With Valentine’s Day around the bend, my mind went down a love rabbit hole today. When my sweetie and I got married, 20 years ago now, his ex-wife gave us a copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Kinda thoughtful/ kinda awkward/ a little weird. I can really go any way on it, but I knew it was a good book. I read it and self-diagnosed my love language as “Receiving Gifts”. If you haven’t read the book, this means I feel most loved when I’m getting presents. As a Christian, I always felt a little awkward about this. It sounds selfish right? “It is more blessed to give than to receive”, right? But in this instance (and maybe only this one), Kanye said it best. “I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger.” Or something along those lines that I’m not cool enough to pull off. For me, it was really the idea that someone thought about me when I wasn’t even with them that made me feel special. The gift could be nothing more extravagant than a card or my favorite candy bar.
I explained the 5 different languages to my husband and he immediately assumed that the way he feels most loved is through physical touch. I’m not sure that’s true. Most guys probably think their love language is physical touch – if you know what I mean. But this category is a lot more about non-sexual touch than it is sexual. I decided to look this book up online today (I no longer have it) because I started to feel like my initial assessment of myself had changed. And did you know there is now a quiz you can take? Check it out at 5lovelanguages.com. Sure enough, the test showed I most appreciate “Words of Affirmation” with “Receiving Gifts” a close second. So basically I am a walking, breathing example of those t-shirts that say, “Buy me something nice and tell me I’m pretty.” Good grief. But in all seriousness, I do think it is interesting to learn more about how we receive love messages and I think I’m going to get my husband to take the quiz.
The Five Love Languages book made me think of the Sandi Patty song, “Love in Any Language”. If you are unfamiliar with it, here are the lyrics to the chorus:
Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here
That’s a message the world needs to hear right now. At which point my mind made a right turn to the words of Priscilla Shirer I read this morning in her book Awaken: 90 Days with the God Who Speaks. “Pray that He would make you sensitive enough, discerning enough, and interested in other people enough to sense when He is moving you into position to be a caring solution to their needs.” That sounds like love to me.
When all is said and all is done, I hope that what I said was Love. And what I did was Love.
Heavenly Father, I know I get it wrong so much of the time, but mold me and refine me so that the first thing others see in my actions is Your Love; and the first thing others hear from my lips is Your Love. If I never accomplish anything else, may it be said of me, “She loves.” Amen.
At the end of the rabbit hole, I want to wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day!