Lesson #1 in Trust – my word for 2021.
I’m writing this from Cook Children’s Hospital watching my daughter eat a cafeteria food dinner. Just 3 days ago, she endured a 5 hour spinal fusion surgery. One for which the doctor told me they would have a neuro line to continuously monitor all her limbs to make sure her brain was still communicating to them. I wanted to plug my ears and say, “la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you”. I’m that mature. I prefer to stay blissfully unaware of things like that.
The morning of Shelby’s procedure, I tearfully hugged her and asked my husband if we could change our minds. I knew a slow (6ish weeks) and painful recovery awaited her. Since they would cut through her back muscles, hard work awaited her to be able to rebuild enough strength to sit up, stand and support herself. And trying to make our special needs young lady understand that she can’t bend, twist or lift for a while sounded impossible.
And yet I knew that the 64 degree curvature of her scoliosis could not go untreated. It would eventually impinge on her vital organs causing immeasurable complications and eventually death. Could we have avoided this painful process for her. Yes. For a while. Is she better off going through it? Absolutely. And I request that some of you remind me of that more than once over the next few weeks.
I imagine God might feel this way at times. Difficult circumstances in our lives can be direct consequences of our own actions. But more often than not, we don’t understand why certain things happen. Can the all-powerful God protect us from anything bad ever crossing our paths? Of course He can, but He allows that which will benefit us or someone else in the long game.
I won’t pretend to know why God does what He does. If I completely understood Him, He wouldn’t be God. He’d be just like me. And I’m not someone you would want to create and sustain the universe. But I did find a few possible explanations for our sufferings in the New Testament.
- To be able to relate to others and comfort them with the comfort we’ve been given. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 2 Corinthians 1:6 NIV
- To develop maturity. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 NIV But don’t beat yourself up if your “monster” doesn’t leave you joy-filled. We are allowed to grieve and express those true feelings. “Considering” it joy simply means that you know God is in control and therefore you know He will bring some good out of it.
- To turn our hearts toward heaven. For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, 3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 2 Corinthians 5:1-4 NIV We all work extremely hard to be comfortable here. Each new invention and modern convenience supposedly makes our lives easier. When we struggle, it reminds us of our eternal hope – a perfect place in the presence of our Savior.
- To teach us to depend on God and not ourselves. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:9 NIV With the touch of a keyboard we can seemingly find the answer to almost anything. It becomes pretty easy to think we can handle almost anything. But when things happen beyond our control (death, illness, job loss, relationship drama, natural disaster to name a few), we often lean harder into Jesus. And that’s what He ALWAYS wants, whether we face an annoyance or a catastrophe.
- To bring glory to Himself. As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. John 9:1-3 NIV God can use anything to show us or someone watching us more of who He is. And the more people who understand His majesty and might, the more people come to a saving and life-changing relationship with Him.
The surgeon told us Shelby would probably be 2 inches taller with her spine in proper alignment. I will be curious to see the difference once she is able to stand fully again. And just like Shelby, the most growth often happens through painful things.
And now for this week’s featured post!
Have You Lost Your Joy and Happiness? by Maree Dee struck a chord with me this week. Maree’s way of speaking truth and encouraging simultaneously reminds me of the way Jesus taught. Visit Maree at embracingtheunexpected.com. It might be just what you need.
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Praying for sweet Shelby … and you, my friend. May God’s grace wrap around your family in ways that leave you breathless …
What a beautiful prayer, Linda. Thank you.
Praying for your daughter. I’m sorry you have to go through this surgery but It’s true that Jesus is closer during these times. I had a friend who said “it feels so good when it stops.” You will get to the other side of this.
Thank you for the encouragement, Patricia.
Lauren, I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter’s difficult surgery. Praying for God to do exceedingly abundantly above all that you could ask or think. I love the verses you shared. I usually think of the James 1 passage during difficult times but the others you shared are so powerful. I need to think about them more often.
Blessing and strength during Shelby’s recovery.
Thank you for the prayers, Donna.
Praying for Shelby this morning. May the Lord give you both all that you need during this recovery.
Beautiful prayer Joanne. Thank you.
I remember one of my sons having shingle when he was 3 – I prayed he wouldn’t scratch his face – and he didn’t. He did end up with some nerve damage to one eye that twitches with light sensitivity – and probably stress. We were talking about it a few years ago (He’s almost 26) – and he said the itching was awful. . . and I thought, but for God, you didn’t scratch! Praying that God hear your prayers for comfort for Shelby. That though she feel discomfort, He let her sleep refreshing sleep (and you, too), that when it’s hard to go from sitting to standing in the recovery – that she rises from God’s strength lifting her up to stand – that God intercedes on this road to recovery that, while you cannot persuade her, God shepherds her – like my son not scratching though he itched so may God help Shelby in her recovery!
