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Learning to Lament

February 14, 2019 by Lauren 36 Comments

The weight of this sad time we must obey;

Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.  – William Shakespeare, King Lear

 

This blog has been a place of processing, learning and growing through the hardships and trials of the last two years.  And two weeks ago, I shared that I was in a new place – a better one – even if my footing still felt a little fragile.  So when Tyndale House Publishers graciously provided me a copy of The Louder Song:  Listening for Hope in the Midst of Lament by Aubrey Sampson, it piqued my interest.  But my honest thought was that I didn’t really need this as my disposition toward God and my family’s situation was improved.  But I was wrong.  I needed the truths of this book.  And if you don’t currently need this message, at some point you will.

 

I now agree with the author 100% when she wrote, “In my youthful naivete’ I believed that hardships were supposed to be the exception to life, not the rule.  But suffering is not an exception, after all.  It’s not a surprise.  It’s not an interruption to an otherwise easy life.  The older I get, the more I realize that no person is untouched by some level of pain and heartache, big or small.”  I believe we, the global church, have a skewed idea of what it means to “Rejoice in the Lord always“.  And because of it, we are uncomfortable with pain and grief – our own and that of other people.  Laments are an overlooked form of prayer and worship.  In studying the laments of the Bible (Job, David, Jeremiah and more), we learn that laments bridge the gap between “current hopelessness and coming hope”.  There’s hope because “we don’t lament to a void.  We lament to the God who wants our laments.”

 

What is lament?  A pouring out of our hearts to God.  It’s an invitation to stop pretending we don’t suffer, to stop avoiding our big feelings and let go of control.  Most believers in Jesus Christ, and even some non-believers know that God is not an agent of pain, evil or death.  But in this broken world, we need to be able to admit that it’s often hard to make sense of a God who is able to stop pain, evil or death and sometimes doesn’t.  So how are these types of questions…the “why’s?”, the “how longs?”, the “where are you’s?” worship?  Because we still take them to God.  “Lament is the art of trusting God no matter what he gives, no matter what he takes.” 

When we cry out to God, we trust Him with our feelings, even as we struggle to trust Him with the circumstance. 

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“You get to feel what you feel and don’t have to try to force yourself to transcend the moment as you lament.  In fact, you don’t have to do much; just let him love you – you and all your mixed emotions, too.  God’s love will transform you.”

 

God is big enough to handle our doubts and frustrations.  He isn’t one bit threatened.  He created our finite minds, in fact.  It’s true that He wants our worship, but not just for worship sake.  He wants us to come to revere Him and honor Him because we know Him and His character.  That takes experience with Him and it means relationship with Him.  “If we never acknowledge our pain to God, we will never truly know what it means to praise him on the other side of suffering.  It is in our honest crying out to God about our pain that our worship of God grows more authentic…Lament is part of the rhythm of a deepening relationship with him.”

 

True confession:  When I read non-fiction books, I never read the questions in the back of the book that are sometimes included for groups.  This subject matter was so interesting to me that I read and wrote out answers to every one.  I found catharsis and incredible wisdom – even in the appendix.  I am not overstating the importance of this book to say when I say that I feel much better equipped to handle my pain and the pain of others after spending time between these pages.

 

*As a reminder, all links are affiliate links and if you purchase anything after clicking on them, I will receive a small commission to help with the costs of operating this blog at no additional cost to you.  Thank you in advance.  

 

 

 

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A Monthly Muster for January

February 1, 2019 by Lauren 26 Comments

The space around me feels different than it did when I started 2019.  Not where I want to be, but maybe my feet are at least facing the right general direction.  So all day long I have been replaying the events of this month and analyzing my head space and thought that maybe you, my online friends, might benefit from some of the things that are slowly starting to turn me around.

 

To some, and sometimes to me, it appears that all we have been doing in the Sparks household is volleyball.  That’s low-key true.  Practices and carpools and tournaments take up more time and money than I prefer this time of year.  But it is a joy to support my daughter and watch her team’s heart and hustle.  Let me tell you what I observed last weekend.  There is not a super-star on this team.  (I apologize now if you are a parent of one of these girls and thought your child was it.)  We play lots of teams that have a stand-out baller or two, and they are impressive.  And our girls definitely display different strengths and weaknesses – some better at certain skills than others. Above all, though, these teammates ENJOY each other.  This translates to some excellent teamwork that is sometimes able to best a more talented team.  Maybe there’s a life lesson hiding in there…

 

We traveled for a family funeral right after the new year.  The service was touching and even funny, as was Grannie.  And although some tears were shed, we celebrated a long and fruitful life.  I got to see family I don’t see often enough and was reminded how important they all are to me.  The time I get to spend with my family is life-giving.  I cherish them – from the newest baby to my 90 year old PawPaw.  And along family lines, Chuck and I celebrated 20 years of marriage.  We didn’t get to travel back to our Hawaiian honeymoon spot like we dreamed of as newlyweds, but we got to be together – and being with him is my greatest gift.

 

Our daughter Allie attended a youth retreat weekend at our church and invited 5 friends to join her!  Two of those precious friends make decisions to live their lives for Jesus.  The worship and preaching and serving is all my girl has been able to talk about!  I remember those mountaintop experiences and the uncomplicated faith of childhood.  My older, weathered heart knows that many challenges and difficulties lay ahead for Allie and her friends.  Yet, I praise Him for the belief and conviction and hope they have right now.  These are the roots that, with prayer and tending, will grow deep and keep them grounded in Christ during the storms that come.

 

During my personal study time with God I have been reading Is the Bible Good for Women?:  Seeking Clarity and Confidence Through a Jesus-Centered Understanding of Scripture by Wendy Alsup.  If you have studied the Bible more than a day, you know there are passages that are hard to understand – unless you think it’s totally normal that a woman be forced to marry her rapist.  Little things like that.  This book sheds some cultural light on issues surrounding women at that time by using the Bible as a commentary on itself.  I’m also reading The Louder Song:  Listening for Hope in the Midst of Lament by Aubrey Sampson.  I am learning so much about the almost lost art of lament and how it is as much a part of worship as praise.  Look for a review of this one soon.  And…I’m thinking a light-hearted novel may need to find it’s way to my nightstand next!

 

For visual entertainment, my sweetheart and I saw The Upside at the movie theater.  It was less sad and more funny than I expected.  At home, our daughter talked us into All Summer’s End.  I honestly couldn’t find much redeeming about it and even she didn’t like it.  We also stumbled across the series Sun Records, that you can stream on Amazon – a 9 episode scripted drama about the early days of the Memphis music scene featuring Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and others.  Don’t watch it unless you want Blue Moon of Kentucky as an ear worm.

 

2019 Planner

To finish, I’ll tell you about a gift from a sweet friend and a sweet snack.  A Christian planner similar to the one pictured here is really helping with my new goal of writing out a bible verse of God’s promises and reminders of all the ways He is sweet to me.  And this 2 ingredient snack (just bananas and cinnamon) satisfies my sweet tooth enough to help me clean up my eating habits. 

 

It’s the little things…On to February!

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*As a reminder, all links are affiliate links.  If you purchase these, or any products using my link, I will receive a small commission, at no extra charge to you, to help offset the costs of operating this site.  Thank you in advance.*

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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