I had the privilege of speaking at a women’s retreat in Glen Rose, Texas over the weekend on the theme of “Strong to the Finish – through daily heart-wrenching challenges”.  I decided that one of my bloggy friends might need to hear this message, so I wrote it down.  Keeping in mind that this was written for a live audience, here is the general idea:

Our theme for the weekend is Hebrews 12:2, but I want to back it up to include verse 1.  “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  I have been employed as a fitness instructor for 15 years, so I can’t leave out the part about running our race.  Especially with its emphasis on endurance.  Many of the challenges life throws at us last for a season.  But without minimizing how difficult those challenges can be, the kind I want to share with you about can last a lifetime.  I’m not talking about problems that we just have to find a solution for.  I’m talking about situations that we must persevere through.

As some of you already know, my daughter Shelby has Dravet Syndrome.  Dravet is a genetic and catastrophic seizure disorder.  She has endured uncontrolled seizures of varying types her entire young life.  She has visited ERs and hospitals more times than I could count and she’s tried more medications and treatments than I care to rehash.  Shelby has had seizures lasting just a few seconds, she’s had seizures lasting over an hour, and everything in between.  Due to the nature of the syndrome, the frequency and duration of her seizures, and some of the awful medications she has been on, Shelby is extremely developmentally delayed.  At 15, she has the mental and physical capacity of a 2 year old.  She speaks in primarily one-word utterances, needs her food cut up for her, has to be bathed and dressed, and wears pull-ups.  She cannot be left unsupervised for any length of time.  And did I mention that she still doesn’t sleep through the night?  I never imagined, that at the stage in life that I would have grandchildren, I would also, for all practical purposes, still be taking care of a toddler at home.

How do you endure when life is so different – so much harder – than you pictured?  How do you stay strong?  First, I want to tell you that I have an amazing support system.  My husband is an incredible hands-on dad.  We make a good team.  God knew what He was doing when He put us together.  My sister Erin kept Shelby for me during the scariest years of seizures so that I could escape to stress-relieving exercise.  Kristen, my twin, volunteers for night duty when she stays with me – even though she usually has to work the next day.  My parents have been amazingly involved from the onset.  They take care of her, whether it scares them or not, to give my husband and I time to nurture our marriage.  And my parents and in-laws both have been generous with the resources they have when procedures, medications and respite have been cost prohibitive.  I have friends and family members, and many of you, that have prayed diligently for Shelby and for us.  We feel those prayers and they are deeply appreciated.  I confess to you now, however, that with all of my amazing support, with the world’s best doctors and therapists, and if I had the financial resources of Donald Trump himself (no, this is not a political statement), I would still be a basket case without the peace that only Jesus Christ can supply.

Jesus said in John 16:33, “I have told you these things [that’s the words in red in your Bible], so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  Did you catch what Jesus said there?  He said we will have trouble.  He never promised anything different.  But He also said peace is possible.  Let me say that again.  Possible.  He said you may have it.  Not you will.  I don’t say that to be discouraging.  I say it because if you have lived in this world for longer than a minute, you know that just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean you will float through life on a cloud of tranquility.  And yet Jesus does make this promise, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.”  John 14:27  He says He’ll give it.  But I believe Satan would like nothing better than to steal our peace.  In this crazy, complicated, painful world, someone who can handle difficult circumstances with joy and a calm assurance is very attractive to others.  Anyone can conduct themselves well when times are good, but when a believer walks through adversity with victory, it can be a powerful witness.  Unbelievers will want to know the difference-maker – who is Jesus.  Peace intimidates our enemy.  So how can we grab onto this promised peace and keep it for the long-haul?

The first two action items are in Phil 4:6-7.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  We have to pray.  Present your requests.  God knows what you want already, but there is no better way to build your relationship with Him than to talk to Him about it.  There is power in that.  Psalm 29:11 says, “The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.”  Ask for strength.  Ask for peace.  And in your prayers, thank Him.  That’s action item #2.  Practicing thankfulness for who God is and what He has already done for you will increase your faith.  And bigger faith leads to more trust which leads to – guess what?  Is. 26:3 “You will keep in perfect PEACE [emphasis mine] those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”  I want to steal from Priscilla Shirer’s The Armor of God study to encapsulate the changes that can occur in our lives when we regularly practice prayer and thanksgiving.  She says, “When God sees this type of prayerful, grateful faith, when our mind is squared on Him, the peace of God expands within us.  It stabilizes our runaway emotions, centers our minds, guides our footsteps and even overflows into our experience with others.  It cools our sharp tongue, dismantles our emotional walls, and keeps us from being so difficult to be around.”

The third thing we simply must have to usher peace into our situations really should be the first thing.  It’s the most important thing.  Psalm 85:10 says that “righteousness and peace kiss each other”.  In Biblical culture that kiss would probably not just symbolize that they are in relationship with each other, but that they are married to each other.  We must be in right relationship with God to experience true peace.  Does that mean we have to be perfect?  No.  Romans 5:5 says, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  We can only be made right through belief in what Jesus did for us on the cross.  And the more we spend time with the Father and get to know Him and His Son, the more peace we can have (see 2 Peter 1:2).  When we accept God’s salvation and receive the Holy Spirit, peace is one of the fruits given to us (Gal. 5:22).  If you are not certain of your right relationship with God, I would love to talk to you further.

