My mom gave my husband a letter after he proposed to me. Instead of trying to explain it, I think quoting a small snippet from the note will make more sense:

 

Dearest Chuck,

Lauren has chosen you as her knight in polished armor. I purposely used polished and not shining. Shining could mean new – untested, but you do not fit that description. As we shared with you when you asked for Lauren’s hand in marriage, we were concerned at first about Lauren’s future with you; but after the times of visiting and sharing your heart with us, we now believe you have worked very hard to allow God to shine your armor until it is polished and ready for a new life with our daughter.

 

As someone who had already experienced divorce, Chuck initially thought of himself as too broken for our union, but my parents put him at ease with how God had made him not only suitable, but stronger than ever for the years ahead. Chuck embraced the analogy of the polished armor and I loved the romantic notion of his being my knight. The metaphor falls apart, though, if it requires me to be a spectating damsel.

 

While I was searching through old mementos to find the letter from my mom, I found one written by Chuck to me:

 

Hi Love,

Tomorrow we go into battle for our sweet daughter. We have battled many times for her. I would go to battle with no one else! I love our adventurous never boring world.

I am able to do so much more in all areas because I feel love and support from you! I am again just thankful, thankful, thankful that you are my parenting partner and champion for our girls.

You make me better.

 

This letter isn’t dated so I can’t honestly tell you I know what it was about. We have been through so much with our oldest. We could have been on the precipice of a surgery, a lifestyle altering diet, a drug trial or starting a non-FDA approved medication. The details of the battle aren’t as important as the fact that we were fighting together.

 

I once heard someone say that

That would have made no sense to the starry-eyed romantic who got to drive off into the sunset with her knight, but 20 years later, I know it to be true. In addition to the all out war we have waged against our daughter’s Dravet Syndrome, we have joined forces against the landmines created by a blended family, financial struggles, job changes, moves, surgeries, cancer, extended family drama , parenting and our own sin and depravity. There’s no one else I’d rather have in my foxhole.

 

There are many romantic things I could say about my husband on our 20th wedding anniversary. He is kind, loyal, hardworking, loving, strong, smart, God-honoring and easy on the eyes. But I’d like to highlight his heroism and outstanding service in the battles of life. With him and our Heavenly Father, I don’t fear the enemy, and the skirmishes are conquerable.

 

On this milestone, my promise for the future is that I will never stop fighting with and for my knight in polished armor.

 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV