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Help for the Porn Problem

August 8, 2019 by Lauren 22 Comments

Photo by Wesson Wang on Unsplash

There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person.  In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of a person, but that it shows far too little.  from The Theology of the Body (there are many different written versions of this like this one).

 

This quote from Pope John Paul II kicks off a chapter on Pornography in A Practical Guide to Culture:  Helping the Next Generation Navigate Today’s World by John Stonestreet and Brett Kunkle.  I warned you here that I probably wasn’t done referencing this book yet.  If you have teens or tweens and haven’t picked it up yet, you definitely should.  In it, the authors quote Christian apologist Josh McDowell as saying, “The question is not ‘Will my kids see porn?’ but ‘How will they handle it when they do?'”  Frightening but true based on these statistics from The Covenant Eyes website:

*90% of boys and 60% of girls said they were exposed to pornography before the age of 18

*64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women admit to watching porn at least once a month.

*One out of every 8 online searches and one out of every 5 mobile searches is for porn.

*Pornography takes up 1/3 of the Internet’s bandwidth.

 

That last one knocked the wind out of me. 

With everything available on the internet, a full third of it is porn!

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Pornography used to be something found in plastic covered magazines behind the counter or hidden with a curtain at the video store.  But the internet has made it easy to find – even for those not looking for it.  And once you’ve seen it, studies show that it can be highly addictive, even changing the structure of the brain in similar ways to those of people addicted to drugs and alcohol.  Some of the ramifications of this type of addiction are distorted views of sexuality and risky behaviors, marital dissatisfaction and long lasting feelings of guilt and shame.  In addition to the personal damage porn causes, partakers of pornography are contributing to the ongoing problem of sex trafficking and the exploitation of women and children – whether they realize it or not.

 

With all of this at stake, we are wise to turn our attention to the possibility that anyone of any age can stumble into pornography on any computer or smart phone in reach.  There is help for the porn problem.  That’s why I want to tell you about a couple of companies doing good work to help the conscientious protect themselves and their children from the dangers of the internet.  Covenant Eyes, who provided the statistics listed above, provide screen accountability through monitoring, analysis and reporting for $15.99 per month on a family plan.  Their services are secure, private and comprehensive.  They offer customer support and a 30 day money back guarantee.  Check out their website here to see what protection and peace of mind they can provide.

 

The second company helps parents like me to easily monitor the phone, tablet or computer activity of children.  Before Bark, I checked up on my  teen’s phone by occasionally intercepting it and scrolling through texts, pictures and social media apps.  This was incredibly time consuming and inconvenient for everyone involved.  And yet I knew it was my responsibility to keep her safe.  Busy schedules and packed to-do lists often kept me from being timely and thorough.  But Bark monitors her texts, emails, social media accounts, internet searches and videos watched.  Bark claims to have the most coverage of any monitoring tool on the market.  Their technology scans and sends me an email every day of concerning activity.  And I decide what’s concerning to me.  The software detects language and images of a sexual, perverse, bullying or depressive nature.  I receive a snapshot of the infraction and then I decide how to address the issue.  No more reading through long text conversations and pouring over instagram.  My child has more privacy and I have more peace of mind.  It’s only $9 a month for the whole family and you can try for 7 days before you buy.  It is one of the best technology decisions I have made for our family.

 

Parenting in this age is hard, but there is help.  Authors Stonestreet and Kunkle recommend opening our eyes to “the breadth and depth of the consequences of porn” by reading The Porn Phenomenon:  The Impact of Pornography in the Digital Age, a study conducted by researchers from the Barna Group and Josh McDowell’s ministry.  You can also visit the National Center on Sexual Exploitation’s website for more information.  If you have questions about any of these resources, I would be happy to help in any way I can.  Comment below or email me at [email protected].  And join me in praying for us, our children and our nation concerning the issues of pornography and internet safety.

 

Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of sharing it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to make sure you see each week’s post, subscribe!

 

And look up these great writers I link up with every week:

InstaEncouragements, Literacy Musing Mondays, Hello…Monday,

Dream Team link up, The Good. The Random. The Fun.