As I wrap us, I want to make sure I haven’t given you the impression that I believe we can tie a neat bow on all problems by being a Christian and saying a prayer.  When we are dealing with heart-wrenching challenges, peace is most often not immediate, and we don’t always feel strong.  Life is messy and complicated, and we occasionally need outside help to navigate it.  I benefited greatly from Christian counseling during a particularly difficult period of grieving.  God specially gifts and trains some clergy and therapists to help us find our way to peace.  So please reach out for that type of assistance if you are struggling.

To close, I would like to speak Romans 15:13 over you.  “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I get the privilege of introducing you to a guest blogger today.  My daughter Allie Sparks has written the following as a speech to give to her 5th grade GT class at school.  I wanted to allow her to share it here, not because the writing is brilliant (if you were looking for brilliant writing you certainly wouldn’t be reading MY blog), but because of the size of her heart.  I present to you, Allie’s “Spark Talk”:
     

    Sixty-five million. Do you know how many zeros that is? Six, thats six zeros. do you know what that sixty-five million represents to me? That represents the number of people living across the world today with epilepsy.  Two hundred thousand is another number that means a lot to me.  That represents the number of people diagnosed with epilepsy each year. I’m Allie Sparks, and for those of you who don’t know, epilepsy is a seizure disorder that causes from brain wave misfiring. A seizure can be any thing from shaking violently to rabid eye-blinking. People can have hundreds of seizures a week. Gran mal, eyelid myclonia and absence seizures are the most common. During a gran mal seizure they are unresponsive to their name and often stare off into space. They may also violently shake. A gran mal seizure can result in falling, bruises and even cuts. Eyelid myclonia is much less serious, it is rapid eye blinking and holding the head low. Absence seizures are when a person loses consciousness for a short period of time. This seizure is most common for those in adolescence. 
     How many of you have ever ridden a horse?  I have an sister who has epilepsy named Shelby.  She used to ride horses at a really cool place called Rocky Top.  My family is almost positive that the horse Shelby rode could sniff out her seizures.  He would stop for a minute and then Shelby would have a seizure.  It was pretty cool.
    Highly impacted children with epilepsy can’t ride a regular bike. They can’t do a lot of things that we can.  Some of the things that they can’t do were fixed by creative minds who wanted to help.  The Duet Wheelchair  Bicycle Tandem  lets kids like my sister ride a bike. The Make A Wish foundation granted this amazing wish for my family, so now when me and my dad go bike riding we don’t have to leave Shelby at home with my mom.  We can bike ride as a family. There are still some things that kids with epilepsy can’t do that haven’t been fixed by creative minds.  Thats why I want to help.  I want to be that creative mind and fix these things that they can’t do.  I want people to come along side me and many doctors who want to make the world a more fun and easier place for kids with epilepsy to live in.  I want to make a difference and I realize now that’s all I have ever wanted to do.  I want to change someone’s life.
     You have probably gone to summer camp before or something kind of like it.  Of course there are some camps for special needs kids, but they can cost thousands of dollars. I would like camp options to be cheaper.  One of the reasons why camp options are so expensive is because they have to hire and train staff.  I don’t want them to have to hire staff.  We should volunteer! When you turn sixteen you are allowed to volunteer to be a camp counselor at an Epilepsy Foundation summer camp. As soon as I turn sixteen you can guess where I will be during the summertime. Yep! You guessed it.  I will be at an  Epilepsy Foundation summer camp. There are lots of summer camps like Camp For All, Texas Lions Camp, Camp Kaleidoscope, Camp Summit,  Camp Blessing, Camp Neuron and Deer Creek Camp. Some of them cost up to two thousand dollars.
      Most kids with epilepsy look just like we do until they have a seizure in public.  Then most kids exclude them, don’t except them and some times don’t even look at them.  I know the feeling.  I have seen my sister be excluded for years.  It breaks my heart to see kids with epilepsy who are unlike and thought to be weird.  I have had a ton of kids ask me what’s wrong with her.  Don’t get me wrong, I love educating kids about her condition.  It’s just the way they look at her, like she’s not there, or that she’s so different from them that they won’t even look at her.  I want kids of the next generation’s brains to change so that they don’t look at how they are different.  They look at how they are the same.  Even though Shelby’s condition causes her to act like a two or three year old, she likes things that a fifteen year old girl would like.  She loves perfume, lip gloss, and hogging the mirror.  She loves dogs and hugs.  She may not look like you but she is the most loving and compassionate person I know.
     I am a sibling of a special needs child.  Many siblings have taken on the responsibility of caring for their siblings.  Being the sister or brother of a special needs child is life changing.  If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be up here talking about it.  Some of you might not realize how serious epilepsy is.  When Shelby was , she gran mal seizures so often that before we went on vacation we researched the hospitals in that area.  Even though Shelby is 15 now, my mom is still called to give her medicine at school or even take her home.  I believe that school boards should train their special ed staff more on how to deal with seizures.  Shelby should be able to go to school just like all of us and I hope you agree.  As you can see, I have learned to love kids who are different than I am.  I hope you do the same.
     “I’m not disabled.  I’m differently abled.”  That was said by Montel Williams.  Shelby may not be able to do all of the things that we can, but she can probably do them a little differently.  Shelby can’t talk as well as we can so she goes to speech therapy every week.  She is getting a lot better.
     So what now?  There are a lot of ways you can help.  First of all, you can go to www.eftx.org for more information and to donate to fund further research that could some day find a cure for epilepsy.  You can also go to thesparksnotes.com for more information on Shelby and my family.   I have been a guest blogger there.
     All of this talk about epilepsy and I haven’t told you why the name of my speech is “The Impossible Catch”.  Don’t be scared.  You can’t catch epilepsy.  Now I’m not saying that when you grow up you have to be a neurologist, or someone who helps special needs kids.  You don’t have to wait until you grow up.  You can start now!  No matter how short or how tall, you can make a difference in someone’s life.  There are so many people out there who could use your help.  They are ignored, excluded and left out.  You can be a friend.  Show them they are well liked, and you care about them.  You can make a difference.

