With Valentine’s Day around the bend, my mind went down a love rabbit hole today. When my sweetie and I got married, 20 years ago now, his ex-wife gave us a copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Kinda thoughtful/ kinda awkward/ a little weird. I can really go any way on it, but I knew it was a good book. I read it and self-diagnosed my love language as “Receiving Gifts”. If you haven’t read the book, this means I feel most loved when I’m getting presents. As a Christian, I always felt a little awkward about this. It sounds selfish right? “It is more blessed to give than to receive”, right? But in this instance (and maybe only this one), Kanye said it best. “I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger.” Or something along those lines that I’m not cool enough to pull off. For me, it was really the idea that someone thought about me when I wasn’t even with them that made me feel special. The gift could be nothing more extravagant than a card or my favorite candy bar.
I explained the 5 different languages to my husband and he immediately assumed that the way he feels most loved is through physical touch. I’m not sure that’s true. Most guys probably think their love language is physical touch – if you know what I mean. But this category is a lot more about non-sexual touch than it is sexual. I decided to look this book up online today (I no longer have it) because I started to feel like my initial assessment of myself had changed. And did you know there is now a quiz you can take? Check it out at 5lovelanguages.com. Sure enough, the test showed I most appreciate “Words of Affirmation” with “Receiving Gifts” a close second. So basically I am a walking, breathing example of those t-shirts that say, “Buy me something nice and tell me I’m pretty.” Good grief. But in all seriousness, I do think it is interesting to learn more about how we receive love messages and I think I’m going to get my husband to take the quiz.
The Five Love Languages book made me think of the Sandi Patty song, “Love in Any Language”. If you are unfamiliar with it, here are the lyrics to the chorus:
Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here
That’s a message the world needs to hear right now. At which point my mind made a right turn to the words of Priscilla Shirer I read this morning in her book Awaken: 90 Days with the God Who Speaks. “Pray that He would make you sensitive enough, discerning enough, and interested in other people enough to sense when He is moving you into position to be a caring solution to their needs.” That sounds like love to me.
Heavenly Father, I know I get it wrong so much of the time, but mold me and refine me so that the first thing others see in my actions is Your Love; and the first thing others hear from my lips is Your Love. If I never accomplish anything else, may it be said of me, “She loves.” Amen.
At the end of the rabbit hole, I want to wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day!
Oh, Lauren, what a touching story and wonderful prayer. I am going to copy that one. I need it!
Hubby and were listening to the radio when something came on about “What makes you feel loved?” I jokingly asked him “What makes you feel loved?”, mostly because he hates talking about “stuff”. After several minutes of trying to evade the question, he finally told me that when I write nice things about him in my blog, that makes him feel loved!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Laurie.
Beautiful post. I love the prayer! As Christians, more than anything living a life of love is so important. I want to revisit The 5 Love Languages. Thanks so much for sharing this sweet story! Happy Valentine’s Day to you too!
Thank you, Cheryl.
I read that but I’m not sure everybody gets it. You’d have to drag kind words out of some people.
That’s so funny…I’ve got a post about this for Monday! Did you know they have an app for couples now??? Check out my post next week for all the details. Plus you can win a copy of their 5 Love Languages Bible!
I did not know there was a bible! I will check it out. Thanks, Rebecca!
Excellent book for couples. I like what you said, “When all is said and all is done, I hope that what I said was Love. And what I did was Love. ” Me to girl, me too!
Amen Cindy!
Such a beautiful post. I read the book when I was first dating my now husband and he did too. I think our love languages have changed though from when we were first together to now. I was more about gifts then and now I’m more about time spend together, special moments or even a hand written note with some lovely words on it. Love is love, tho and I appreciate any of it!
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
U r so right, Carrie.
What a lovely idea X #anythinggoes
Thank you, Sam.
Oh yes, we need more love in the world. I agree with your prayer.
Yes, Carol. Thank you for reading.
I haven’t read the book but I’ve heard about the different love languages and I think it helps a lot in any kind of relationship to recognise that people give and receive love in different ways. I think my top ones are words of affirmation and quality time.
The concept itself is so helpful, even if you don’t read it.
I was just thinking of that book this weekend. Such a good book. I sang that song in church many years ago. Brings back great memories. #mixitup
It is such a helpful book. Blessings to you, Tracy!
First of all, I always love a good post on the love languages, Lauren. So thanks for doing that today! But I also find it interesting that my quiet time today was about Jesus’ instructions to the seventy disciples who were to wait on God to provide through others, as well as giving to others because “a worker deserves his wages.” With that in mind, I’m trying to focus on giving to others, as well as depending on God to provide through others to me! Quite the tension to strike, but they both stretch and strengthen my faith!
That is such a good word, Beth. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, weird gift, that. Have you read the Children’s version of the book? also good. My love language is Acts of Service. Do you find that what you Love to receive, you are also good at giving out? or do you think that is different with different people?
I like the humor in your post….makes it so fun to read about serious things.
Thank you for the sweet compliment, Liberty! I haven’t read the Children’s version but it would probably make a great gift for my grands. I do think I’m pretty good at giving the kind of love I want. I guess it comes naturally. Interesting topic isn’t it?
Thoughtful ex-wife? Interesting. Acts of service I have learned is how I show love. It’s interesting how showing and receiving can be two different languages.
So true, Calleen!
I love your sense of humor! In all seriousness, though, what you said about your gifts changing reminded me of the importance of being attentive to our loved ones. I’m sure ours is not the only marriage to experience change. What worked 10 years ago might not be as effective today. This has especially been evident with our kids.
That is a good word, Jana. Thank you!
That is a great book. My husband and I read it as part of our engagement counseling. The funny thing is two days ago we were talking about how we’ve probably changed in the years since and wanted to retake the test. I’ll have to check out the online version.
So glad to be your neighbor at the Tell His Story linkup today!
Thanks for visiting and weighing in, Ashley.
yes, guys are tricky with this quiz. I do always try to keep up with things around the house or make sure his coffee is prepped because I know he appreciates that.
Thanks for weighing in, Felicia.
My love language is Physical Touch followed by Quality Time. I’ve taken the quiz repeatedly and always land on those two. They are very true for me.
I remember the day many years ago when my brother introduced us to Sandi Patty with her first album. Love in any Language is a favorite of mine.
Great post.
P. S. I love that you said I love you to your now hubby first. Good for you! Happy Valentine’s day to you and him.
Thank you, Yvonne! So glad to have you visit today.
What a beautiful story AND prayer! My husband and I talk about our love languages frequently, because they tend to change with whatever season of life we’re in. Have a happy Valentine’s Day! 💕
Sydney, I didn’t really think they could change before but I do now!
That is interesting. I might take the quiz just out of curiosity to see where I fit into this. #GlobalBlogging
It never hurts to learn a little more about yourself!