Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around on his wheel!  Moving so fast and never getting anywhere.  My days full of mundane routines as I run my legs off in the same ‘ole circle.  I wake up with aches and pains that never seem to improve.  I attend to my family’s needs – breakfasts, medicines, coffee (for the hubs), clothes and backpacks.  After getting everyone else off, I exercise and work.  Then when school lets out I step back into the caretaker role, overseeing chores, snacks and homework.  I shuttle Shelby to therapies and Allie to practices and activities.  After dinner, we start the process of winding everyone down in the hopes of a decent bedtime.  I fret over how much sleep Shelby will get and whether she will have any seizures.  Throw in an occasional meeting or appointment and that draws a pretty accurate picture of my days.  After a good night’s sleep (in my dreams – see what I did there?), it starts all over again.

The weekends feel a little more like a carousel than a gerbil wheel.  The extra time off from work gives us a little more fluidity.  Chuck and I might squeeze in a date or the whole family could see a movie.  Maybe we get the chance to see some family.  I occasionally treat myself to a massage or a shopping excursion.  Don’t get me wrong, there are rarely big surprises.  We are still running in the same circle, but it has the potential to be more enjoyable.

Before you start to feel sorry for me and my boring life, let me tell you about who I get to live it with.  I have 2 beautiful girls who, at times, cannot get enough of me.  They love to hug and kiss and cuddle (how lucky is that?).  I have a sharp step-son who has blessed me with precious grandkids.  I have friends who encourage me and pray for me, and occasionally even hang out if I beg.  And I have a husband who loves me well.  So much better than I deserve.

Above all else, I have the love of my Savior.  It doesn’t really matter if my day is a jambalaya filled with spicy variety or a bland broth, I get to live it heart to heart with the Creator of the universe.  Even when the order of my day feels “rather, rinse, repeat”, His mercies are new every morning.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

I was listening to a podcast yesterday, as humble as can be, when I was forced to admit that I really didn’t understand humility.  The previously recorded lesson from the high school minister at my church (yes, I listen to sessions for the youth group because this guy can PREACH), was actually about Living for Jesus – not humility.  And yet God showed me what He wanted me to see.  I LOVE it when He does that.

I heard the words of Philippians 2:3.  “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;”  Now, for the sake of my point, I’m going to ignore the first 4 words.  I mean, who can successfully do NOTHING from selfishness.  I think it would be safe to say that unselfishness will take a lifetime of practicing for all of us.  (At least I don’t think it’s just me).  But looking at the rest of the verse, I believe I could humbly say that I’ve got this humility thing in the bag!  I mean, there isn’t a conceited bone in my body.  All that and a bag of chips?  How about the 5 bags of chips I have eaten this week while supposedly on a diet (I mean, “healthy lifestyle plan”).  And how about when I yelled at my daughter this morning.  And how about the messiness of some of my relationships?  If I should brag about anything, it might be that I am the world’s BEST at dissing myself.  I have no delusions of grandeur.  It’s an extremely rare occurrence when I EVER compare myself to someone else and declare that I am the winner!  That just doesn’t happen.  So I’m feeling OK about this whole “humility thing”.  Moving on to verse 4 of Philippians Chapter 2.  “do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”  Huh.  That doesn’t seem so tough.  I intercede for others in prayer.   I do a LOT for my kids.  I try to pick out thoughtful gifts for birthdays and Christmas.  I volunteer at church and in the community.  I do my best to attend to my husband’s needs.  And the verse doesn’t say I CAN’T look out for me.  It just says I have to INCLUDE others.  I was feeling pretty good about this as well, UNTIL…

God challenged me to put that passage to the test by combining the two ideas from those verses.  So the way I read verse 3 was, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another’s interests as more important than your own.”  What if I didn’t just CONSIDER the interests of my friends, family and acquaintances, but prioritized them above me own.  Whoa.  It just got real up in here.  That commandment just went from somewhat vague to very specific.  Now, please hear me say that I don’t believe for a second that God’s Word needs to be altered.  And even if it did, I am certainly not qualified.  But I simply felt, in that moment, God nudging me to dig deeper into what “regarding one another as more important than yourselves” really means.  To take the concept of “humility” and put legs to it.  I mean, I enjoy meeting the needs of others – when it’s not TOO inconvenient for me.  When it fits in my schedule.  But, what would it look like if I not only THOUGHT you were more important than me, but put actions behind it?  Praying for a friend’s crisis could take priority over those few extra minutes of sleep in the morning.  Reading a book with my child might delay catching up with the latest episode of Downton Abby (that one stung a little to type).  I could save the money I use to get my nails done and help sponsor a missionary or a child thru Compassion Intl.  I wouldn’t hesitate to cook a meal for an injured friend – even if it meant an extra trip to the grocery store this week.  Humility might start to look like changing plans, rearranging schedules or even rebudgeting (is that a word?).

How much more would I look like Jesus if what I want truly became secondary to what others want? What kind of love would the world see?  It is blowing my mind to think about it.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Col 3:12 NIV (All other references are from the NASB)