I feel like I am dragging rear. So…much…going…on. It’s only the 2nd full month of school and the calendar is already packed. When did life get so busy? The schedule is loaded and the fuel tank is empty. Between my many aches and pains and Shelby’s frequent night-time awakenings, I don’t feel like I have the energy to meet all the obligations. I’m getting MORE tired just writing about it. Theater and speech tonight; physical therapy, work and an Apple Genius appointment (ugh, such a time suck) tomorrow; Wednesday I teach a class, have a scheduled lunch, wheelchair fitting, theater, and church; Thursday I work (my two part-time jobs feel like they are taking up more time than one full-time right now – without the decent paycheck and benefits). I could continue down my calendar, but won’t bore you with the details. All this is going on while my help-meet is out of town. And the only thing I really want to do is read a book. I want to curl up in a comfy chair and read. But that is a luxury not often afforded me.
At times the lack of strength and vitality I feel for the daily grind makes me question my physical and emotional wellness, and even my ability as a mom. But today, I see it through a different lens. I see purpose in my tired. Although most of us have long ago stopped believing that “busyness is next to godliness”, so many of us (hand embarrassingly raised here) have failed to alter our behavior. We stack our kids’ schedules hoping that keeping them busy will keep them out of trouble. There may be some truth to that, but are we also keeping them from developing meaningful relationships with God and others? Luke chapter 10 tells the story of Mary and Martha – sisters who both dearly loved Jesus. Martha expressed her love by busyness – working for Him. Mary sat at His feet and soaked up everything He said and did. When Martha complained about Mary’s “laziness”, Jesus replied, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” v. 41-42 NASB
Are we raising athletes who are exhausted and emotionally stunted? Are we building a resume for college but eliminating the margin needed to study Christ? Has attendance at church activities replaced the discipline of personal prayer and study? Psalm 46:10 says, “Cease striving [or be still] and know that I am God;” NASB. As I proved by digressing into my family planner, I have a lot to learn. I am not yet influencing my family to sit still. But if I am dragging rear, then at least I know we are slowing down.