At well over a month now of forced isolation, I’m feeling the need to break out of my shell and share something different. Any Office fans out there? Anyone become an Office fan in the last few weeks with time on your hands? I have to admit I have probably only ever watched two episodes of The Office ever. I know I said ever twice but I wanted to reiterate. So when I read about a contest for super fans to apply for an Office related job, it didn’t seem like a good fit. But I applied anyway.
The job? Binge watch 45 episodes of the show in just a few days. The pay? $1,000. Sitting in my favorite chair and watching TV for money sounded like something I could get behind. So I wrote an essay, which I never intended to share here. But all the iconic show quotes in it make me giggle. And I thought you might need a giggle too right about now. So here it is:
To be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of The Office, but I want to be. And since Power Points are the peacocks of the business world, I will try to convince you in words why you should still select me. But maybe without too many different words coming at you from too many different sentences. Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope to find it along the way. But first, here’s a little background, because I know exactly what to do to plead my case. But in a much more real sense, I have no idea what to do. However, according to the great Wayne Gretsky, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” So here goes.
For whatever reason, I did not start watching the show when it debuted and didn’t want to start watching in the middle once the hype reached a fever pitch. Yes, I guess I’m a bandwagoner. And now that I could start from the beginning on Netflix, my husband and I are too cheap to subscribe! We occasionally do a free one-month trial to catch a few movies or the latest season of The Crown, but never chose The Office. I knew we would never get through the whole thing in one month (I mean we do have jobs and kids and stuff!).
That’s the sob story, but here is how I really feel about the show. I have caught a few episodes in syndication and totally identify with the sense of humor. The writing is perfectenschlag. The episode about sexual harassment training is funny enough to make a recently sentenced Harvey Weinstein giggle.
In addition to how much I think I would enjoy watching The Office, I could also really use the money. You don’t have to get out the violin to play along with my tail of woe. (Ok maybe that’s an exaggeration. A mini-woe, if you will.) I won’t bore you with it. But I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working. And getting paid a grand to watch 45 episodes seems like hardly working. I’m so good at watching TV that I can do it on the couch…sans pants…while eating cheeseballs. AND stay safe from COVID-19 at the same time!
If I believed that mo’ money creates mo’ problems, I would not bother to write to you. I have a plethora of problems this money could solve. I have my doubts that you will select me. Like Kelly, I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl. But I just had to shoot my shot. So don’t be afraid of how much you love me. I’m the best specimen in the human zoo. Pick me! You won’t be sorry. Or maybe you will. But I won’t!
I conclude my plea with a quote from the deranged Dwight Schrute:
“In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all. It’s fear. Merry Christmas.”
I didn’t win the job. But what do you think? Would you have hired me? Also, leave your binge-worthy show recommendations in the comments since we are all still trying to entertain ourselves at home. Happy viewing!
And now for this week’s featured post!
Although my writing this week was less than serious, Laura Thomas sobered me up in the best way on Good Friday with her post Easter Solitude and Sacrifice. Easter may be in our rear view, but Jesus is walking with us every day. In writing about our the virus times we are living in, Laura said, “just perhaps, in our solitude, we will see the sacrifice of the Savior with fresh eyes…” I am praying for that for me and you today. Check out the rest of the post here.
Now for this week’s link-up! Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord.
Grace & Truth exists to point people to Jesus! We hope this link-up will be a source of encouragement every week. If you’re a blogger, we hope you’ll use this space as a way to meet new friends within the Christian blogging community. If you’re a reader, we hope that you’ll encounter new bloggers that love Jesus as much as you do! Most of all, we hope you’ll meet Jesus here.
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