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End Stigma in the Church: Be Doers, Not Hearers Only

May 13, 2022 by Lauren 10 Comments

End stigmaI had the privilege of stumbling onto Katie R Dale’s blog a few months ago.  She is a believer living with BiPolar disorder who is refreshingly transparent in speaking about her struggles.  She is a popular author and speaker and is a fierce advocate for those suffering with mental health issues.

I’m so honored that Katie chose to guest post here for Mental Health Awareness Month on the ways we can help end stigma associated with mental illness in the church.  

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“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” James 1:22 (ESV)

Being a doer and not just a hearer of God’s Word yields no room for stigma toward mental health conditions in the church.

We need to talk about the realities of mental illness.  And we need to do our part to help end stigma.   The more we can do these things, the more we can break down stigmatizing barriers that prevent many from getting the help they truly need.

The Difference Between Sin and Sickness

God designed our minds, bodies, spirits, and souls to work together. They are intertwined, and no part is left unchanged or unaffected by the others.

With the entire picture of a person, you can see them.  In light of shortcomings and victories, accomplishments and failures. We all have our flaws and weaknesses.

Character is shaped by conscious choices.  That is the difference between accountability for the choice of sin or a mental illness.   Mental illness is never a conscious choice, though actions and behaviors may mimic the choice of committing a sin.

The bottom line is that no matter the cause of the behaviors, loving others with the same grace we have been given creates a safe space to help someone get the treatment they need. That treatment may need to be addressed with a pastor, or it may need to be addressed with a trained clinician.

It Depends on the Cause

The person suffering from mental illness is struggling with symptoms of a brain disorder. As one with lived experience, I can attest that we cannot always comprehend it, and can never “will” ourselves out of it. We may be led into sin because of the brain chemistry imbalance.  We may hurt ourselves or others because of the sinful state we find ourselves in.  But we should not be judged.

After all, God sees and weighs the intents of one’s heart. As an onlooker, why should we take on the impossible role of Judge?   We cannot determine whether a person is sinning intentionally? Only when one is willfully sinning, is aware of the sin, and has the insight to recognize it is wrong, only then should we address this sin as the family of God.

We shouldn’t confuse willfully sinful behavior with the mental instability and lack of insight from which someone with a brain disorder behaves. People with mental illnesses do things rashly, out of irritability, striking out and hurting themselves and others. We need to educate the church to distinguish between the two, and do better.

Knowing Better to End Stigma

Those hurting out of a brain chemistry imbalance are sick and need treatment. The last thing they need is to be discriminated against, judged, and called to accountability as if they have sinned. To some degree, they can’t help their behavior.

Mental illness may be something a person is ashamed of.  We need to love and encourage them to get treatment and care.

There are some practical ways to encourage a brotherly affection and love toward others.  Let’s combat stigma so that it has no chance to fester or grow.  Per the golden rule, may we put ourselves in others shoes, and if they don’t “fit”, may we educate ourselves so they do.

Ways to End Stigma

  • Talk about mental illness. Be brave and open about your own diagnosis if you have one. If a family member is the one with the illness and is open and okay with it, talk about how you support them in their episodes. Transparency makes an acceptable atmosphere to share our struggles, so others can understand what life is like with mental illness.
  • Educate yourself. Read articles and blogs online, check out books from the library.  Rent or buy memoirs on mental illness, listen to podcasts. See this list of resources for more info. There are plenty of ways to find out more about brain disorders, and new breakthroughs in research are coming out all the time.
  • Be a good neighbor to those with mental illness. Try to start a conversation in a natural way. If they are coherent and cognizant of their moods, be a good friend to them and let them know you’re there for them. Be present and interested in them. You don’t have to agree with them, but acknowledge what they’re saying and validate their feelings and thoughts.  If it doesn’t make sense or isn’t true, do not argue with them. Instead, say, “You sound like you’re having a hard time. What do you need right now?” More suggested ways to talk with someone with mental illness can be found here.More Ways

More Ways

  • Take it a step further; be a good friend. Ask them about their family and how they’re doing.  Ask what you can do to help (if they’re having conflict). If they answer with something practical, by all means, help them. If they ask for something unreasonable or unsuitable, let them know you can’t help them in that way, but you would like to be of help. Then find someone who is more suited to help in the capacity they may need.
  • Realize this may be lifelong, but not hopeless. This is common (1 in 5 have a mental health condition, 1 in 20 have a serious brain disorder). There is more help for these conditions than ever before.
  • Start a support group. Encourage your loved one struggling to find a mental health support group. There are many across the country and virtually, like Fresh Hope for Mental Health,  Grace Alliance, My Quiet Cave, and others.
  • To pastors: your church needs to hear from the top. Talk about it in your sermons, or host a Fresh Hope support group or one like it. Many benefit from the openness of those sharing about their struggles.  They see that they can find relatable, transparent, down-to-earth human beings. We need to accept our diagnoses and struggles and not act as if we’re perfect.

No Shame, End Stigma, All Support

Stigma is discrimination against those with mental health issues. By treating all others as we would like to be treated and cared for, we are following Jesus.

The road to recovery and away from stigma is paved by the humble support and strength of those who care about the least of these. Do your part and take it one step at a time. Your loved one needs you. The church needs every member to take part. We can’t beat around the bush anymore. Let’s talk about it, and more importantly, let’s do something about mental illness. We can’t afford not to.

