Lauren Sparks

The Sparks Notes

In Middle School, Middle Earth and Middle Age

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Photo by William Cavanah on Flickr

“We are always one flesh wound away from our middle school insecurities.”  -Kay Wyma

 

Mini-school night.  This is the middle school version of Open House – at least for our school district.  A week or two after school starts, parents are invited to walk their child’s schedule, complete with class beginning and ending bells.  Between bells, we parents spend roughly 8 minutes meeting each of our darling’s new teachers for the school year.  This is a ginormous beating.  You can’t find a place to park, you can’t find your spawn’s classes and you’ll be lucky if you can find your sanity by the end of the evening.  And yet I go every year.  At this stage in my daughter’s education, it may be the only time I lay eyes on some of her teachers.

 

As I moved from class to class at this year’s mini-school, I anxiously looked for a familiar face before choosing a seat.  That’s all it took to mentally transport me back to the awkwardness of my own teenage years.  The insecurity of growing curves and actually needing a bra before any of my friends.  The other girls still looked like sticks, so in my eyes, curves = fat.  At almost my full-grown height, I felt like a lumberjack with permed hair and the genesis of an acne problem.  The weird new feelings for boys increased my self-conscious insecurity.  Growing up and apart from my childhood friends added loneliness to the parcel of new and excruciating feelings.  Mix in my propensity to wear the ketchup or gravy served with most cafeteria lunches and it’s a wonder I escaped Jr. High with any semblance of dignity.

 

A couple of weeks after mini-school, I signed up for a new Bible study with a friend at a neighboring church.  My friend had an appointment the very first day and let me know she would be late.  Walking into the huge room filled with 200 women – not knowing if I would recognize a soul – gave me that middle-school feeling once again.  As a middle-aged, happily-married mother of 2, I kinda expected to be well passed the “will I fit in?” and “who will be my friend?” apprehensions.  But I still get blemishes, (How unfair is it to have pimples and wrinkles at the same time?)  so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  Self-doubt still comes out to play at the most inopportune times.

 

To be truthful, I am nothing special in and of myself.  But my Savior is something very special.  So when I’m uneasy or feeling fragile, I like to remind myself of what He says about me.

 

  1.  When I feel like a dork, God says I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  (Psalm 139:14)
  2. When I’m needy, He reminds me that He supplies all my needs. (Philippians 4:19)
  3. When I’m struggling to belong, it helps to remember I’m a citizen of heaven.  (Philippians 3:20)
  4. When the last thing I feel is confident, Ephesians 3:12 says I have confident access to the God of the universe.
  5. As I dab concealer on a breakout, I’m reminded that in Christ I am holy and unblemished. (Ephesians 1:4)
  6. Even if I’m left out by friends, God chose me as His special possession.  (1 Peter 2:9)
  7. When the fat pants make an appearance and my hair won’t cooperate, God says He created me in His image (Genesis 1:27)
  8. When everyone else’s talents seem bigger and more significant than mine, I can read in God’s word that I am His handiwork, created in Christ to do GOOD work. (Ephesians 2:10)
  9. And lastly, the Bible counters those times I just feel all wrong (don’t tell me I’m the only one).  I am not only right, I am the righteousness of God.  (2 Corinthians 5:21)

Do you remember the pimply, permed girl from middle school?

If God can transform me and use me, He can do the same for anyone.

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 Do you know His son Jesus, who makes these 9 things true of me?  If you aren’t sure, I would love to tell you about him.  Jump over to the comments page of my blog and you can send a completely private message to me there.  I would be so pleased to have coffee, lunch or a phone call with you.  And in the mean time, keep rocking’.  Sorry.  That flashback brought to you by adolescent PTSD.

The Law and the Gospel

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Photo by Blake Cheek for Unsplash

My friend Stacey Cartlidge, a licensed professional counselor, wrote this compelling and encouraging piece and graciously agreed to let me post it here.  As you will quickly discern, she is much smarter than me so I could not wait to share this with you.  I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments so we can spur Stacey on and thank her for being a guest blogger here!

 

Deuteronomy 32:48-52 – “The LORD spoke to Moses that very same day, saying, ‘Go up to this mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab opposite Jericho, and look at the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the sons of Israel for a possession. Then die on the mountain where you ascend, and be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother died on Mount Hor and was gathered to his people, because you broke faith with Me in the midst of the sons of Israel at the waters of Meribah-kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, because you did not treat me as holy in the midst of the sons of Israel. For you shall see the land at a distance, but you shall not go there, into the land which I am giving the sons of Israel.’”

 

Did you ever think, “Poor Moses! Of all the people entering in to the promise land wouldn’t he deserve to go in the most? Why is he denied entrance because of one sin, when the rest of the people are so much worse than him?” Maybe it’s to show that all of us are equally undeserving, even the people who look like they’ve lived their life for God and done so many good works. That it’s just as much a gift for them as it is for us. And that if we are trusting in our own goodness to get into heaven, even the best of us will fall short.

 

Moses represents the Law. Joshua represents the Savior. Moses led the Israelites to the promised land, but it was Joshua that took them in so that they possessed it.

 

The Law (Moses) can lead us to see our need for forgiveness, it can show us the kingdom of heaven (promised land), but it isn’t our salvation. It can never take us all the way in; it always stops short. The Law says, “You are on the outside but look and see the pleasant beautiful land on the other side.” The Law shows us something better, makes us long for it, and makes us regret our sin and our state of fallenness, but still it just leaves us on the outside looking in.

 

As Moses represents the Law, Joshua is a picture of Christ. Joshua means “The Lord saves” and is the same name in Hebrew as Jesus is in Greek. Joshua/Christ does what the law could never do and takes us in to the promised land. Not the “earned” or “deserved land” but the promised land. The validity of a promise is dependent on the one making the promise, not the one receiving the promise. So fulfillment does not depend on our achievement but God’s execution of His own promise.

 

We need both the Law and Gospel. But so many times we settle for just the Law.

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It’s seductive in a way – in our corrupt nature we look at it as it dangles the good life before us like a prize, if we would only work harder, do more, and be perfect we could have everything we want. But we are better helped if we allow it bring us to grief over our sin, the result of which is humility and surrender to God’s grace.

 

And isn’t John the Baptist sort of like a new testament Moses? He comes first, prepares the way, makes straight the way of the Lord with a message of repentance but he himself can’t save. He proclaims to his disciples, “Behold the Lamb of God!” and the disciples leave John and follow Jesus. The Law says, “You can’t keep it perfectly or even come close. But there is someone who can, and who did. Behold the Lamb of God.” John’s message was simple: “You are sinners. You need a Savior. There He is.”

 

“John testified about Him and cried out, saying, ‘This is He of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has a higher rank than I, for He existed before me.’ For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.” John 1:15-17.

 

Where are you on this journey? Are you outside looking in? Are you fretting and striving to be good enough and hating yourself when you fall short? You can cling to your efforts to earn God’s love and acceptance, but that path leaves you on the outside looking in. You can spend decades, your whole life, in the mud-bog of pride trying desperately to clean yourself up, only to find you are just as covered in mud as you have ever been. Jesus, our Joshua holds open the door and says, “Come in, child.”

 

As Lewis said, “We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal think is to lose one’s temper and give it up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence.”

 

Let the Law show you the dirt in your life, but don’t stop there. Let it lead you home to His Joshua heart, where every tear, stain, and bit of mud is washed away in His love and His Grace.

 

 

 

 

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