BloggerClubUK, Tea and Word Tuesday, Purposeful Faith,

GraceFull Tuesday Link-Up, Different Dream,

Let’s Have Coffee, Welcome Wednesday, Recharge Wednesday,

Worth Beyond Rubies, #TellHisStory Link Up, Porch Stories,

Encouraging Word Wednesday, Tune In Thursday,

Stories of Hope, Moments of Hope, IHeart Verse Link Party,

A Blogging Good Time, Fresh Market Friday, Feature Friday Time,

Friendship Friday Blog Hop, Faith on Fire, Traffic Jam Weekend,

Faith ‘n Friends, Dancing with Jesus, Grace & Truth, Booknificent

 

Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links. If you purchase anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

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It Must Have Been the End of July

July 25, 2019 by Lauren 26 Comments

Teach us to number our days,
     that we may gain a heart of wisdom.Psalm 90:12 NIV

 

How is another month already drawing to a close?  Before you know it, the kids will be back in school.  (Shhh.  I whispered that last sentence as not to accidentally cast my youngest into the pit of despair.)   I started the month off by gettin’ my hair did.  If you don’t think that’s blog worthy, then your beauty operator (oh I’m giggling at myself now.  That’s what my grandmother used to call herself back in the day.) isn’t as good as mine.  I shouldn’t brag – or maybe I should.  She’s the talented one.  Not me.  And I am so fortunate that she is also a sister in Christ and a fabulous friend.  So appointments are anointed girl time.  I look AND feel good afterward.

 

The same day (a day of appointments)I had to start a brand new professional relationship.  A doctor I have been with for 16 years moved out of state.  She delivered Allie, she operated on me and Shelby, she went through breast cancer the same time I did and gave me the good advice.  Sigh.  Sad to see her go, but I’m starting over with one of her partners and praying for a fruitful association.

 

My little family celebrated our country’s independence with my in-laws.  My husband’s parents have a great house and property on a lake where the kids enjoyed skiing and tubing.  We ate good food, had great conversations with Chuck’s brothers and wives and played games.  The best part, though, is the fireworks show over the lake.  We can sit on the back deck or even in recliners in the air conditioned living room and watch the spectacle.  No heat, no crowds, no crazy drunks.  Just the show.  God Bless America.

 

Spider-Man:  Far From Home and Toy Story 4 drew us into the theater.  I give two thumbs up to both.  Or certify them fresh or whatever.  At home we watched A Little Bit of Heaven with Kate Hudson.  I had never heard of it. Probably because it has a few really cheesy scenes of an imagined heaven.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen this done well in a movie.  But it made me laugh and in the end bawl like my heart was broken.  So I guess it’s not all bad.

 

Our oldest baby Shelby turned 19.  My parents, sisters and their families came to celebrate with her and a Minnie Mouse cake.  I’m not sure how she has blessed this earth for that long already, but we don’t take it for granted.  Every time I hear of another child losing their battle with Dravet Syndrome I’m thankful for each and every day we get with her joy and laughter.

 

As a couple, Chuck and I are usually pretty socially lame, but we had 2 double dates this month.  Two!  And from one of them came this nugget:  “When your teenager comes home, always be happy to see them.”  You may be thinking that sounds simple and maybe even – duh.  But it was such a good word that I needed.  My friend also told me about complaining of  her teen’s attitude to another friend once who said to her, “Oh.  I didn’t know she was pregnant.”  My friend said, “Say what?”  The reply – “I didn’t know your girl was hooked on drugs.”  The point?  So your teenager has an attitude?  Whose doesn’t.  There are bigger fish you could be frying.  So I can be happy to see my girl.  Attitude or not.

 

I’m so thankful for new friends and growing friendships and wisdom and laughter and sharing. 

Community in Christ is where it’s at.

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It’s not always easy to come by and have time for.  So I’m eternally grateful.

 

I am currently reading free kindle books of funny memes because that is the extent of my current mental capacity.  My husband has worked a lot.  And I have worked a little for pay and a lot as volunteer uber and family activity coordinator (come quickly school year, come quickly).  Chuck is getting some intensive training right now for his new job and Allie is fully immersed into tryouts for high school volleyball.  May we all survive both and find ways to glorify God along the way.  Love you, thank you, and pray August treats you well.

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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