Nationaltoday.com says today is Repeat Day. I feel that. We attended a graduation ceremony last week for our daughter Shelby. She graduated from high school at 17. But now at 21 she is graduating from the same school’s transition program. We are so grateful for the extra years our state allows special education students to stay before moving on to the adult world.
I have lots of feelings, as I did when writing about her first graduation here, here, here and here. And I have shed buckets of tears over those feelings. It’s complicated. Usually when a graduation happens, bigger and better things await. But I would keep Shelby right where she is forever if I could. I am thankful for the adult dayhab that she will attend from now on. It will give her some socialization and a break from the boredom that is hanging out at home. But it’s not the same. And that, along with tougher medical care – and someday a small group home – are what is available to her for the rest of her life.
Graduation Goodies
But let’s break from the doom and gloom to talk about the sweet, special moments from her graduation. She was so excited to be celebrated. There were balloons, cupcakes and other decorations. Her teacher spoke of Shelby’s sweet disposition, her stubborn streak and how she’s grown. She called her a ray of sunshine. And she is.
One of her former aides asked off work to come see her. And the aide who works with her now stuck to her side. Teachers and paraprofessionals from her elementary, middle school and both high schools have cared for her and loved her so well. And I might as well include nurses, bus drivers, diagnosticians and transition specialists too! My husband’s observation was that she is known – really known by this community. And that’s hard to leave behind. She’s so fortunate to have had this experience with school.
Shelby’s Best Buddy Delaney came to the ceremony. And invited us all to her graduation party. She has taken Shelby to Homecoming and a friendship ball. A halloween party and an Easter egg hunt. Ice cream and soda dates filled the in between. Shelby loves to be with same age peers. And I don’t know how many other high school seniors would spend their time like this.
Lastly, we met Shelby’s boyfriend at graduation. We didn’t know that she had one. I don’t think she knows either. But this young man thinks my daughter is beautiful. He told us that she hugs him and they walk holding hands. I was so grateful for his tender affection for her and for the comic relief. I really needed it.
Graduation Education
So the day was both sweet and hard. My point in telling you all this is to make sure you know that we can hold both things. We can be joyful and still grieve. I can laugh in the midst of pain. We can be grateful for the experience and still think it sucks that it’s over.
And even when there is tension between our desires and our realities, we can be confident in God’s sovereignty and His love for us.
And now if you don’t mind, I’m going to follow the instructions in Matthew 6:6 from the Message.
“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.”
And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!
Linda from beingwoven.org used scripture beautifully to express the frustration and inner turmoil we often feel about the hard things in the world. I so appreciate her vulnerability and her prayer of obedience in I Have Very Few Words…Today.
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Such a sweet and beautiful story.
Thank you, Amy.
Dear Lauren, this is beautiful and tender. Bittersweet and contemplative and quieting. Shelby sounds like quite an exceptional young woman … and how blessed is she to have a community that loves her well.
xo
We have been so grateful, Linda.
I just had a conversation with someone that echoed the sentiment that none of our emotions is bad. We can feel the full range of our emotions from anger to perpetual joy and everything in between. Our emotions do not have to fit into one nice neat box yet oftentimes we are made to feel like bad Christians if we feel anything but joy. It’s time to stop policing our emotions and let them be.
“Policing our emotions”. That’s a great way to put it, Yvonne.
Congratulations for Shelby’s milestone graduation, and a big hug for the hard aspects that the transition brings. This is so true, Lauren, “And even when there is tension between our desires and our realities, we can be confident in God’s sovereignty and His love for us.” And I appreciate the authenticity about the wide range of emotions we can feel in a given moment. “We can be joyful and still grieve. I can laugh in the midst of pain.”
Thank you, Lisa. I appreciate your kind words!
What a blessing Shelby has had and will have good facilities and friends to help her on her way. I hope and pray she transitions well to the new situation. I’m glad she had such a fun day on her graduation. I so agree that “even when there is tension between our desires and our realities, we can be confident in God’s sovereignty and His love for us” and that things can be happy and sad at the same time.
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes, Barbara.
