Life takes some funny twists and turns.  Sometimes “funny” means “laugh-out-loud surprise”, but often “funny” means “heartbreakingly strange” or “difficult adjustment”.  My life hasn’t exactly gone according to plan.  Heck, my DAYS don’t usually go according to plan.  If you are reading this now and your life is exactly how you envisioned it, I want to meet you.  One of two things is going on:  Either you exited the womb within the week (and if that’s the case I want to beat Ellen in debuting your brilliance to the world – I mean, you ARE reading), or you are the long-sought after magical unicorn (and if that’s the case I want to beat Ellen in debuting your brilliance to the world).

For those of us with loved ones who are disabled or have special needs, those twists and turns became huge detours.  And grieving for what might have been is a regular part of our existence.  Most of us have a copy of “Welcome to Holland”, a poem by Emily Perl Kingsley, tucked somewhere for quick reference when we need a reminder.  (If you don’t know this poem, please look it up.  You will be blessed.)  But even if this isn’t your particular lot in life, you are still very accustomed to bends in the proverbial road.  God’s Word tells us that “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”  Pro 19:21.  So since surprises are inevitable, how do we learn to love the life we never asked for?

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”  The biblical story of Joseph is one of the best examples of this I can find.  Joseph was his father’s favorite son and his brothers were jealous of him.  They threw him in a pit and planned to leave him to perish in the elements.  But when they saw a traveling caravan on their path, they decided to sell him into slavery – getting rid of Joseph and making a profit at the same time.  Joseph became a high ranking and well-respected servant, re-writing the trajectory of what he thought his life would be, only to be falsely accused of a crime and imprisoned.  Joseph would eventually rise to greater prominence (2nd in command) of his country.  This had been God’s plan all along.  I’m sure it was hard for Joseph to see this outcome from the bottom of a seemingly hopeless pit, or from behind the bars of a dank and dark jail cell.  But eventually, Joseph was able to say to those who had persecuted him, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”  Genesis 50:20

When my step-son first dreamed the dream of medical school, his vision didn’t involve a simultaneous wife and four children.  And while his path might be 10x harder than an otherwise unencumbered student, I can guarantee it’s 50x more joyous.  How do I know?  I’ve seen him with those kids.  He wouldn’t have it any other way, even if sleepless nights, crying babies and minimal funds can sometimes make him loose sight of that for brief moments.  And while parenting a child with special needs might, in some ways, be 10x harder for me than parenting a typical child, what I get from being the mom of this sweet, loving, precious child cannot be measured – even when the sleepless nights, perpetual messes and uncontrolled seizures make me want to cry “uncle”.

So what is the key to making lemonade out of the lemons, finding the joy in the madness, and overall loving the life you have?  I believe it is trust in the Lord.  1.  We have to trust that God is all powerful.  He tells us in His work, “I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33  2.  We have to trust in the message of Romans 8:28 (previously quoted) that God really does work all things together for good.  3.  We have to trust that this life is not all there is.  “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  Revelation 21:4  When we go to heaven to be with our Savior, we will never experience the pain and brokenness and disappointment this world has to offer.  No more curve balls.  That is something to be happy about no matter how much difficulty you are currently experiencing.

Developing this assurance in the promises of God is not as easy as listing 1,2,3 like I did in the previous paragraph.  It takes time.  Time spent in God’s Word.  The more we study it, the more we believe it.  It takes time in prayer.  The more you talk to Him, the more you will know Him, who is true peace.  And it takes some time examining your own life.  When you are able to pin point and acknowledge His hand in your life, your faith becomes real to you and takes root.  Can you put in the time to truly love your life?  It’s a discipline I struggle to maintain every day, but it’s paying off in spades of joy!

“But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’  My times are in your hand;”  Psalm 31:14-15a

I’ve recently started running again.  I’m not at all sure “again” is the right qualifier since there has been a broken foot, a blown ACL, serious back issues and a few more pounds than I would care to admit since I considered myself a serious runner.  And I’m not even sure this slow, painful, awkward movement qualifies as running.  But I am trying.  It is hard, friends.  Like – why am I putting myself through this misery – hard.  And yet I trudge (literally) on.  It may not be pretty, but I’m persevering.  I set small goals, slowly pushing myself for longer periods.  And I give myself a load of grace.

Yesterday I set out on the trail at my neighborhood park and mentally prepared myself for the journey (it is so much a head game with me, yall).  I should have also better physically prepared, as the shorts I suited up in were starting to grow.  Have you ever had a pair of pants that seemed to get looser and bigger the longer you wore them?  Come on, some of you know what I’m talking about.  This phenomenon occurred as I locomoted down the path.  The more steps I took and the sweatier I got, the wider my waistband got.  I thought I could possibly just ride it out since I was wearing a long t-shirt, but as they slipped down my backside, I lost all hope for them defying gravity.  I frantically clutched the wayward bottoms and hiked them up as I slowed my jog to a walk.  My flesh wanted to use this as an excuse to stop running.  I mean, it is soooooo hard.  And besides, I don’t wear under things beneath my exercise pants (TMI?)  My weak nature (not to mention my sore back and achy knee) wanted to quit.  And I had a respectable excuse.  But as awkward as it was, I knew I could continue to jog while holding up the waistband of my ill-fitting shorts.  And that is what I did until I reached the goal I set before starting out that morning.  I don’t tell you this story as some kind of weird humble-brag.  I tell it because I see a correlation between my waistband and obedience to Christ.

