community Archives - Lauren Sparks

I subscribe to one of those “word of the day” email services. It’s cheesy, I know, but as a writer I hope to continue growing my vocabulary. At least I intend to. I have a custom folder on my app that I tuck these emails in every day. I keep thinking I will search through it and study these words, but I have yet to give them a second look. One word this week caught my attention and captured my imagination: whetstone – 1. a stone used for sharpening edged tools, knives, etc. 2. something that sharpens. (thefreedictionary.com)

This word immediately brought Proverbs 27:17 to mind. As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. NLT

Community hasn’t always been easy for me. I tend to romanticize ideas about friendship. My very best friend lived with me in college. We not only resided together, we worked together, went to church together and played together. She was the peanut butter to my jelly. In my imagination, our families could share a compound today and get along famously. But alas, she lives 672 miles away.

More than a few years ago, when little children kept me occupied in mind and body, I let our friendship fall by the wayside. I didn’t see how we could stay close across those miles. But I thought I HAD to have a best friend. So I set out to replace her. But I soon learned that forging bonds like that as an adult presents lots of challenges. Young moms lack the kind of time one must spend with another to know each other from natural hair color to past dating disasters and around to deep, dark secrets.

I tried, though. Dearest, did I try. I got myself into unhealthy relationships because someone would call me “best friend”. When friends dared to have other friends, I threw myself a jealous pity party! I was one step away from an attachment disorder. Most certainly, I was a disaster. My unrealistic expectations lead me to some lonely times. I’m not certain what snapped me out of this friendship funk. Maybe God performed a miraculous healing, or maybe I just grew older and wiser (hence why I can’t remember).

Thankfully, I woke up to the different ways a friendship can look. I reconnected with my bff across the miles. Mobile phones calls, Facetime and texting – although never enough to suit me – now keep us as close are those two college kids in my memories. And the couple of times a year we do get to see each other in person, well, it feels like going home.

God helped me to also embrace the idea of having multiple friends of varying levels of intimacy. I have a fun neighborhood friend who likes to play games and double date with our husbands. She sits next to me at church every Sunday. She also made a guest appearance on the blog a couple of weeks ago after I spit on her (mortifying and hilarious story here). I connected with another lady who challenges me to constantly consider what I believe and why. We read books together and entertain deep discussions and we laugh.

I met a friend in chemo who has absolutely nothing in common with me except a love for the Lord and our history of breast cancer. She now sits on my other side at church every week. I bonded with someone else over hard, hard things. She’s a counselor and gives the great advice when I need it. My hairdresser is a fantastic listener. So I started confiding in her and she confided me in. Now I get sacred friend time and a fantastic cut and color in the same hour. I also have my very first friends. My sisters and my mom.

You get the picture, right? Community is vital. Each and every person adds something different and important to my life. And prayerfully, hopefully, I serve them as well. They bring me immeasurable joy. I wholeheartedly believe that God uses these ladies (many who have never met) to make me sharper, funnier, better read and more thoughtful. Most importantly, they make me more like Him.

I would love it if you would share in the comments what friendship brings to your life.

And now for this week’s featured post!

I am just getting to know Wemi Omotosho as a writer, but I am so enjoying her voice in the blogosphere! Her strong encouragement in Loud was just the shot in the arm I needed this week. Visit her blog Reflections in the Mess: Connecting with God Through a Messy Life to learn, to absorb art and to be inspired. Thank you, Wemi, for linking up with us and grab a badge below for your website!

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

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I have an online friend I would like for you to meet. But before I introduce her, I want to remind you that the giveaway for the amazing Quest Q and A Study Bible is still open. Just scroll down and over to the right to subscribe and you’re entered to win! I’ll announce right here next week! And now…it’s an honor to acquaint you with Sue Donaldson, who blogs and podcasts at welcomeheart.com on hospitality, relationships and building the kingdom of God – one cup of coffee or homemade coffee cake at a time. She also speaks and writes for women like us. Women who want to make a difference with what they have been given.

Sue recently posted this verse on her website: Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. Psalm 90:12 NLT With it she launched a conversation I want to be a part of. How do we live a legacy life? How do we make our lives count for more than just today? Can we bring glory to God and enrich the lives of those we come in contact with? Maybe even long after we are gone? Sue teaches us that we can by first, loving God and investing in His Word; and second by caring for and expending ourselves for other people.

