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I Am Not Enough…and Grace and Truth Link Up

March 12, 2021 by Lauren 34 Comments

This past Monday the world observed International Women’s Day.  I know of and personally know many wonderful women worth celebrating.  And I’m thankful that women have and are fighting for equal rights and equal pay.  Women are just as worthy of success as anyone else with the same qualifications.  But I believe some messages of this movement miss the mark.  We (women and men) were not created to be completely independent of God or other people.

A simple google search of the phrase “I am enough” unearths multiple books, t-shirts, jewelry lines, canvas prints, a master class and a guided self-love meditation.  Self-help gurus shout from every platform, “I AM ENOUGH!”  “YOU ARE ENOUGH!”  In a world where every home improvement show and bikini-clad social media influencer nudges us toward comparison, it’s a nice thought.  But here’s the thing, it’s not true.

 

This message and the people spouting it are well-meaning, and very prevalent in this season.  The underlying message of building self-esteem, finding yourself worthy and loving who you are sounds good – even needed – in a climate of vicious bullying and cancel culture.  And yet the same people who tell us that we are inherently beautiful also want to sell us billions of dollars in diet programs and products and who-knows-how much in exercise equipment, apparel and gym memberships.  Also, we need to add to the Kardashian’s millions by using their cosmetic kits.  So which is it?  I am enough?  Or do I need all these things to make me better?

 

I would not dream of speaking for you, but I will tell you how I feel about myself.  Most definitely, I am NOT enough!  This will not be a popular sentiment, but I have not been, nor will I ever be in and of myself, enough!  If I measure myself against this world’s standards, there will always be someone smarter, prettier, more fit, more popular and who has nicer things!  So how could I possibly be satisfied navel-gazing at myself?  I can tell you without hesitation that I am not worthy, deserving or anywhere near perfect.  There is something in me that will always keep me from being enough.  But I am okay with that, because…

 

He is enough.

 

I don’t have to possess a supermodel’s body or perfectly symmetrical facial features.  Almighty God, with reverence, made me wonderful (Psalm 139:14)

 

Never will I be the strongest or the smartest.  That’s okay.  Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through him who gives me strength.”  And I might as well cease striving in my own power because apart from God’s Holy Son, Jesus, I can do nothing.  (John 15:5)

 

I don’t have to dot every i or cross every t.  Through Jesus, God forgives me for all my sins (Ephesians 1:7).  Jesus died so I won’t have to be “good enough” (Galatians 2:21).  I could never be righteous without His intervention.

 

As a middle aged, middle class woman, the probability of me gaining success according to our culture’s standards is low.  But because of God’s blessings, I “abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8).

 

I no longer feel the need to hide my imperfections, because God’s power shines brightest through my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

 

Whether or not I am in a romantic relationship or in the popular group, I am chosen and cherished by the Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:4, 1 Peter 2:9).

 

I could tell myself all day long that I’m enough.  But a part of me knows that something is missing without Jesus.  It’s not always easy to drown out the voices in my head and see myself the way God sees me.  The loud messages of the world don’t line up.  But the truth is…I can’t define my value.  God’s word already describes me as a beloved daughter of the King of all Kings.  What could be better than that?

 

And now for this week’s featured post!

 

AnnMarie of  busyblessedwomen.com wrote about The God Who Sees Me last week.  I didn’t realize how much I needed to explore this aspect of God’s character.  In a world that is so noisy, it can be hard to feel truly seen, truly known and loved.  But in God we are!  Thanks, AnnMarie, for linking up with Grace and Truth.

Grace and Truth_Rules

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace Truth_ButtonGrace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

 

 

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To find some great places where I might be sharing this post, click here.

 

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To End a Generational Curse

January 16, 2020 by Lauren 18 Comments

Boy, this is tough.  I have a confession.  Whew.  Ok, here goes.  I have been insecure about the way I look since forever.  You aren’t surprised are you?  Most women share those feelings.  As author Jennifer Dukes Lee put it, “We tell ourselves that we’re not enough – or we let our bathroom scales tell us that we’re too much.”  If this was the mindset of only a few, the diet and beauty industries wouldn’t be generating between $50 and $60 billion dollars a year!  Each!