It is true that we can experience those dual feelings, isn’t it? I have been experiencing some of the same of late … joy, along with that melancholy feeling of losing something at the same time. Thanks for this heartfelt post. Blessings!
I am sorry this season includes melancholy feelings for you. It is the way of the world we live in. Saying a prayer for you right now and asking God to give you more joy than the other.
I’m so thankful for these beautiful graduation memories with Shelby, Lauren. And Delaney sounds like a God send. I’m so glad you have been surrounded and supported so well in your journey! Big hug to you as you transition into this next season. Praying and trusting you will be fully supported in this next season though it may look and feel different. I appreciate this, “And even when there is tension between our desires and our realities, we can be confident in God’s sovereignty and His love for us.” Amen!
Thank you, Lisa. I can feel your care and concern through your words and it means the world to me.
Congratulations to Shelby. Well deserved! I also enjoyed hearing about her best friend Delaney and the young man who is her boyfriend. Sounds like she has amazing group of friends and community but I do understand as mother/parent or even outsider, the feeling of bittersweet is not alien to me. Watching our children grow is magical and something I would never take for granted but at the same time, it’s nerve wrecking and sad at the same time. My son is still young but I do feel a tug in my heart just watching him slowly change from a baby to a toddler to a little boy. I feel both feelings of joy and sadness. A similar feeling also when I visit my Grandma and my parents as they get older. All that to say, I agree. We can both feel the same emotions at the same time and it’s perfectly okay. I hope you had a great weekend and happy Monday!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
Thank you, Maureen.
Ahhh, Lauren, this is beautiful. As my kids grow into adulthood, I am humbled when I see how God has taken care of them, placed people in their lives who encourage them to become the people God created them to be. I’m so glad you got to celebrate Shelby. What a blessing for her to be so loved!
And now, as you take some time to go into a private place with Jesus to process everything, may He meet you where you are in your grief and your joy.
Thank you for understanding, Jeanne, and for your kind words.
Such a sweet story and bittersweet moment. May the Lord continue to be with your daughter and you in the coming days. Transitions are not easy but with God, they can bring good.
Thank you for that prayer, Joanne.
What a beautiful post. I know what you mean about grief and Joy and how sometimes you can experience both at the same time! Wishing Shelby all the best as she transitions into the adult world. I just stopped and prayed for her now.
Thank you so much for praying for my girl, Ruth.
Lauren, I know we are celebrating your daughter here, but I want to applaud the care and intentionality I see wrapped around every word of this post. Shelby will have a good future because she has loving and pro-active parents. Such a beautiful picture of God’s provision.
Thank you for those kind words, Michele.
Lauren, I am going through something similar with my teenage son. Loving all the things that he is experiencing, but also realizing that my little boy doesn’t need me as much anymore. Thank you for sharing this on Traffic Jam Weekend. It has been chosen as a fave feature for this week’s link party that goes live on Thursday at 5:00 pm CST.
Thank you so much, Kimberly! I will share the link up on socials this weekend!
Hello! I’m visiting from jenerallyinformed.com’s Happy Now Linkup. I really enjoyed reading how you celebrated your daughter’s graduation and how many lovely people in her life helped her celebrate, too.
Thanks so much for coming over, Katy. I so appreciate it.
Aw, what a lovely and bittersweet milestone! Your daughter sounds like such a lovely young woman.
Thank you, Joanne. She is a blessing.
Congratulations to Shelby! I hope her next phase of life will be as filled with loving mentors and helpers as her days of schooling were.
Thank you for linking up at Talent-Sharing Tuesdays Link-Up 21.
Carol
http://www.scribblingboomer.com
Thank you, Carol.
Your post is such a beautiful example of the importance of vintaging the good from the hard. This so went straight to my heart: “We can hold both things. We can be joyful and still grieve.” I needed to hear this today! Praying for you and yours as you make this transition.
Thank you so much for the prayers, Maryleigh. And for reminding me that finding the good in the bad doesn’t just happen (although God in His mercy will sometimes make it abundantly clear). I need to be looking for Him in all things.