I subscribe to one of those “word of the day” email services. It’s cheesy, I know, but as a writer I hope to continue growing my vocabulary. At least I intend to. I have a custom folder on my app that I tuck these emails in every day. I keep thinking I will search through it and study these words, but I have yet to give them a second look. One word this week caught my attention and captured my imagination: whetstone – 1. a stone used for sharpening edged tools, knives, etc. 2. something that sharpens. (thefreedictionary.com)
This word immediately brought Proverbs 27:17 to mind. As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. NLT
Community hasn’t always been easy for me. I tend to romanticize ideas about friendship. My very best friend lived with me in college. We not only resided together, we worked together, went to church together and played together. She was the peanut butter to my jelly. In my imagination, our families could share a compound today and get along famously. But alas, she lives 672 miles away.
More than a few years ago, when little children kept me occupied in mind and body, I let our friendship fall by the wayside. I didn’t see how we could stay close across those miles. But I thought I HAD to have a best friend. So I set out to replace her. But I soon learned that forging bonds like that as an adult presents lots of challenges. Young moms lack the kind of time one must spend with another to know each other from natural hair color to past dating disasters and around to deep, dark secrets.
I tried, though. Dearest, did I try. I got myself into unhealthy relationships because someone would call me “best friend”. When friends dared to have other friends, I threw myself a jealous pity party! I was one step away from an attachment disorder. Most certainly, I was a disaster. My unrealistic expectations lead me to some lonely times. I’m not certain what snapped me out of this friendship funk. Maybe God performed a miraculous healing, or maybe I just grew older and wiser (hence why I can’t remember).
Thankfully, I woke up to the different ways a friendship can look. I reconnected with my bff across the miles. Mobile phones calls, Facetime and texting – although never enough to suit me – now keep us as close are those two college kids in my memories. And the couple of times a year we do get to see each other in person, well, it feels like going home.
God helped me to also embrace the idea of having multiple friends of varying levels of intimacy. I have a fun neighborhood friend who likes to play games and double date with our husbands. She sits next to me at church every Sunday. She also made a guest appearance on the blog a couple of weeks ago after I spit on her (mortifying and hilarious story here). I connected with another lady who challenges me to constantly consider what I believe and why. We read books together and entertain deep discussions and we laugh.
I met a friend in chemo who has absolutely nothing in common with me except a love for the Lord and our history of breast cancer. She now sits on my other side at church every week. I bonded with someone else over hard, hard things. She’s a counselor and gives the great advice when I need it. My hairdresser is a fantastic listener. So I started confiding in her and she confided me in. Now I get sacred friend time and a fantastic cut and color in the same hour. I also have my very first friends. My sisters and my mom.
You get the picture, right? Community is vital. Each and every person adds something different and important to my life. And prayerfully, hopefully, I serve them as well. They bring me immeasurable joy. I wholeheartedly believe that God uses these ladies (many who have never met) to make me sharper, funnier, better read and more thoughtful. Most importantly, they make me more like Him.
I would love it if you would share in the comments what friendship brings to your life.
And now for this week’s featured post!
I am just getting to know Wemi Omotosho as a writer, but I am so enjoying her voice in the blogosphere! Her strong encouragement in Loud was just the shot in the arm I needed this week. Visit her blog Reflections in the Mess: Connecting with God Through a Messy Life to learn, to absorb art and to be inspired. Thank you, Wemi, for linking up with us and grab a badge below for your website!
1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.
2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.
3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).
We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.
MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
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HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
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LAUREN SPARKS
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LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
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I think it’s possible that my high school single handedly kept white shoe polish on store shelves in Waco, Texas in the early 90’s. How often the windows of our cars were covered in messages and crudely drawn pics was directly correlated to our level of popularity. One Friday afternoon I got in on the fun by decorating the trucks of the boy I was “dating” (the quotes denote loosely used terminology) and his best friend. The next day I parked my car in the high school parking lot and rode a yellow dog to a track meet. Upon returning to the school late that night, I saw what appeared to be mud all over my car. As I climbed off the bus with my friends, one of them said, “I don’t think that’s mud.”