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Learning to Lament

February 14, 2019 by Lauren 36 Comments

The weight of this sad time we must obey;

Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.  – William Shakespeare, King Lear

 

This blog has been a place of processing, learning and growing through the hardships and trials of the last two years.  And two weeks ago, I shared that I was in a new place – a better one – even if my footing still felt a little fragile.  So when Tyndale House Publishers graciously provided me a copy of The Louder Song:  Listening for Hope in the Midst of Lament by Aubrey Sampson, it piqued my interest.  But my honest thought was that I didn’t really need this as my disposition toward God and my family’s situation was improved.  But I was wrong.  I needed the truths of this book.  And if you don’t currently need this message, at some point you will.

 

I now agree with the author 100% when she wrote, “In my youthful naivete’ I believed that hardships were supposed to be the exception to life, not the rule.  But suffering is not an exception, after all.  It’s not a surprise.  It’s not an interruption to an otherwise easy life.  The older I get, the more I realize that no person is untouched by some level of pain and heartache, big or small.”  I believe we, the global church, have a skewed idea of what it means to “Rejoice in the Lord always“.  And because of it, we are uncomfortable with pain and grief – our own and that of other people.  Laments are an overlooked form of prayer and worship.  In studying the laments of the Bible (Job, David, Jeremiah and more), we learn that laments bridge the gap between “current hopelessness and coming hope”.  There’s hope because “we don’t lament to a void.  We lament to the God who wants our laments.”

 

What is lament?  A pouring out of our hearts to God.  It’s an invitation to stop pretending we don’t suffer, to stop avoiding our big feelings and let go of control.  Most believers in Jesus Christ, and even some non-believers know that God is not an agent of pain, evil or death.  But in this broken world, we need to be able to admit that it’s often hard to make sense of a God who is able to stop pain, evil or death and sometimes doesn’t.  So how are these types of questions…the “why’s?”, the “how longs?”, the “where are you’s?” worship?  Because we still take them to God.  “Lament is the art of trusting God no matter what he gives, no matter what he takes.” 

When we cry out to God, we trust Him with our feelings, even as we struggle to trust Him with the circumstance. 

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“You get to feel what you feel and don’t have to try to force yourself to transcend the moment as you lament.  In fact, you don’t have to do much; just let him love you – you and all your mixed emotions, too.  God’s love will transform you.”

 

God is big enough to handle our doubts and frustrations.  He isn’t one bit threatened.  He created our finite minds, in fact.  It’s true that He wants our worship, but not just for worship sake.  He wants us to come to revere Him and honor Him because we know Him and His character.  That takes experience with Him and it means relationship with Him.  “If we never acknowledge our pain to God, we will never truly know what it means to praise him on the other side of suffering.  It is in our honest crying out to God about our pain that our worship of God grows more authentic…Lament is part of the rhythm of a deepening relationship with him.”

 

True confession:  When I read non-fiction books, I never read the questions in the back of the book that are sometimes included for groups.  This subject matter was so interesting to me that I read and wrote out answers to every one.  I found catharsis and incredible wisdom – even in the appendix.  I am not overstating the importance of this book to say when I say that I feel much better equipped to handle my pain and the pain of others after spending time between these pages.

 

*As a reminder, all links are affiliate links and if you purchase anything after clicking on them, I will receive a small commission to help with the costs of operating this blog at no additional cost to you.  Thank you in advance.  

 

 

 

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Does Everything REALLY Happen for a Reason?

July 27, 2018 by Lauren 30 Comments

Click here for Amazon ordering and information.

 

I saw a recommendation for this book and couldn’t resist.  It’s the story of a young wife, mom and college professor who stares down the barrel of a Stage IV cancer diagnosis.  Doesn’t it sound like something you would immediately be drawn to?  Although not a light and breezy summer beach read, I’m so thankful I found it.  The author records beautifully the wonderful moments, painful experiences and seeming injustices of life as she fights for hers.  Kate Bowler writes with honesty, wit and the bluntness I assume only one dying obtains as she questions doctors, God and well-intentioned friends and relatives.

While a student at Yale Divinity School, Bowler wrote her doctoral dissertation entitled Blessed:  A History of the American Prosperity Gospel.  THIS is what propels her current book from poignant memoir to fascinating study of human emotions and reasoning.  The infamous prosperity gospel promises health, wealth and happiness to those who pray enough, have faith enough and sin little.  Churches all over the country preach this message and Kate sat in many and interviewed preachers and parishioners of many others for her first book.  But just a few years after, she can’t reconcile these teachings to herself and her young family as they battle her incurable illness.  In her infirmary, she receives letters from all over the country written by people of varying theologies.  Some preaching that she is somehow spiritually lacking because she is suffering.  Others weathering storms of their own who’ve been further crushed under the weight of well-meaning folks insisting that gut-wrenchingly painful situations could simply disappear if he/she was somehow a better Christian.

 

Bowler’s title question begged me to respond, if for no other reason than the personal confirmation of my own faith.  Does everything really happen for a reason?  I can tell you that you won’t find that phrase in the Bible.  On the surface, I think this belief can make us feel better.  If you don’t spend too much time exploring it, this philosophy might help “make sense” of some seemingly senseless things.  But some things really are beyond all reason.  Cancer in children.  Sex-trafficking of innocents.  9/11.  There is no “reason” that makes sense of these unless that “reason” is simply that we live in a sinful and fallen world.  So there is no comfort in it if the reason isn’t good.

 

So where is our comfort when the pain defies logic?  Romans 8:28.  “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”  NASB  We may not always know why something happened, but the Bible tells us that God can, and will make good things happen from it.  Through the lens of pain and our limited human vision, it may take a while to see the good, but good WILL come.  It’s a promise.

 

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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