 

About the author: Author of a memoir about psychiatric hospitalizations and her faith, Katie Dale is no stranger to the storms of serious mental illness. She advocates online at KatieRDale.com for Serious Brain Disorders.  She blogs, speaks, and shares her story with others wherever she can. When she’s not doing that, she’s getting creative in her freelance business. She’s mom to one child on earth and one in heaven and wife to her hero in uniform.  Katie currently resides in Florida.

 

 

Link Up Time

 

Now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

 

Two bloggers spoke straight into my One Word Focus for the year last week.  Paula of Simply Coffee and Jesus with Rest for Our Journey and Michele Morin with Are You Looking for a Way to a Destination Called Peaceful Rest.  Thank you ladies for teaching me as you link up with Grace and Truth.

 

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

To find some great places where I might be sharing this post, click here.

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Let’s Play

May 6, 2022 by Lauren 30 Comments

Let's playAre you wearing pants?  No, this is not the beginnings of an obscene phone call.  It’s National No Pants Day!  Are you celebrating?  I may or may not be bottomless right now, but either way, it’s okay!  Spring is in the air.  The temps are warmer and the days nicer.  Now, I’m a winter girl.  Sweatshirts and blankets and a nip in the air feed my soul.  In fact, I recently did a One Word challenge exercise describing my perfect day with my word.  I won’t bore you with all of it but it involved snow on the ground, a fuzzy blanket and a fire place in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho.  But I recently completed another writing exercise that had me singing about spring!  Let’s play!

 

A fellow blogger recommended Carrie Underwood’s book Find Your Path:  Honor Your Body, Fuel Your Soul, and Get Strong with the Fit52 Life.  I have been in the fitness profession for almost as many years as I wasn’t, so I’m not really looking for someone to design an exercise program for me or put me on a diet.  But the reviewer said just reading her personal stories motivated her and I need a little motivation to put my health first these days.

 

Carrie’s love of health and fitness is inspiring, but I found her journal prompts most interesting and helpful!  The very first one had me turning over spring and summer days of my childhood.  Such a simpler time when all I needed was my imagination and the great outdoors.  Maybe my free write will bring back pleasant memories for you too!

 

Prompt:  What are your earliest memories of physical activity?  Were you into sports?  Did you like to play outside?

Answer:  When my family lived on Rita Street, I climbed trees in the yard.  I probably wasn’t more than a few feet off the ground, but it felt dangerously high!  My Papa eventually built us a tree house over the sandbox.  It was simple – it didn’t even have walls or a roof – but we felt like the luckiest kids in the world.  My sisters and I decorated it and held club meetings that required a secret password.

 

The front legs of our metal swing set came up out of the ground if we swung high enough.  It felt like the whole thing could topple over.  The perceived danger make it more fun.  When I got my swing going as high as I could, I liked to jump out while singing the theme song from “The Greatest American Hero” TV show.  “Believe it or not, I’m walking on air.  I never thought I could feel so free!  Flying away on a wing and a prayer.  Who could it be?  Believe it or no, it’s just me.”  For the 2 seconds I was in the air I moved my legs as fast as I could to mimic walking on air.  And I did feel free!

 

I loved to play in the dirt.  I liked to dig worms out of the ground almost as much as I liked to pick cicada shells off the trees and plants to collect in a bucket.  The mud pies I made in my sandbox/ pretend restaurant were the tastiest in town.  I know my mom appreciated the storage room that sat between the backyard and our house.  At the end of a day’s play, she would often step out the kitchen door and have us strip off our filthy clothes before setting foot inside.  If we had turned the water hose on in the sandbox, she might use it to hose us off as well.

 

Our little yellow house sat catty corner from the high school’s tennis courts.  My sisters and I loved to snap our metal roller skates onto our tennis shoes and skate around and around on that smooth concrete.  Our best friend Jennifer from across the street came too.  She had the pretty white traditional skates with colored pompoms on them.  We weren’t jealous, though.  Much.

 

We also invited Jennifer to play badminton or croquet in the back yard.  I’m sure the equipment came from a garage sale, but we didn’t care.  We also rode our bikes all over the neighborhood.  We often picked up more friends from other girl named streets like Joyce and Scarlett.  The developer named all the streets after his daughters.  I loved to explore and pick up speed with freedom and a breeze for wings.

 

I came to organized sports a little later than most of my friends.  My twin sister and I asked to play little league softball in the 4th grade because our friends did.  We had a learning curve to catch up to the others.  This is probably the first memory I have of competition and comparison.  Sports didn’t come easy to me but I loved being active and a team dynamic.  I would go on to try my hand at volleyball, basketball and track before graduating into the real world.

 

No matter what I did outside, the best part was running in the house to stand in front of the window air conditioning unit to cool off.  Nothing ever felt better.  I’m still convinced.  I would stand there as long as my mom would let me.  She would eventually tell us to quit hogging the AC.  We would get a drink or a snack and then head back out again.

 

All this nostalgia makes me wistful for play.  At what age do we decide it’s unnecessary?  I know I do a horrible job of incorporating it into my days.  And I’m sure I’d be a lot better for it.  My idea of play may not include worms anymore.  (If you like worms, you do you!)  But it probably would include being outside.  While it’s true I am an avid indoorsman now, I think I’d do well to shake up my routine.  Especially in the spring.

 

“Those who play rarely become brittle in the face of stress or lose the healing capacity for humor.” -Stuart Brown, MD

 

And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

 

I have been journaling lately and it has been so revelatory, so Michele Morin’s post Journal Keeping as a Tactic for Self Awareness and God Awareness was so helpful to me.  I pray it will be for you too.

 

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

To find some great places where I might share this post, click here.

 

Share this:

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  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
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  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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