Have I lost you yet?  Oftentimes, God asks us to do things that are hard.  Like, running hard.  Like, scary, why am I putting myself though this misery, hard.  And I can be the queen of finding any and every excuse to quit – or never start for that matter.  When I feel the nudge to serve in a new ministry or capacity at church, I can get overwhelmed with the activities I’m already juggling (or holding up like a waistband, if you will).  When He asks me to have a difficult conversation with someone, I can hide behind my non-confrontational nature.  When God asks me to create, it’s easy to feel like there are more talented and experienced people for the job.  And the truth is, on my own I would make an ass out of myself at any of those things (just as I would have in a totally different way had I dropped my shorts).  But because our God is so good, we are never alone.

I don’t for a minute believe the cliche that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.  I think He CONSTANTLY gives us things we can’t handle to see if we will get out of the way and allow Him to work in it.  “And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9  When it comes to obeying His will for us, Jesus is the left hand holding up the waist band so that we can run the race without excuse.  I can almost hear Christ whisper a refute to every one of my excuses.  “Busy?  If I have called you to it, I will multiply your time.”  (Don’t confuse this with filling your schedule with “good” things that leave you exhausted and putting God on the back-burner.  That’s another topic for another time.)  “Afraid?  I cast out fear (1 John 4:18).”  “Not talented enough?  Not smart enough?  That’s ok.  I AM.”  God will equip you for whatever He asks of you.  Rest in that.  Hold your pants up high and get to it.

I have a new grandson.  His name is Bennett.  He is loved and precious and adorable, but his name was cause for much debate that continued until after he was born.  While playing with Bennett’s 4 year old brother Chayton, I called the newborn by name.  Chayton quickly let me know that “we have not decided between the name Bennett or Everett yet.”  I informed him that the decision had been made and baby’s name was Bennett.  Chayton exclaimed, “I HATE that name.  I want him to be named Everett.”  I apologized, but confirmed that the chosen name was Bennett.  Chayton, rather distraught, asked me, “Why did they mix up the names?”  I explained to him that his mom and dad must have chosen the name they liked the best.  Chayton then expressed to me this desire:  “I want my family to change his name.”  I told him I didn’t think that was going to happen.  He then said, “well, I just won’t call him anything.”  And that is about as rational as conversations with 4 year olds get.  But this discussion didn’t end there.  Chayton became increasingly unhinged as he brought up this name debacle at least 2 more times.  His attitude and entire demeanor went in the pooper over a name.

The decision to follow Jesus Christ is often referred to as being “born again”.  And just as a new born baby is given new names (welcome, Bennett Graham Sparks), we are given new names when we are “born again”.  The problem is, we often don’t live out the reality of our new names.  We fall back into old habits, we listen to the negative voices in our heads and we believe the labels a fallen society places on us.  Instead of our new names, we tend to hang on to old ones like “stupid”, “sinful”, “selfish”, “fat”, “unloved”, “unwanted”, “ashamed”.  Unfortunately, the list could go on and on.  The name you call yourself may not be on this list, but without even knowing who you are, I am positive that at one time or another, you have given yourself a negative moniker.  And I believe it grieves God as much, if not more, than Chayton was grieved over the baby’s name when we refer to ourselves with the wrong names.

When we come into relationship with God, He gives us a new identity in Him.  Nothing we have been before or done before matters.  That’s why we need new names.  It didn’t take long searching the Bible to come up with a working list of better names God gives us.  Here are a few:

1.  He calls you child.  (“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are.”  1 John 3:1)
2.  He calls you friend.  (“I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing.  But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father.”  John 15:15)
3.  He calls you beloved.  (“May the beloved of the Lord dwell in security by Him…”  Deuteronomy 33:12)
4.  He calls you a treasured possession.  (“For you are a people holy to the Lord your God.  The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.”  Deuteronomy 7:6)
5.  He calls you justified.  (“But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”  Romans 3:24)
6.  He calls you a temple of His Holy Spirit.  (“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you”  1 Corinthians 6:19
7.  He calls you a new creation.  (“So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away – look, what is new has come”  2 Corinthians 5:17
8.  He calls you heir.  (“So you are not longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God.”  Galatians 4:7)
9.  He calls you free.  (“For freedom Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery”  Galatians 5:1)
10.  He calls you chosen, holy, and blameless.  (“For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight in love” Ephesians 1:4)
11.  He calls you redeemed and forgiven.  (“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace” Ephesians 1:7)
12.  He calls you his workmanship.  (“For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them”  Ephesians 2:10)

This list is by no means exhaustive, but maybe it will give you a place to start when you need to be reminded of who and whose you are.