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How a Church Cemetery Reminded Me of What’s Important

July 8, 2022 by Lauren 11 Comments

what's importantEvery day I drive 20 minutes to take my daughter to her dayhab program.  And every day we pass a church with a cemetery beside it.  The church and grounds are gorgeous.  And I love their commitment to history.  This congregation kept and preserved other iterations of their sanctuaries as they continued to expand and build.  And today,  this patch  of  land  and  buildings reminded me of  what’s important.

 

God handed us a break with the temperatures this week (only getting into the low 90’s instead of triple digits).  So I chose to exercise outside on a mild morning or two (still in the upper 70’s).  I prefer being outdoors for movement these days but the Texas climate rarely allows that during the summer.

 

what's importantAfter dropping Shelby off, I decided to stop at this church campus to explore and walk.  They have a prayer labyrinth and a walking trail with spiritual landmarks – and a lot of space.  I tried to take a picture of the cemetery while capturing the church on the other side of it, but mucked it up.  I blame the poor vantage point.  Making excuses really.  If you look closely at the picture with the gate, you might just barely see the steeple above the trees.  Oh, well.  My younger sister got all of the photography skills.what's important

 

What’s Important

 

Let me make my point.  I think seeing a cemetery every time I went to church would remind me that this place is not our home.  I know funerals and burials make a lot of money now – big business – which is probably why the church is not the preferred plot anymore.  But I think being put in mind of the saints who went before us on a weekly basis could be a good thing.

 

We spend so much time trying to make ourselves comfortable here and devising ways to live our best lives now.  And the bible does tell us that Jesus came to give us an abundant life (John 10:10).  But I don’t think abundant lives focus on the here and now.  Today reminded me that I need to keep my eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) and things in the heavenly realm.  That is what’s important.

 

We only use these bodies in this place for a short time.  But 2 Corinthians 5:1 NIV tells us, “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.”  Through this scripture the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Everything you do in this body should be focused on that”.

 

Summing Up What’s Important

 

I get so caught up in the pain and difficulty – and even the minutia – of my days.  My walk this morning renewed my commitment to myself and my Heavenly Father to turn my thoughts to Him and His purposes.  And to the promises that await me when this blip on earth is over.  Our Father, using that church and the quaint little graveyard, hugged me warmly and reminded me that this is not all there is.  He reminded me of what’s important.

 

“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,  who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”  Philippians 3:20-21 NIV

 

The Link Up

 

Paula Short provided us a great list of encouraging scriptures that I thought might be beneficial for you too.  Plus, she has a new link up for you writers.  Two resources in one!  24 Ways Christ Tells Us Who We are in Him.

 

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

 

If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

To find some great places where I might be sharing this post, click here.

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National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: 5 Things Not to Say

October 15, 2021 by Lauren 20 Comments

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance DayToday is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  You may not be aware, unless you are someone who is remembering.  If that’s you, I want you to know how very sorry I am.  I want you to know that your story, and your baby’s life matter.  And I am praying for you.

 

In honor of this day, I asked my sister Kristen Ray, who is remembering, to share with us.  She graciously agreed.  So here are:

 

5 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO MISCARRIES

 

I have two babies – in Heaven.  I had a miscarriage in 2011 at 5 weeks and another in 2012 at 8 weeks.  Mine was a five-year journey of heartbreak, loss, thousands of dollars in fertility treatments, and in the end – empty arms.  But one of my favorite things about our God is that He never wastes a hurt, and He has given me the privilege of walking with women through difficult pregnancies and pregnancy loss.

 

I have cried with them, vacuumed their floors, run errands, and sat with them.  The most important thing I did was pray for them – frequently – using scripture – and texted them scripture to encourage them.  And

the best piece of advice I have given to those grieving is this – PEOPLE WILL SAY DUMB THINGS TO YOU.  It is only because they don’t understand.  They care, or they wouldn’t be saying anything.

Click To Tweet

 

I know most people don’t intend to be hurtful.  So today, I share:

 

5 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO MISCARRIES:

 

  1. You can have another baby. I heard this – even from my OBGYN.  “You are young!  There’s plenty of time!”  That doesn’t change the fact that I lost a child.  No one would ever say this to someone who lost a toddler.  So don’t say it to someone who miscarries either.  My babies were very real, and very real to me, even if I never held them.
  2. I went to a baby funeral… Don’t tell stories of your or someone else’s experience.  A week after my first miscarriage, a prominent woman in our church made a beeline for me to tell me about a funeral she went to with a tiny casket.  All I wanted to do was run away and cry.  Why is this helpful in any way?  I also don’t need to hear about your daughter’s botched D&C.  Again, not helpful.
  3. There was obviously something wrong with the baby, so God was just taking care of it. Would you say this to someone who had a child with medical issues?    We have a special needs person in our family who is a delight.  And another family member born with a birth defect.  In fact, I was born with a birth defect, although I didn’t know it until many years later.  And I am certain that everyone in my family is glad that we are around!
  4. I didn’t invite you to my baby shower because I was afraid it would be painful for you. I know this person means well.  Don’t make the decision about what is best for me.  Please include me and let me choose – and be understanding of whatever I decide.  The week of my first miscarriage, I was scheduled to co-host a baby shower.  I bowed out of that.  I knew I wasn’t ready to handle it as was evident when I bawled my way through the explanation to the parent-to-be.  But I did go to a shower of a friend a few months later – our babies would have been about three weeks apart in age.  It was hard and I cried all the way home.  But it was important for me to be there.
  5. I am willing to be your surrogate or I have some fertility advice. An extended family member, in a letter, offered to be a surrogate for me after my second miscarriage.  I think it was intended to be a sweet offer.  But I was stunned.  It was something I had never considered.  And I was still grieving.  Don’t offer things like this or even fertility advice unless asked – or unless you know the person is interested.  They have probably seen doctors, specialists, done research – or they are going to.

 

What Should I Do on National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day?

 

I am sure now you are thinking, “What CAN I say?”  So let me tell you.  Just say, “I love you and I’m praying for you.”  That’s it.  It’s that simple.  All they need to know is that you care.  Don’t ask questions.  They might be on the brink of tears.  They might not feel like talking.  But if they do, your declaration of concern will open the door, and they will talk.

 

And one more thing – don’t forget about the men.  Most people check in on and focus on the women.  But my husband grieved the loss of our babies, too.  I say all this from my own experience.  I know everyone is different and I don’t presume to speak for all women in this situation.  But how can telling someone you love them and are praying for them be a bad thing?

 

Kristen Ray is the Director of Finance for Prestonwood Baptist Church is Plano, Texas.  She is a gifted mentor, friend and beloved sister, daughter and wife.  She is also my twin.

 

 

 

And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

 

Michele Morin encouraged me this week with How’s Your Hearing These Days?  Can You Discern the Voice of God?  So many people today are searching for God in their feelings or others’ teachings and beliefs.  It’s more frightening to me than anything Halloween can throw at us.  Michele’s call to get back to the Word of God to hear His voice is important, timely and refreshing.

 

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

 

Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

To find some great places where I might be sharing this post, click here.

Share this:

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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