Have you seen the movie yet?  Wonder has been in the theaters for a couple of weeks now, but if you have a middle schooler or older elementary age child, chances are you knew that.  Kids have been devouring the book Wonder since it was published in 2012.  Inspired by an incident with her three year old daughter and the lyrics to a Natalie Merchant song, R.J. Palacio’s award winning children’s book is not only entertaining, but inspiring and thought-provoking.  It’s even sparked a movement.  You can learn more about the Choose Kind Campaign here.

While I salute the anti-bullying message of the Choose Kind campaign, sparked by quotes from the story such as, “If you have a choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.” (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer), and “Shall we make a new rule of life…always to try to be a little kinder than necessary?” (J.M. Barrie), I think the essence of the story’s meaning goes deeper than mere kindness.  We miss the mark of the hero’s deepest desire and cheapen the human emotional response if our aim is simply to be kind.

Kind IS a good place to start.  It’s a drastic improvement over the alternative, but the heart wants more.  Auggie, the story’s subject, born with a genetic condition, withstood 27 surgeries from which he bears craniofacial scars.  When he starts public school for the first time, he endures a fair share of mean-spirited bullying.  But there are other kids who pity him and treat him more compassionately.  Yet he still eats lunch alone every day.  Kindness in and of itself doesn’t fill the hole of isolation.  It’s not until his classmate Jack accepts an invitation to Auggie’s house to work on a science project, that our main character’s outlook changes.  As Jack spends time with Auggie, he begins to see past his physical differences and embraces the uniqueness of his new friend.  Jack begins to care about Auggie.  Their relationship is not free of bumps or difficulties, but a friendship endures.  Acceptance by Jack, eventually leads to Auggie’s acceptance by many.  We learn that, “It’s not enough to be friendly.  You have to be a friend.”

We all long to be SEEN and truly KNOWN and loved anyway.  Donald W. McCullough in Mastering Personal Growth says, “When we consider the blessings of God – the gifts that add beauty and joy to our lives, that enable us to keep going through stretches of boredom and even suffering – friendship is very near the top.”

One of my favorite biblical examples of friendship is the bond between David and Jonathan.  1 Samuel 18:1-3 tells us, “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.  And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house.  Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.”  It takes a sacrifice of time to knit our soul to another.  And in the circles most of us run (and I do mean run) in, time is a precious commodity.  But some of it MUST be spent in growing and nurturing relationships.  Our Creator hard-wired us for connection.  INTIMATE connection.  Anything else will ultimately leave us empty.

“Courage.  Kindness.  FRIENDSHIP [emphasis mine].  Character.  These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.”  – R.J. Palacio, Wonder

“And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God.”  – R.J. Palacio, Wonder

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.  But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm.  But how can one be warm alone?  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT

The Christmas decorations are up.  I can hardly wait until after Thanksgiving (but never before) every year to tackle it.  We don’t “theme” our tree.  At least not at this juncture.  Our ornaments are sentimental – given to us through the years or bought as souvenirs.  The oldest dates back to the year I was born.  I won’t say exactly what year that was.  Some baubles I made as a child, some were made by my children.  Some are so very ugly that they are relegated to the back of the tree where no one will see them.  We laugh each time we hand-select the decorations to receive this “honor” knowing that no matter how hideous, we will only ever throw them away if they get broken beyond repair.

Our Christmas decor holds many memories.  There is something so comforting about getting it all out of the attic and putting it up for us to see.   A nativity that belonged to my grandfather, an ornament commemorating the first home we owned together, Shrinky Dinks made with my children, and things sewn by my grandmother.  Nothing gets me in the Christmas spirit like surrounding myself with these precious, familiar things.

Christmas movies also put me in the mood for the season.  My in-laws took us to see the new animated show The Star.  As I write this, the reviews sit at 55% rotten.  It’s simple.  It’s silly.  But it’s sincere.  It’s a retelling of the first Christmas, told from the perspective of the animals.  And no matter how many times I hear the true story of Christmas, no matter who is telling it, it touches me deeply.  My tears escaped their confines as I took in the familiar story of God’s great sacrifice.  That He would send His only Son down into this world of danger and pain to be a sacrifice for our sins.  That this tiny baby saves those who will receive Him from ultimate destruction.  I know it.  But I’m overwhelmed by it.  The beautiful, sacrificial, familiar love of God.

Welcome to the Christmas season.

“This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in clothes and lying in a manger.”  Luke 2:12 NIV

I am joining Kate Motaung and other members of the Five Minute Friday community  for our weekly writing adventure. To learn about Five Minute Friday, click here. This week’s prompt is, “Familiar.”

We have become an overly offendable society.  I had to make up a word to express this opinion.  “Offendable” if not in the dictionary, but that is most certainly what we are.  In the last couple of years, we have expanded our definition of what is “offensive” to include how others vote, shop, parent, and view historical designations.  While we tout tolerance and acceptance of other lifestyles as a pillar of civilized community, our patience with people ascribing to different ideals is at an all-time low.

A few months ago I read the book Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better by Brant Hansen.  In this easy to read proposal, Hansen challenges the idea that we are entitled to get offended or stay angry.  He even questions whether there is such a thing as “righteous anger”.  Of course Jesus was righteously angry, but He was sinless.  This begs the question, “Is it possible for a sinful person to be angry without sin?”  Colossians 3:8 commands, “But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these:  anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”  Anger has no place with us.

Here are some other verses on anger:

“‘In your anger do not sin’:  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”  Ephesians 4:26-27

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”  James 1:19-20

“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.”  Proverbs 29:11

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”  Proverbs 19:11

“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”  Ecclesiastes 7:9

I am joining Kate Motaung and other members of the Five Minute Friday community  for our weekly writing adventure. To learn about Five Minute Friday, click here. This week’s prompt is, “Excuse.”