Thank you for sharing your story and for the beautiful prayer, Maryleigh. I so appreciate it. You know exactly what to pray because you have been through it! I love that about God connecting us.
Praying for you all Lauren.
We went through the same surgery with my eldest granddaughter who had a 73 degree curvature of the spine caused by a different condition. She was an aspiring Aerialist at the time in her early teens. The surgeon had to put in two support rods & a network of support wires as well as the fusion.
It was a long recovery process for her (as it was ten years ago now) but she worked her way back to becoming a professional Aerialist performing internationally!
And yes she was much taller in fact she’s now over 6′!
It is definitely worth the surgery as she was in a lot of pain beforehand & recovery is so much shorter now, then 10 years ago.
We also have a special needs granddaughter who has needed many serious surgeries in her little life, that this Grandmama has walked through with her & her Mama, so I do understand the surgery/special needs aspect too.
Will definitely keep you in prayer through this time.
Blessings,
Jennifer
Wow! You truly know what all we are going through. Thank you for the words of support and the prayers.
Blessings on you, your family, and your daughter’s recovery. May her pain be little, her blessings big, and God’s grace and love cocoon you all.
Love this, “He allows that which will benefit us or someone else in the long game.” Yes, our trials and hard times benefit not only us but those around us.
Thank you so much, Theresa.
Praying for you and Shelby. I know this is uncomfortable but it’s for the greater good that is Shelby’s life.
Absolutely! Thank you for reading and weighing in.
Amen Lauren. Such a blessed post. Praying for sweet Shelby. Blessings.
Visiting from Legacy Link-Up
Thank you for the prayers, Paula.
Praying for you and your family as Shelby recovers from her surgery! Being a caregiver is so difficult. May the Holy Spirit comfort you and Shelby and bring understanding to her about the restrictions. May her healing bring joy.
Thank you for this thoughtful prayer, Anita.
You’re getting a real workout from the get-go with your One Word, Lauren! I’m praying for Shelby right now and for you as you assist in her recovery. What a hard but wise decision you made to go ahead with the surgery. I admire you for it! Being a parent is so hard, but you’re doing the right thing!
Maybe I should have chosen another word, Lisa! But seriously, thank you so much for the prayers for us all.
Oh, wow. What an ordeal, and in the middle of a pandemic, too! I pray that Shelby recovers smoothly and you continue to be reminded constantly of God’s grace supporting you through this.
My daughter had surgery just after she turned 5 to remove a large pre-cancerous mole from her hand. As I sat in the waiting room, another surgeon came in to speak with another family, and the part I overheard was, “Good news! We only had to fuse five vertebrae!” It was useful for me to remind myself that that was the *good* news for someone else, and my own child’s procedure was so minor by comparison that she was very likely to come through it safely–as indeed she did. Of course other people’s situations don’t happen just to nudge my gratitude, but I take those nudges whenever I can get them.
I hope you will come through this with many reasons to be grateful!
Thank you for sharing your personal story and the kind prayers, Becca.
Lauren, that is some incredibly powerful stuff (as I sit here weeping while I type). I applaud your strength in supporting your Shelby through this process and your strength in sharing it with us…because reason #1…”To be able to relate to others and comfort them with the comfort we’ve been given.” I live by this reason. It gives purpose to all of my pain. And when we find the purpose in it, we can begin to heal ourselves and the pain of others. You and Shelby are not mother and daughter by chance, you are mother and daughter for a million incredibly important reasons, most of which we are not even meant to comprehend. You are an incredible mom and human being! Remember that even when you are screaming out loud that you can’t handle any more, that is just a coping mechanism necessary to continue handling much, much more. We are always stronger than we know! Sending you lots of prayers, healing energy, and virtual hugs!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Well, I almost cried reading your kind response. I really appreciate all of your support and especially prayers. Thank you, friend.
Lauren, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as your Shelby goes through this very challenging time. I hope her recovery is as speedy and pain free as it can possibly be, although I appreciate this sort of surgery is one where healing can be slow and painful. Your post is a really beautiful one, very encouraging and wise. Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the Hearth and Soul Link Party community.
Thank you so, so much for the prayers. It is a tough recovery for her and her parents, but we will get through. And I appreciate you hosting the Hearth and Soul community!
Praying with you. I have learned these lessons on the why’s in life.
I know this God is always good.
He is always good. So thankful for this, Mandy.
Lauren, I’m praying for your daughter, for you and your family as you all go through this journey. Your words touch my heart and are inspiring. Thank you for sharing from your heart and your faith. I also pray that your daughter has less pain yet gains more strength with each passing day. Sending a hug <3
Thank you so much for the virtual hug, your encouraging words, and especially your prayers.