 

I could tell you stories about what I believe caused the genesis of my flimsy self-esteem, but I won’t go down that rabbit hole.  What’s important to me now is helping my daughter avoid the pitfalls of misplaced self worth.  So I jumped at the chance (actually sat in my favorite chair with a cup of tea) to read and review Confident Moms, Confident Daughters:  Helping Your Daughter Live Free from Insecurity and Love How She Looks by Maria Furlough.

 

In the first chapter, the author despells any notion that becoming confident is important simply for its own sake.  As believers in Christ, anything good in us comes from God and God alone.  Furlough tells us that “security is in us.  It always has been.  When we think insecure thoughts or act on our lack of self-confidence, we make the decision to hand our security away.”  And “confidence in who we are as God’s beautiful creations protects us from harming ourselves and others.”  I personally made many unhealthy decisions and gave myself over to risky behaviors and relationships in the quest to feel attractive.

 

The author’s premise is that in order to instill confidence in our daughters, we moms have to be secure in how we look.  And although I agree with this, Furlough’s methods are a little too hokey and simplistic for me.  She advises making lists of things we love about ourselves and having mirror pep talks telling ourselves that we are beautiful.  Although Psalm 139 is a great place to remind ourselves of our worth in our Heavenly Father’s eyes, saying some of those things into a mirror feels a little insincere to me.  And so does a fake it ’til you believe it strategy.

 

The book includes an interview with a pediatrician who advises us to eat “5-2-1-0”.  Five servings of fruit and vegetables per day, two hours max of screen time, one hour of active time and the zero stands for limiting things such as sugary drinks.  This is fabulous advice, but looks like zero teenagers I actually know.

 

Furlough states that we as moms are the confidence standards in our home.  I believe this is absolutely true up until the teenage years.   By that point (according to an expert source that I can’t for the life of me remember but promise I read) parents are in the fourth place of influence for their children.  We lag behind friends, the culture at large, and other authority figures such as teachers and youth ministers.  So while I agree that the stuff we continue to carry around, we pass down to our girls, there are also many other balls in play.

 

Even if we could end our own obsession with physical beauty, society’s obsession rages on.  And that voice is strong for my fourteen year old.  What this book gets so right, though, is that true beauty comes from within.  We wear ourselves out when we focus primarily on the physical, because there will always be someone prettier.  “No matter what we do, say, eat, crunch, or tuck we will never become beautiful enough to fix our confidence problem…Our only hope is healing from the inside out.”

 

We, unfortunately, have an enemy that whispers constantly in our ears that we aren’t good enough.  Our daughters hear it and we hear it.  We can only counteract the negative with God’s truth.  He never intended us all to have the same size noses or the same color complexions or the same size jeans (genes).  He poured His creativity all over us.

 

After reading this book and giving it plenty of thought, I think we moms of girls have three action items here.  First, to pray to the God of miracles for supernatural confidence.  Second, to use our words and actions to help our kids appreciative the unique and beautiful ways God made them.  And three, pray some more and ask God to cover over the many mistakes we will make with our words and actions.

 

The end of each chapter of this book lists “Confident Daughter Discussion Questions”.  My daughter and I have been working our way through them at the table after dinner each night.  We are having the best, most valuable discussions!  (See the second action point above.)  I would pay the cover price many times over for these exchanges with my girl.

 

Your turn.  Do you have any advice for nurturing more confidence in yourself or those under your influence?  Join the conversation by leaving a comment.

 

Revell Books generously provided me with a copy of this book for the purposes of review.  All thoughts and opinions, unless otherwise stated, are my own.  

 

Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!

 

And look up these great writers I link up with every week:

InstaEncouragements, Literacy Musing Mondays, Hello…Monday,

The Good. The Random. The Fun.

BloggerClubUK, Tea and Word Tuesday, Purposeful Faith,

GraceFull Tuesday Link-Up, Hearth and Soul Link Party,

Let’s Have Coffee, Welcome Wednesday, Recharge Wednesday,

Worth Beyond Rubies, #TellHisStory Link Up, Porch Stories,

Encouraging Word Wednesday, Tune In Thursday,

Stories of Hope, Moments of Hope, IHeart Verse Link Party,

Legacy Link Up, Fresh Market Friday, Feature Friday Time,

Friendship Friday Blog Hop, Faith on Fire, Traffic Jam Weekend,

Faith ‘n Friends, Dancing with Jesus, Grace & Truth, Booknificent

Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help

 

 

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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