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I Love You More

February 11, 2022 by Lauren 31 Comments

I love you more“When one loves, one does not calculate.”  St. Therese of Lisieux

“To ‘spend out’ is to give up keeping score, to give love without calculation.”  The Happiness Project One-Sentence Journal:  A Five-Year Record

 

I can almost remember when my husband and I started saying, “I love you more” to each other – but not quite.  If memory serves me (and it doesn’t always these days), I read a book the first year of our marriage in which the main characters had a similar exchange.  They created a word out of the first letters of each word and signed their cards this way.  For example, “I love you more” would become ILYM.

 

The book characters used a slightly different phrase, although I can’t now recall what that phrase was.  Nor the character’s names, or the title of the book.  But I digress.

 

I wanted to emulate this idea and landed on “I love you more” and ILYM. 

For 23 years we have attempted to one-up each other with this phrase. 

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Sweet sentiments turned to fake arguments.  Both of us seeking to “best” each other in the love department.

 

The longer we have been together, the more I understand what it means to love someone more.  When the honeymoon period gives way to the “life-is-hard” period (which lasts a whole lot longer, btw); you not only learn what your love is made of, you learn to do it better.  Not perfect, but if you work at it, better.

 

The more I see this man of mine trust God through the trials, the deeper my love grows.  The more he handles with integrity and grace, the more I adore him.  It’s a love much deeper than the butterflies and romantic gestures now.  But to be honest, there is no way I love him better than he loves me.  He truly wins that contest hands down.

 

A Different Perspective on “I Love You More”

 

Recently I saw a sign in a store that finally made sense of our back and forth exchange.  And I bought it, of course.  I wanted to share the words here with you.

 

I love you more

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

P.S.  If you want to read about the greatest love that you can have, check out my friend Jessica Thompson’s new book How God Loves Us:  40 Days to Discovering His Character in the Fruit of the Sprit. 

 

And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

 

I relate so completely with Lois Flowers’ post The Most Important Truth About Covid.  And she brings such hope in the midst of the nitty gritty.  Very timely and helpful.

 

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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Filed Under: Christian, Grace & Truth Link Up, love, marriage Tagged With: Jessica Thompson, Valentine's Day

Comments

  1. Joanne Viola says

    February 11, 2022 at 7:11 am

    Lauren, I laughed as you shared about “one-upping” each other in expressing love. I wonder if all couples do this as my husband and I surely do! But the sign … I would have bought it as well! It truly says it best. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Chuck. May the Lord continue to give strength and bring health in the days ahead!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 11, 2022 at 1:19 pm

      Thank you for those prayers, Joanne!

      Reply
  2. Donna says

    February 11, 2022 at 10:24 am

    Lauren this is beautiful! Such a great way to express how love should be whether in marriage or any other relationship! Love the sign!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 11, 2022 at 1:19 pm

      You are so right, Donna! Could apply to many types of relationship.

      Reply
  3. Danielle says

    February 11, 2022 at 1:09 pm

    I like the idea of saying I love you more. And the book sounds really good.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 11, 2022 at 1:18 pm

      Love!

      Reply
  4. Linda Stoll says

    February 11, 2022 at 4:07 pm

    I’m going to try tossing this phrase in my husband’s direction and see how he responds. Can’t help but think he’ll think twice before responding!

    Happy weekend, friend …

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 14, 2022 at 7:15 pm

      Please let me know how it goes! I’m so curious.

      Reply
  5. Barbara Harper says

    February 12, 2022 at 8:55 am

    It actually used to irritate me a bit when I heard (or read) other couples saying this. One person would say, “I love you,” and when the other responded with “I love you more,” it seemed like they were saying “I’m doing it better” rather than receiving the other’s expression of love. But, I thought, it works for them, so it’s not for me to criticize. And the Bible does say, “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10)–maybe that’s what they meant.

    But i really like that sign–that way of “love you more” makes good sense to me.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 14, 2022 at 7:13 pm

      I love this in light of the verse you shared!

      Reply
  6. Laura Bambrick says

    February 12, 2022 at 9:31 am

    I love that sign you found! My hubby and I say I love you more too!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 14, 2022 at 7:12 pm

      Love it!

      Reply
  7. Maryleigh says

    February 14, 2022 at 1:11 pm

    I LOVE this! Your “I love you more” made me think about when the boys were little and we’d read “I love you to the moon and back.” We’d all try to one-up each other until one of them said “I love you to God’s beard” and I answered, “I love you to God’s beard and back.” I need to look for that sign! What a great wedding gift for my son and his bride this May!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 14, 2022 at 7:12 pm

      I love your version with your kids! Thank you for sharing.

      Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 14, 2022 at 7:12 pm

      Also, I got the sign from Altar’d State!

      Reply
  8. Donna B Reidland says

    February 14, 2022 at 3:30 pm

    Lauren, my husband and I do many of the same things. We verbally express our love often and try to outdo each other in showing love and preferring each other. And like you, my husband wins hands done. He loves me so well that it makes me want to love him back better every day! We are truly blessed, aren’t we!

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 14, 2022 at 7:11 pm

      We are more than blessed, Donna!

      Reply
  9. Lovely says

    February 15, 2022 at 12:08 am

    I love that sign.
    xoxo
    Lovely
    http://www.mynameislovely.com

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 15, 2022 at 4:54 pm

      Me too!

      Reply
  10. Joanne says

    February 15, 2022 at 11:10 am

    What a beautiful sign! I love that sentiment.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 15, 2022 at 4:53 pm

      Me too, Joanne.

      Reply
  11. PaulaShort says

    February 15, 2022 at 5:41 pm

    That is a great sign. Gives a great perspective and something to ponder. Blessings.

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 15, 2022 at 5:59 pm

      Blessings to you, Paula.

      Reply
  12. Carol says

    February 15, 2022 at 5:45 pm

    I really like the sentiments that are communicated on that sign. Thank you for linking up at Talent-Sharing Tuesdays Link-Up 7.
    Carol
    http://www.scribblingboomer.com

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 15, 2022 at 5:59 pm

      Me too, Carol. I’m so glad I found your link up.

      Reply
  13. Tammy Kennington says

    February 17, 2022 at 7:27 pm

    Lauren,

    I wish you lived nearby. Your sense of humor cracks me up and I need a good friend with whom I can laugh.

    In an effort to go beyond “I love you most” phraseology, I cousin of mine has added “mostest” to her family banter. Not exactly correct grammar, but it does the job.

    Blessings,
    Tammy

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 18, 2022 at 2:06 pm

      I wholeheartedly approve “mostest”. And I do think we would have so much fun as neighbors!

      Reply
  14. Holly Breton @ Pink Lady says

    February 18, 2022 at 11:51 am

    Such beautiful words as always- you squished my heart with this post XO

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 18, 2022 at 2:02 pm

      Awww. Thanks, Holly.

      Reply
  15. Michelle says

    February 20, 2022 at 12:09 pm

    This is so lovely, Lauren. My husband and I have a similar “fake” argument. Ours is over who the lucky one us in our relationship.

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

    Reply
    • Lauren says

      February 21, 2022 at 9:59 am

      I love that, Michelle.

      Reply

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I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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