Last week I used misheard lyrics to illustrated a point about God’s character and promises to us.  Thanks to the magic of Google, we can now look up the words to any song if it’s meaning isn’t clear.  But back in ye olden days of telephone cords and crimping irons, we only knew the real lyrics with confidence if we bought the cassette tape with the paper insert.

 

We couldn’t buy every single album of every song we liked.  Even in the opulence of the 80’s we didn’t have that kind of cash.  So we translated our music the best we could.  When I polled my friends and family for their best misheard lyrics to make my point, I laughed until tears ran down my leg.  I knew I had to share this sheer delight with you.  So if you came looking for spiritual enlightenment today, I apologize for disappointing you.  But if you could use belly laughs (and who can’t in our current climate), read on.

 

Not every musical error will jive with you, but I’ll provide links to help you find the songs you don’t know.  The funniest ones are the songs you know well.  And in an effort to be a little spiritual, I’ve divided them into two categories – 1.  hymns/ praise music and 2.  everything else.  Enjoy.

 

Hymns/ Praise Music

 

1.  I have a feeling there are other kids raised on the Baptist Hymnal that feel me on this one.  The song:  There is a Balm in Gilead.  Well, I didn’t know how a bomb was going to “heal the sin sick soul”, but I swore that’s what we sang.  Even if you know the song you may want to click the link and hear the great Mahalia Jackson belt it out.
2. One of my high school church choir directors submitted “What a Friend We Have in Cheeses”.  I am glad the friend is actually Jesus because I love cheese a whole lot more than it loves me.
3. Someone shared with me on FB that she always thought the praise song God is on the Move said that He was on the roof.  Well, the Bible tells us he’s everywhere…
4. A neighbor told me when the prolific Amy Grant sang “Stand up and sing one more hallelujah”, he always heard, “Come on and sing Wilma hallelujah”.  He claims to have even rewound and listened to it over and over again!  Maybe Mrs. Flintstone was into the praise and worship genre?  I wouldn’t blame her.  We wore that song out at our house.

 

Everything Else

 

1.  Will Smith’s funky dance anthem, Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It becomes a completely different kind of dance as “Kick a Chicken With It”.
2. Speaking of kicking, let’s kick it way back to 1965, with Herman’s Hermits singing A Must to Avoid.  Must husband’s sweet aunt Barbara thought the line, “She’s a must to avoid” was “She’s a muscular boy”.  In either case, I would stay away.
3.  A co-worker always sang Sade’s Smooth Operator as “Sue Barbarado”.  Admit it.  If you know that song, you just sang those words.
4. To a former aerobics student of mine, ACDC’s Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap got a gentler, kinder makeover with “Dirty knees in my dungarees”.
5. My childhood neighbor brought a more recent tune to play.  Attention by Charlie Puth starts with “You’ve been running ’round, running ’round running ’round, throwing that dirt all on my name”.  But she heard, “throwing that turtle on my knee”.  Poor turtle.
6. A fellow mom from my daughter’s school thought Janet Jackson wanted to take her on an ice capade instead of Escapade.
7. Billy Idol’s (somewhat creepy in my opinion) Eyes Without a Face sounded more like “How’s about a date?” to one online friend.
8. Adele’s Chasing Pavements sounds a lot more fun as “Chasing Penguins”.
9. Hall and Oates sang about a brutal woman in Maneater.  I’m not sure what’s worse, if she ripped my “world apart” or ripped my “butt apart”.
10. Green Day’s When I Come Around begged, “I’ve heard it all before, so don’t knock down my door.”  “Sell donuts at my door” sounds a little sweeter (get it?).
11. There are lots of misunderstood words in Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit, but my favorite might be “Here we are now, in containers” for the actual, “Here we are now, entertain us”.
12. The Eurythmics told us, “Sweet dreams are made of this”, but one friend’s dreams were made of cheese!  I have to admit I may have dreamed of cheese a time or two.
13. As youngster, I liked the theme song for The Golden Girls.  The sentiment of ride or die friendship resonated with me until the part that said, “And the heart attack would say, ‘Thank you for being a friend.'”  A card with that message makes more sense.
14. In the early, early 80’s Foreigner sang about love being “Urgent“.  A girlfriend of mine thought they said “virgin”.  And crazy enough, I don’t think this substitution changes the meaning of the song!
15. 10 years later, R.E.M. sang about losing religion with the chorus, “That’s me in the corner.  That’s me in the spotlight.”  An online friend mistakenly heard, “Let’s pee in the corner.  Let’s pee in the spotlight.”  If you pee in a spotlight, I might lose my religion!

I have many more, but I might need to go change my pants.  So I think I’ll save them for another post.  But let’s keep the laughter going.  Do you have a mistaken lyric to share with us?  Drop it in the comments below.

 

And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

 

My consequence is sleepless nights.  Hers was headaches.  I want to share from Barb at mylifeinourfathersworld.com because I don’t believe we are the only ones suffering physical symptoms from lack of peace and trust in God.  Read Under Pressure and let it encourage you.

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate)

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
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HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
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LAUREN SPARKS
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