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I Am Not Enough…and Grace and Truth Link Up

March 12, 2021 by Lauren 34 Comments

This past Monday the world observed International Women’s Day.  I know of and personally know many wonderful women worth celebrating.  And I’m thankful that women have and are fighting for equal rights and equal pay.  Women are just as worthy of success as anyone else with the same qualifications.  But I believe some messages of this movement miss the mark.  We (women and men) were not created to be completely independent of God or other people.

A simple google search of the phrase “I am enough” unearths multiple books, t-shirts, jewelry lines, canvas prints, a master class and a guided self-love meditation.  Self-help gurus shout from every platform, “I AM ENOUGH!”  “YOU ARE ENOUGH!”  In a world where every home improvement show and bikini-clad social media influencer nudges us toward comparison, it’s a nice thought.  But here’s the thing, it’s not true.

 

This message and the people spouting it are well-meaning, and very prevalent in this season.  The underlying message of building self-esteem, finding yourself worthy and loving who you are sounds good – even needed – in a climate of vicious bullying and cancel culture.  And yet the same people who tell us that we are inherently beautiful also want to sell us billions of dollars in diet programs and products and who-knows-how much in exercise equipment, apparel and gym memberships.  Also, we need to add to the Kardashian’s millions by using their cosmetic kits.  So which is it?  I am enough?  Or do I need all these things to make me better?

 

I would not dream of speaking for you, but I will tell you how I feel about myself.  Most definitely, I am NOT enough!  This will not be a popular sentiment, but I have not been, nor will I ever be in and of myself, enough!  If I measure myself against this world’s standards, there will always be someone smarter, prettier, more fit, more popular and who has nicer things!  So how could I possibly be satisfied navel-gazing at myself?  I can tell you without hesitation that I am not worthy, deserving or anywhere near perfect.  There is something in me that will always keep me from being enough.  But I am okay with that, because…

 

He is enough.

 

I don’t have to possess a supermodel’s body or perfectly symmetrical facial features.  Almighty God, with reverence, made me wonderful (Psalm 139:14)

 

Never will I be the strongest or the smartest.  That’s okay.  Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through him who gives me strength.”  And I might as well cease striving in my own power because apart from God’s Holy Son, Jesus, I can do nothing.  (John 15:5)

 

I don’t have to dot every i or cross every t.  Through Jesus, God forgives me for all my sins (Ephesians 1:7).  Jesus died so I won’t have to be “good enough” (Galatians 2:21).  I could never be righteous without His intervention.

 

As a middle aged, middle class woman, the probability of me gaining success according to our culture’s standards is low.  But because of God’s blessings, I “abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8).

 

I no longer feel the need to hide my imperfections, because God’s power shines brightest through my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

 

Whether or not I am in a romantic relationship or in the popular group, I am chosen and cherished by the Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:4, 1 Peter 2:9).

 

I could tell myself all day long that I’m enough.  But a part of me knows that something is missing without Jesus.  It’s not always easy to drown out the voices in my head and see myself the way God sees me.  The loud messages of the world don’t line up.  But the truth is…I can’t define my value.  God’s word already describes me as a beloved daughter of the King of all Kings.  What could be better than that?

 

And now for this week’s featured post!

 

AnnMarie of  busyblessedwomen.com wrote about The God Who Sees Me last week.  I didn’t realize how much I needed to explore this aspect of God’s character.  In a world that is so noisy, it can be hard to feel truly seen, truly known and loved.  But in God we are!  Thanks, AnnMarie, for linking up with Grace and Truth.

Grace and Truth_Rules

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace Truth_ButtonGrace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

 

 

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A Pause to Reflect

May 25, 2018 by Lauren 49 Comments

Photo by Jaletta

 

I’m taking a little pause (because a little one is all I have time for) in the midst of this last week of school to look back at where my girls have been and where they are going.

 

Shelby graduates in just 6 short days.  I wrote all about that and the festivities surrounding it here.  There’s something else that happened this week that I have’t talked about much, and is probably just as important to her future – if not more.  My husband and I went to court on Monday to secure guardianship of her.  Those of you in the special needs universe are probably somewhat acquainted with this process, but my friends with “typical” children usually have little idea what this is and why it’s even necessary.  Shelby turns 18 in July.  At that point in a person’s life, they should be able to see doctors, sign documents and make all manner of decisions without the hovering presence of a parent.  But not Shelby.  At developmentally 2 or 3 years of age, she remains fully dependent on her dad and me.  We felt it was necessary to, in essence, sue her to take her rights away.  We hired a lawyer, paid for a lawyer to represent her against us, endured home visits, filed extensive paperwork and gathered support for this case in order to protect her.  We were told that even with Shelby’s very limited capabilities, this ruling would not be a slam dunk.  The court, justifiably, doesn’t take away people’s rights lightly.  Without an official guardianship ruling, the chances are that any doctor, therapist or organization that currently knows us and works with her would continue to treat/help her.  But it might not be so easy once we have to transition to new “for adult” doctors for her or have to sign any legal documents pertaining to her care.  We personally didn’t want to leave anything about her well-being up to chance.

 

So we went to court.  In front of a scary, but fair judge in pursuit of official documents that would give us the right to make her decisions and sign for her.  It was granted smoothly and quickly.  God is so faithful.  After it was all over, our lawyer told us that she represented clients in a very similar situation just a week before and the hearing had lasted 4 hours.  And after that 4 hours, the judge simply took the case under advisement.  I’m glad the attorney waited to share that bit of intel.  I’m not sure how I would have handled being put through that ringer and going home with no real answers.  I’m so grateful our case was clean and straight forward – or as much so  as it could have been.  We got just what we needed.  And I waited until we got out of the courtroom, spoke with our attorney, rode the elevator down stairs and got all the way out of the building onto the street before bursting into tears.  And the tears flowed for 30 minutes.  We did the right thing, but it wasn’t an easy thing.  The lump I’m getting in my throat again right now reminds me of the gravity of it all.  I cried for the “grown up” that Shelby will never get to be.  I cried that we, or someday some else, will always make her decisions.  I cried for the college she will never go to, the independence she will never achieve, and the supervision she will always have.  I cried that she will never say “I do” or give birth to a child who would call me “Lolli”.  Of course, I knew ALL of these things before the court officially declared it.  But the hearing brought all of that grief to the surface.  So the healthy thing for me to do was cry.  And let myself cry as long as I needed to.  And then I thanked God for how very good He is – even in the hard things.

 

Allie is wrapping up what was, for me, the hardest year of my life (until 2017 which you can get an overview of here).  I cried through all of 7th grade as I tried to adjust to hormones and big feelings and being part child, part woman.  So many changes.  Allie seems to have fared it much better.  My youngest child is a straight A student with a beautiful singing voice who played 3 sports.  Mood swings aside, she’s pretty awesome, and beautiful to look at I might add.  And yet in this uber competitive environment we live in, she still gets so discouraged and feels like she doesn’t measure up.  My heart breaks to hear her express these insecurities.  But out of all the things she does well, there are two things this year that make me prouder than them all.  1.  Two of the coaches at her volleyball club have gone out of the way to tell me more than once that Allie has the best attitude and is so much fun to coach because if it.  That may seem like little consolation to her as friends with more private lessons or natural ability are afforded opportunities she is not.  She may not be the star, but a positive, encouraging attitude will take her much farther than her jump serve.  2.  As much as she loves her friends, her faith means even more.  She has chosen to be very involved in Students Standing Strong – a bible study club that meets before school – even though none of her friends wanted to go.  And she chose to be a part of a mission team preparing to go to Honduras this summer – even though none of her church friends were going.  I’m not sure I was mature enough at her age to go against the crowd.  And in both situations, she has formed new friendships with older kids not a part of her same grade circle.  Her willingness to put Jesus first makes her amazeballs in my book.  And my use of “amazeballs” makes me a dork, but whatevs.

 

That’s what I’ve been thinking about as school winds to a halt.  But it’s time to push “play” again on this momentous week.  We press on to finish the year strong.  Or hobble across the finish line.  Either way, we wrap up in just a few days.  In the words of that great theologian Madea, “Hallelujer”!

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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