Back in January, I shared my One Word focus for the year. Trust. I knew I lacked trust in our all-powerful God, so His leading in this direction did not surprise me. I trust Him with my eternal salvation but not with the care and keeping of myself and my loved ones. Not truly. It makes no sense, but I have a feeling I’m not the only one.
I have some significant lessons I feel led to share with you, but I confess I’m not sure how to do so. The biggest issue that I pray and plead with God about is not my story alone to tell. So out of respect, I must be vague. I value authenticity and wish I could be completely forthcoming, but I hope you will understand. And I pray the message still comes across. Here goes:
I shared several scriptures on trust in my original One Word post. In the months since, I have been a faithful scribe, copying them in longhand almost every day for meditation and memorization purposes. I have prayed fervently for God to take away this burden of distrust and help me place all the things in His capable hands. And yet I still hold on.
What do I mean by distrust? Uncontrollable shaking every time I got a phone call about the situation. Mini panic attacks (never had those before). Medication to sleep after learning new information. Heavy anxiety. No peace whatsoever. Until God took my knowledge of the issue away.
God must have decided that if I couldn’t release the reigns to Him, He would take away any semblance of control I thought I had. No more new information coming in. No way to assert my opinions or even the truth of God’s Word into the situation. I argued with Him. (Of course, I did.) How will I know when there’s a new development? Who else will speak truth into this mess?
And in His kind way, God whispered, “I will speak truth into the mess.” and “I love them even more than you do.” and “I can handle it.” I confess that this initially caused me additional anxiety. But if I’m honest, I also felt relief. I can’t know. I can’t do. I can only pray and be.
I prayed for God to help me trust Him and He has delivered. Not the way I intended, but he did answer that prayer. He told me in no uncertain terms that he could do this without my help. And in the absence of information, my anxiety has plummeted. God forced my obedience, and I thank Him.
I still pray daily for this situation. And I am under no delusions that said situation will turn out the way I want. But I can have some semblance of rest and peace that God is in control of it. I need not interfere. And in the end, He will make all things right. It’s a promise.
God is our refuge and strength,
a very presentb]”>[b]”>bb]”>] help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Psalm 46:1-3
And now for this week’s featured post from the link up.
Sarah J Cullen for candidlychristian.com made me think about a very familiar scripture in a whole new way in Reconcile Like Jesus. Give it a read and tell me I’m not the only one! Thanks, Sarah.
1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.
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Letting go can be so hard! I know I want to fix things so can check it off and move onto the next thing fully (and think I am not the only women who does this)! I pray you continually feel God’s peace and rest in your mind and heart.
Thank you, Lynn. That is the perfect prayer and I really appreciate it.
In some ways I do better when a situation is out of my hands–then I can’t agonize over what I am supposed to do or say. But I still like to know what’s going on. Yet that doesn’t always happen either. Praying that the God who can do more than we can ask or think will guide and give grace and peace.
I know just what you mean, Barbara. And thank you for that perfect prayer.
Such a powerful message, Lauren. I am so sorry that you were struggling so hard with the feelings of anxiety and panic that came along with the situation. I am a firm believer we should release those things which are out of our control and give them over to our higher power. It takes a lifetime to learn how to let go to that extent, but once you learn how to do it, the rewards are most extraordinary. Thank you for always sharing your vulnerabilities within your own journey. It is so inspiring. Sending prayers for you and this situation. May it all work out exactly the way it is supposed to…which it will as all things do.
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
I think you are right in that it does take a long time to figure out how to let go sometimes. And sometimes we do it only to try to snatch it back. And have to give it over again.
Lauren, I rarely reveal the “challenge” I talk about in my posts – because like you, some parts of the story are not all mine to tell. As my children get older, it is less and less mine to tell – but we can talk about the challenge – and what God is teaching us through it. I remember God teaching me to trust – to realize I DID NOT HAVE THE ANSWERS. That I wasn’t the redeemer. I think that’s where He taught me how to live in the wait of a prayer sent out – and to just ask Him to stand with me. I understand the panic attacks. I understand not being able to sleep. There were times I’d wake up crying and praying. I am better – it’s been a 12 year journey. You are better, too! In two years, five years, 10 years, you will be even better at handing it over to God – the letting go and letting Him! Praying for refreshing, for peaceful sleep and restful dreams. If prayers hug, they’re giving you a big hug right now! ~ Maryleigh
I wasn’t the redeemer. That is a great thing to keep in front of myself. I have said, “I’m not the holy spirit”. This person has the holy spirit. And I do think prayers are hugs. I’m feeling it now.
Lauren, the scripture you have quoted reminds me of the day I v was walking along a street in Sydney, Australia. Just after my late husband’s brain surgery for a large brain tumour. And we had been told he didn’t have long on this earth.
I was meditating upon that verse as I walked & realised He’s so much more…
He isn’t only,
“…our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.”
But a very ‘pleasant’ help in times of trouble too!
Bless you,
Jennifer
I love that, Jennifer. Thank you so much for sharing.
You’re most welcome ☺️
Whew, this post REALLY resonates with me in this season, Lauren. I’ve been struggling with a relationship (and like you, it’s not fully my story to share). But I’ve discovered more and more that my hands are tied in resolving it, which is leaving me with boatloads of anxiety. 🙁
So I also need to accept this truth you share:
“And in His kind way, God whispered, “I will speak truth into the mess.” and “I love them even more than you do.” and “I can handle it.””
I am so sorry we are sharing similar struggles but boy do I know how to pray for you in that. And I will.
I’m going to feature your post at our linkup this Friday, Lauren. I need to keep it handy for my own edification. 🙂 I also want to encourage you to add it to the One Word linkup at my blog if you’d like to, because I know it will prove beneficial for others in the One Word group too!
https://lisanotes.com/one-word-2021-linkup-july/
Thank you so much for the feature! And I will go back and link it to one-word. I actually meant to do that and forgot.
Lauren, I am so sorry for the painful circumstances you are going through. I also thank you for sharing how God is working in you. I am always amazed at how there are times, He may not change our circumstances right away but in the meantime, He changes us. What a merciful and gracious God we have! Praying for you this morning.
So thankful for Him. Thank you again for praying, Joanne.
I can tell that you have truly embraced the word that God chose for you this year! Keep it up!
Thank you for the encouragement, Barb!