ with our teen.  A sweet teen-centric drama.  She also talked us into The Perfect Date with Noah Centineo.  The hubs and I caught Murder Mystery, Always Be My Maybe and Brad Paisley’s Comedy Rodeo.  We also watched the first episode of the Netflix series Murderous Affairs (Don’t judge.  I unfortunately knew the subjects.), and a couple episodes of The Movies that Made Us and The Toys that Made Us.   My sister and I caught Emma at the movie theater and I finished two books – Out of a Far Country:  A Gay Son’s Journey to God, a Broken Mother’s Search for Hope by Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan, and Wally Funk’s Race for Space:  The Extraordinary Story of a Female Aviation Pioneer by Sue Nelson (mentioned in last week’s post).

 

To wrap up, reader friends, the days ahead will not be easy.  Just know that it’s ok to have lows – to feel sad or frustrated or even a little anxious.  But lean into our Heavenly Father.  None of this surprises Him and He is our ultimate source of comfort and purpose.  And I consider it an honor to pray for you.  If you need to vent or have specific needs, please reach out to me.  And tell me, too, if you have been given the gift of extra time (I realize this does not apply to everyone), what are you doing with it?

 

 

And now for this week’s featured post!

 

I love the honesty and realism that Linda Stoll expresses in This One’s for Anyone Who’s Not Feeling Especially Strong and Courageous Right Now.  The truth is that you can hold both anxiety and faith in God at the same time.  So often we pressure ourselves that it has to be one or the other, but this post shows what it is to be human – and have faith.  Visit Linda at lindastoll.net and thank her for linking up.

 

Now for this week’s link-up! Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord.

 

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