I felt a huge weight lifting off my shoulders today as I completed a particular task.  I mean, I actually feel physically lighter.  Do you know the feeling?  If you are anything like me, I fear you are all too familiar with it.  And the relief is so great right now that I just wanted to talk to you about it, my friends.  I’m not sure how long the feeling will last, so I want to bask in it.  Roll around in it and jump up and down in it.  Because most of the time lately, I’m feeling overwhelmed instead of relieved.  I sense that you know this feeling too.  I’m stretched a little too thin for my own liking right now.  Working two part time jobs, coaching, volunteering, wifing (spell check is trying to tell me wifing isn’t a thing, but I say it is), mothering and grandparenting leaves me with not enough heads for all my hats.  But I love ALL those hats.  I want to wear them ALL and more importantly, I don’t really feel God calling me to give any of them up right now (accept maybe the coaching – but that’s an entirely different story).  So what to do?

Continuing in this overwhelmed state is not really an option.  I don’t like it.  I have never been one to thrive under stress or pressure.  I simply feel stressed and pressured.  When my plate gets too full, I feel like I am a jack of all trades and master of none.  And I SO want to do a good job at all of these.  My jobs are a source of joy to me, and a little helpful extra income for my family.  And there is NOTHING (except my relationship with God) more important to me than my husband and kids.  Both of my volunteer gigs are acts of service to the Lord, and I want to be available to help my step-son and daughter-in-law – whose very full arms are holding 2 biological kids and 3 fosters (all under the age of 4).  I happen to know, though, that I need down time to feel sane.  And it’s in short supply right now.  I need a little time to read and veg, watch tv and cuddle my dog, enjoy my husband and rest.  I cannot work every day until I fall into bed asleep and maintain my normal, sunny disposition.

I read this quote recently from Cindy Crawford:  “Life is where you’re at.  Whatever you’re doing is enough.  You don’t need to do everything well all the time.  When you live your life like that, it’s a huge relief.”  Well, that may be easy for billionaire super-model Cindy Crawford to say, but how does an average (average looking, average talent, average income) feel like enough?  I don’t think lowering our expectations of ourselves is really the solution.  I have to differ with Ms. Crawford on that point.  I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well.  But we have to check our motivation.  Scripture tells us “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Col 3:23 NIV  When we are striving for excellence to please our Heavenly Father, we may find that it releases us from some of the grind created by striving for earthly success.

If you are finding yourself a bit (or a truck load) overwhelmed, might I offer a couple of suggestions? Please understand that I haven’t mastered that peaceful, easy feeling, so I’m listening in on my own advice.  Now, with that warning, proceed with prayer and thoughtfulness.

First, examine your schedule.  Even though I don’t feel God’s call to lighten my load right now, that doesn’t mean I won’t in the future.  And if we are honest, we put way to much stress on ourselves by jam- packing our days (or our kids days).  We all need margin.  If you are running from work to appointment to practice to activity every day all day, I guarantee that it’s too much.  God created the idea of Sabbath.  And rest is not ONLY needed on Sunday (but if some of us would start there, it would go a long way).  Children need unscheduled time to enjoy their childhoods and we all need breathing space.  Enough space to rest and commune with God on a daily basis.  Some of you aren’t liking my first bit of advice, but here is the second anyway:   examine your motives.  If you have studied your schedule and nothing is screaming at you to be eliminated, then ask the “why” of each activity.  Are you working to please God, or man?  Do you find joy and peace in it?  Do your children find joy in the activities you have them enrolled in?  If you can’t answer a resounding “yes”, cut it out (said with Joey Gladstone hand motions)!  And once you feel that your scheduling is centered in God’s will for you and your family, press hard into His strength to achieve excellence.  You got this!  You are enough.