Lauren Sparks

The Sparks Notes

Your 2020 Holiday Gathering Doesn’t Have to Be a Whoopin’ (That’s Texan for Drag)

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Raise your hand if you used Zoom for a family or friend gathering this year.  Yeah, me too.  I’m super thankful for this technology in 2020 – I’m even teaching yoga classes this way.  But after the initial excitement of “being together” and catching up a bit comes the awkward silence.  Please tell me it’s not just MY family that searches for something else to say.  We miss each other and don’t want to “end session” yet, but what else can we talk about?

 

Maybe due to safety concerns and travel restrictions you are staring down a Christmas “celebration” with the same few people you holed up with for months.   You haven’t gone anywhere or done anything significant, so you wonder what you can talk about!  How can you keep from vegging out in front of the TV (although Christmas movies are a delight ) and staring at your phones for the entirety of the break?  I found exactly what will make 2020 gatherings, whether live or online, more fun and more meaningful.

 

I asked my fellow blogger and author Sue Donaldson where she got the idea to write conversation starters.  Here is her response:

I created them because I’ve found that when we meet together it can be a waste of time if we don’t get to really know each other. It began when I invited believers and non-believers together at the same table. I ask a general question, and follow with a little bit deeper one.  Then we go around the room, each person answering the questions. We end up connecting–laughing or crying or both– as we find commonalities in our stories. We become more empathic as we hear how someone has struggled or is in the midst of struggle. Asking the right question brings understanding which leads to compassion. 

When my husband and I first married, we invited two of Mark’s colleagues and their wives for dinner. I was the insecure, younger Dr’s wife. But I asked the men to answer: “Why did you choose medicine?” and the women, “Why did you say ‘yes’ to your husband’s proposal?”.  The evening went swimmingly. Nowadays, I pray in advance of my event and ask God for the right questions for the particular group. One such evening was so incredibly meaningful as the women answered the two questions: “What did you want to be when you were little when you grew up?” (gales of laughter) and “Who are you becoming right now?” (some tears, tons of compassion – as two were divorcing and didn’t’ know who they were anymore).  This was, again, a mixed group with women on both sides of the Gospel. One such gal said afterwards, “This was so good” (I had just met her at the gym) and I replied, “I’ve found that women are lonely.” And she said, “I’m lonely.”   We now walk every week together. God uses such times as friendships are built, and community deepened. 
This Thanksgiving, we did it a little differently.  My brother Steve has my Convo starters (the digital one – which is nice because it’s easy to make copies of the pages and cut into strips)- he copied three questions and stapled them together and passed them around to their guests. They had a choice to answer just one of three. I decided to try it out and had my middle daughter pick two questions on strips of paper and staple them together and each guest pick a “set” to answer.    We went around the circle between turkey and pie and heard some great stories and got to know one another better. We are still talking about what we heard! Convo starters empower the shy person and they keep the talkative person on track!
The purpose of community is to grow our faith, as well as introduce God to the unbeliever. Convo starters enable both.

 

Conversation starters aren’t a new thing, but this one feels fresh.  The author mixes fun topics with questions that encourage storytelling and sharing.  Whether you order Say Something Special (available in digital form if you need it sooner than Amazon can deliver) or come up with your own, don’t just “hope” for a fun and meaningful celebration.  Plan for it!

 

And now for this week’s featured post.

 

I love Sarah Geringer’s Advent series.  This week she linked An Advent Mindset:  How Zechariah’s Shift in Thinking Will Inspire You, but I recommend you go back and read last week’s too and subscribe to Sarah’s blog to make sure you get the rest!

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Ushering in Advent

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How has November come and gone?  Daylight savings kicked off the month by messing with my sleep.  That early morning sun wakes me before I want to rise, but the mild, beautiful days help.  I thank God that it’s finally comfortable enough here in Texas to exercise outside, but I  always pine for colder temps to get me into the holiday spirit.  If you live in the north, I can hear you rolling your eyes from down here.  I’m sure you would trade me for my 72 degree days.  We always seem to want what we don’t have.  There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

 

The election season remains an adventure.  No matter what side of the fence you sit on (let’s be honest – both sides have become so extreme that most of us reside somewhere in the middle), just remember that approximately half the country grieves.  Everyone be kind and behave.

 

So much in the world feels heavy and dark to me right now.  So I decided to lighten up.  My hair anyway.  My friend and stylist cut several inches off and gave me a brighter color.  I feel like a new woman!  I have been told that I look both younger and thinner.  So my stylist is a true miracle worker!  My favorite dog took a trip to her stylist and got cleaned and trimmed up too.  In my frugality, I let my yorkie get pretty shaggy between visits and I always forget how cute she really is when groomed!

 

My best friend flew in from Alabama mid-month and lifted my spirits even more.  We shopped too much, ate too much, took a long walk in a beautiful park and talked about all the things.  We took in some early Christmas decor at the Gaylord Hotel for a night with my twin sister and another friend who drove up from Waco!  Much needed refreshment.  As I write this, my bff left yesterday and I already miss her.  Many thanks to her sweet family for loaning her to me.  Now I continue my scheming and plotting to get them to move back to Texas.

 

Allie stays busy with school and choir practice.  And even though she’s not driving yet herself, two of her best friends scored a license in the past month and she calls for our chauffeur services rarely now.   I can’t believe her time will come before we know it.  She already owns a car generously gifted to us by her aunt, but the stereo was shot.  An important feature for a music loving teen, we gifted her with a new one (part of her Christmas) and surprised her with it.  Such a fun reaction from a very happy girl.

 

The doctor cut out my ingrown toenails.  Ouch!  But at least he wrapped me in purple for Epilepsy Awareness Month!  I also have some nice new skin sores after the dermatologist froze several spots for me.  When you are 100% family out of pocket max on your insurance, you take care of all the things.  (Thanks Allie’s broken leg!)

 

The return of some TV favorites excited us (what else is there to do).  A Million Little Things, The Mandalorian, and The Crown thrilled and entertained.  We tried the new show Big Sky and found it too dark, not even finishing the episode.  Dark and heavy is the real world.  I need light and funny right now.  Even silly, which is why we picked up with the last season of Fuller House that we never completed.  If escapism and happy endings appeal to you, I recommend Love, Guaranteed on Netflix.  Just do it.  And as you read this, Thanksgiving is officially over and Christmas movies took center stage!

 

Covid-19 continues to be the gift that keeps on giving.  Many of our favorite holiday traditions have been canceled or strangely altered.  Including dinner and football at my parents’ house.  I am trying not to be a brat about it because I do believe it’s the smartest and safest thing to do, but this girl is in desperate need of things to look forward to.  So I cooked the turkey and dressing for my little family and my twin and her husband.  My other sister and her family stopped by for a socially distanced visit in the front yard.  At least that’s still doable in unseasonably warm Texas.

 

I will wrap this up with a picture of a HUGE headless reindeer I came across.  This might be the most 2020 Christmas decoration ever.  I pray you enjoyed a lovely Thanksgiving and that you embrace the Advent season and the hope it brings.  As always, I love you, I thank you, and I pray December treats you well.

 

And now for this week’s featured post!

 

Because I don’t want the discussion around racial injustice to wane, I had to feature Grace and Truth’s own Lisa Burgess’ recommended reading on the subject.  She has compiled a comprehensive list of resources here.  Visit her over on lisanotes.com to see what else she is writing.

 

 

Grace and Truth_Rules

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

 

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Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

 

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

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Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

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