Lauren Sparks

The Sparks Notes

And So We Part with October

by 40 Comments

Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash

It’s finally starting to feel like fall here in the South.  And I’d like to start my monthly muster by telling you another way (besides the cooler air) that God showed His kindness to us.  Believe it or not, it involves helping someone move.  During the last two and a half years, my hard-working husband experienced some pretty intense and repeated job upheaval, so the coffers are a little thinner than in previous years.  What we do have, though, is an extra vehicle because the hubs now has a work truck.  So we have two full size pick up trucks.  And God has provided multiple ways for us to be generous with this truck when we can’t be generous with funds.  So kind.

 

Chuck and I got dressed up to finally attend the Double Down for Dravet, a fundraiser for the Dravet Syndrome Foundation.  Spending time with fellow families and hearing one of our favorite docs talk about how close we are to a cure for the condition my daughter suffers from made for a great night.  My daughter also had her first high school homecoming.  For those of you not from Texas, that is a mum she has tied around her neck.  I don’t know how to describe it exactly except to say it is a thing.  If you like to laugh while you learn, my friend Heather wrote a great post about homecoming mums here.

 

My best friend flew in for a weekend we have been looking forward to for six months.  We did a wood sign painting class, watched Baylor (Sic ‘Em!) and Dallas football and went to a Popcast Live Show.  If you don’t listen to the Popcast podcast with Knox and Jamie, you are missing out on about 100 laughs a week.  My BFF and I connect across multiple states over this weekly ritual and the live version was, although more expensive, much more fun.  And I only cried a little when I put her back on the plane.

 

Allie had her first official high school choir concert and we are sooooo excited about her future her musical endeavors.  Shelby bowled in the Special Olympics area meet and brought home a bronze medal.  I think she likes the medals even more than the bowling.  Our church threw a 20th anniversary celebration for our neighborhood with food, games, rides, magic shows and an outdoor service.  After attending, serving and playing, we made an exhausted b-line to Sonic for Route 44’s.

 

I’m always happy to see the return of fall TV.   A new This is Us season always debuts the week of my birthday.  Because God is good.  We are trying a couple of new shows.  Bob hearts Abishola is a cute 30 minute sitcom and Almost Family fascinates me in a train wreck/can’t look away sort of thing.  Time for reading mostly eludes me.  I fall asleep entirely too quickly.  I did start Rosemary:  The Hidden Kennedy Daughter, but have yet to finish.  And I’ve been re-reading The Road Back to You:  An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery in order to lead a discussion of it with a group of friends.  The Enneagram is having a moment.  If you haven’t looked into all the fuss, I highly recommend this book.  I even wrote a review of it here.

 

I picked up a new snack on a whim while standing at the check out.  I couldn’t find the exact flavor online, but these are close.  These chips are yummy but the flavor is strong.  And there has not been a gum or mint yet invented that can handle the breath they left me with.  I had to basically start my day all over with a brush and floss!

 

The rest of our month feels like it took place in one doctor’s office or another.  Allie has continued follow up and therapy for her concussion and, although not fully released, is working diligently to catch up on the school work she missed while impaired.  Shelby moved to a less restrictive version of the drug trial she continues to benefit from.  Yay!  Chuck, now that he is 50, started his grown up journey to longevity by finally scheduling with a primary care doc.  A family member endured a big surgery (I don’t want to tell someone else’s story – hope you understand), and the whole family suffers from congestion and cough.

 

To finish the month on a fun note, the winner of the Quest Q and A Study Bible is Leslie Coffey!  Please check your email for details on getting your prize!  Thank you to all who subscribed to enter.  I hope you will stay for the fellowship.  And…I dressed up for Halloween with my co-workers.  Can you guess what I am?  Drop your comments below.  I know it’s punny, but I just can’t help myself.  And I love you, I thank you, and I hope November treats you well.

When You Can’t Turn Back Time with Your Teen

by 14 Comments

Image by Les Fisher

 

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.”  Psalms 127:3 NASB

 

I believe this to the depths of my being – most days.  If I am completely honest, it is often hard to “behold” this truth now that she is firmly ensconced in teenage angst.  The most difficult times?  When I “beholding” an empty wallet, when I “beholding” all of her  prized possessions I have found scattered around our house, when I “beholding” my temper while attempting to shop with her (I wrote about that here), or when I “beholding” my tongue while she sasses me or insists for the 187th time that she knows better than me.

 

Ugh.  If I could choose to only ever communicate 2 things to my 13 year old, I would let her know that #1 – she is wonderfully made by a Savior who adores her wants to be with her forever, and #2 – that her dad and I love her madly and are ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS in her corner.  What often comes out instead is some horribly timed and messy variation of, “why can’t you do better!?!”  I could crawl up in the fetal position to think of the ways my flesh gets the better of me and my words wound instead of heal.  But balling up with a gallon of Blue Bell (Come on now.  If I’m in the fetal position, there is ice cream involved.) won’t turn back time – as much as Cher might sing about it.  Hopefully I didn’t just give you the ear worm I now have.

 

The truth is, my kid is kinda over me.  She loves me because I’m her mom and I’m thankful I still get hugs and kisses, but she currently takes most of her cues from people other than me.  Willingly, at least.  She listens more to friends, youth ministers and other influencers than to her family.  I often imagine that she hears Charlie Brown’s teacher when I discuss something with her.  But even if she’s not as inclined to listen, I’m not done guiding her.  And I’m specifically not done filling her with the 2 important messages I listed above.  So I’m trying to get more creative in attempts to connect with her.

 

Here’s what I know.  Grand gestures embarrass her now.  I could spend a lot of money on taking her some place cool or buying her things.  She *might* have an appreciative reaction, or I *might* end up feeling unappreciated and dejected.  So I’m opting right now for small, repetitive tokens of my affection.  Here are the two things that seem to be working for me right now.

 

  1.  When I was in college, I decided it would be cool to have one more piercing in one ear than the other.  Asymmetrical ear holes was the extent of my “edge” back then (and maybe now).  So when I jewelry (can I use that as a verb?), I wear a pair of earrings and then one lone stud or small hoop.  My daughter’s middle name is Rose.  I have this Rose stud that reminds me of her every time I wear it.

In a Carol Burnett-esque move, I now tell her when I’m wearing it and will randomly touch it when I catch her eye – like              during choir performances and volleyball games and random Wednesdays.  She knows it means, “I’m behind you.  I’m here for you.”

 

2.  The second idea I stole from a fellow volleyball mom.  If you have ever been involved in club ball, tournament weekends are a marathon of watching and sitting and cheering.  Sometimes hours pass without time for meaningful conversation with my girl, so encouraging dialogue poses a challenge.  I often can’t remember what I walked into a room for, much less all the plays she made in the first game by the end of the day.  I’ve started doing this:

I open my text thread to her at the beginning of the game and keep a running commentary of every time she touches the ball or encourages a team mate.  As you can see, the feedback is not always glowing, but it’s mostly positive and lets her know that I see her.  And I’m proud of her no matter what.  She knows how closely I paid attention and she likes it!

 

Now have these gestures made our household a haven of sparkle unicorn bliss?  No.  She still has hormones and I still have a sinful nature.  But

when I have poured into her and she has felt and seen my love in tangible ways, we often have an extra patience pill for each other

Click To Tweet
when her room looks like a natural disaster or her tone implies that I am using my last living brain cell.

 

What creative ways do you connect with your teen?  I would love more ideas.  Comment on this post and be a part of the conversation!

 

 

Categories

Archives