I asked this mentor to answer some questions of her own choosing about how she is making her life count. I think she has much to teach us:

What legacy do you want to pass down to those you know and love? Sue: That God is real and can be counted on. So much of what kids hear nowadays is antithetical to God’s existence, much less the call to abandon our lives to the only One worth living for. That’s the main thing: that [others] know that God can be depended upon, that God will love and forgive and strengthen and sustain and that this world and all its troubles are just a small part of their lives. Next I want to show them that following Jesus and inviting others to Him – strangers included – is the greatest joy. And that [my children’s] friends are always welcome in our home.
How are you currently doing that? Sue: Well, the only way is to keep trusting God myself. So that those closest to me see a true faith – not only a Sunday/church-going faith. When things get frantic or worrisome or hard, to tell them I’m frantic and worried, but giving whatever it is over to God for His safe-keeping. I also spend the first part of each day in the Word and prayer. For being such a spontaneous person, this part is locked in. All grace. Also, our home is an open home though imperfect, and the kids know it and have begun to emulate a generous spirit and heart for others. And I feel compelled to meet with younger women, and they seem to like it. Even if it’s just coffee – to bring other older believers together with younger women is fruitful, fun and simple. I’m intentional in my guest lists and in my questions around the table to get the conversation to a deeper level quickly. Everyone’s busy, but we all need a place where we can share our hearts and be blessed by hearing others’ journeys of faith. I don’t always know what to do to live a legacy life, so I go back to the basics: love God. Love others as myself. And do the next thing. Which may be laundry.
What changes did you have to make or obstacles did you need to overcome to make that happen? Sue: I had to stop comparing myself to other believers who seem to have it all together and continue to trust that God is working while I’m praying even when I don’t see it. It’s called faith for a reason, as hard as it is sometimes. It’s far too easy to live life in the short-form rather than the long view of eternity. So that’s an ongoing obstacle that I’m working on overcoming. Another obstacle [I have] is wanting to control the outcomes of events (and people!). The older I get, the easier it is to let things go as I experience God’s work and peace. I think parenting is the best lesson in learning to trust God (and I thought it was singleness!). Marriage is right up there with them both. I married an opposite. And sometimes that makes eternity quite appealing!
What wisdom would you like to share with my audience on making our lives count for something beyond ourselves? Sue: Make this your every day to-do list: #1 – relate well with God. #2 – everything else. Find a devotional tool that works for you. Choose Face to Face by Kenneth Boa (found here and here) if you haven’t read it – scripture written in the first person, meant to be read in 5 minutes a day. Lastly, take a leap to invite people over. Hospitality is a simple way to live a legacy life because you’re investing in people – never a waste of time. If it’s challenging for you, check out my resources.

Sue added: I want to live an “appetizer life.” So when others are around I provide a taste of what it’s like to belong to God. An appetizer is to whet the appetite – to give a person hope that the best is yet to be. Jesus is the main course. How we live is the best apologetic. I want to leave a legacy which makes others hungry for God: A mind of peace amidst a complicated day; a heart of joy and laughter in spite of circumstances; a word of hope for those who forget the truth; a hand to serve others more than myself; a table to fill – inviting those who come my way be they stranger, friend or family; a life of faith – that God is in the heavens and in my heart, and in His time all’s right with the world.

Take a look at these verses to learn more about this passion Sue has for Jesus and for others:

Then jump over to welcomeheart.com to read blog posts or listen to podcast episodes that will spur you on to love and good deeds. Every time I visit her site I leave encouraged to be more intentional in my relationship with God and others.

What about you? Have you given any thought to the legacy you want your life to be? If so, what are you currently doing to let your life speak? Comment below to continue the conversation.

Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of sharing it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!

And look up these great writers I link up with every week:

InstaEncouragements, Literacy Musing Mondays, Hello…Monday,

The Good. The Random. The Fun.

BloggerClubUK, Tea and Word Tuesday, Purposeful Faith,

GraceFull Tuesday Link-Up, Hearth and Soul Link Party,

Let’s Have Coffee, Welcome Wednesday, Recharge Wednesday,

Worth Beyond Rubies, #TellHisStory Link Up, Porch Stories,

Encouraging Word Wednesday, Tune In Thursday,

Stories of Hope, Moments of Hope, IHeart Verse Link Party,

Legacy Link Up, Fresh Market Friday, Feature Friday Time,

Friendship Friday Blog Hop, Faith on Fire, Traffic Jam Weekend,

Faith ‘n Friends, Dancing with Jesus, Grace & Truth, Booknificent

Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links. If you purchase anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.