Lauren Sparks

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White Picket Fences – A Book Review and Giveaway!

November 8, 2018 by Lauren 30 Comments

I picked up Amy Julia Becker’s book White Picket Fences:  turning toward love in a world divided by privilege to supplement the journey I’ve been taking to better understand white privilege and the role I play in it.  You can read my freshman attempts at analysis here and here.  Ms. Becker is also walking this path and asking similar questions.

 

The author comes from privilege and affluence that even I can’t understand, but we are similar in our love for books.  She stocked her shelves with classics for herself and her children.  The Secret Garden, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables and many more.  But she slowly realized that the characters they contained were very white.  She searched for classics that would color a rainbow on her shelves and was distraught to find slaves and servants and dangerously displaced Native Americans.  She didn’t want to teach her children this version of race, but our history is unfortunately overflowing with it.  She determined that we needed to “wrestle with a complex past to help us write a different story for the future.”

 

Ms. Becker doesn’t claim to have all the answers.  In fact, she confesses to a fear of not knowing how to truly feel compassion, saying,  “Im afraid that I will always be set apart from people who do not share my advantages.  I am afraid that I am helpless to do anything about very real inequity.”  In response she researched the racial violence that appears all over the news of late and found that “police interaction with black men has not increased in recent years.  People like me – people who live in predominantly white America – have simply become more aware of it.”  And people like me.

 

In the life of her daughter with Down Syndrome, Amy Julia sees a glimmer of understanding for those who’s identity falls outside the norm.  She writes of realizing that had she lived in Nazi Germany, her daughter would have been taken away and killed, just as the Jewish people who were singled out – her wealth or white skin powerless to stop it.  I remember having the same type of revelation about my daughter Shelby when on Ellis Island for the first time.  If my family had come through as imigrants in the early years of our country, my husband and I would have been offered two choices.  1.  Leave Shelby in a “hospital” there and start our new life without her or 2.  Turn around and make the long and dangerous voyage back to whatever bad situation we came from – whether or not (probably not) we had the money for fare.

This book declares that, “We deface the image of God every time we disdain or abuse another human being.”  It’s message?  Every human is valued by nature of being known and loved by almighty God.  “It will take thousands upon thousands…to bow our knees and take up a posture of humility, of listening to others instead of insisting on hearing our own voices, of admitting our own complicity in harm, of opening our hands and hearts to healing even when it hurts.”  This book is not a solution to inequity.  It’s just a beginning.  And I definitely recommend beginning by reading it.

 

Tyndale House Publishers kindly provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.  I am giving away my copy to one reader of this post!  All you have to do is subscribe over on the right side of this page to receive my posts every week (and I promise I almost never send you more than one message a week).  If you are already subscribed – thank you so much! – you can still be entered by leaving a comment!  One commenter/ subscriber will be selected at random and notified via email next Friday November 16.  You can also purchase your own copy of the book here from Amazon or anywhere good books are sold.  If you choose to purchase this or anything else through my link, I will receive a small commission to help offset the costs of my website at no extra cost to you.  Thank you in advance!

 

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Mrs. Write

September 14, 2018 by Lauren 40 Comments

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

I recently chewed on the following question from someone:

“If you knew no one would ever read what you write, would you:

Not write at all

Write a bit less

Write a lot more?”

 

I don’t really know how to answer this.  I do know that the first option – not writing at all – is really no option for me at all.  I have loved writing almost as long as I can remember and my brain just thinks in terms of narrative and analogy and phrasing.

 

Poetry was my first love.  An elementary school assignment helped me discover that rhyming came easy for me.  I composed my first verses about the game of softball.  A ballad along the lines of “Casey at the Bat”.  At 9 years old, it’s what I knew.  And I still have it if you ever need a giggle.  In middle school, I wrote about what I longed to know – middle school boys.  My poems dripped with the weird feelings and angsty emotions I couldn’t really understand.  Impressed by my talents, my girlfriends even requested I write poems for them about the boys THEY liked.  I usually obliged.  I penned a few about my growing devotion for God, too.  But at the risk of sounding falsely righteous, unrequited love remained my favorite topic.

 

I joined the Creative Writing Club in high school (What?  It was cool…ish) and enjoyed assignments for English and Literature classes.  Until my senior year when my Honors English teacher tried to wring every ounce of creative zeal out of my body and leave me out to dry.  I know that sounds dramatic, but I don’t say it lightly.  Both of my parents taught public school in the same district I attended.  They frowned upon complaining about teachers, but sided with me on this one.  After a year of harsh critique and criticism, I burned out and took a break from pen wielding while enjoying all college had to offer (a little too much) and falling in love with my husband.

 

I got pregnant with Shelby during the first year of our marriage and kept a pregnancy journal for her.  During those months, jotting down what I experienced and felt for her reignited my passion for words.  So passionate was I, in fact, about that notebook that I frightened my poor husband to death with a wailing phone call after our new puppy chewed it up.  What can I say?  Pregnancy hormones.

 

As we made plans for me to stay home and care for our first child, we looked for ways to cut costs.  The relatively new, exciting and slow (remember dial-up?) internet offered me a job writing online devotionals for a Christian website.  Unfortunately, these folks were a little ahead of their time.  Not many people did their reading digitally in the year 2000 and the money ran out quickly.  But my first paycheck was the exact amount I owed my OB/GYN after taxes for delivering my baby.  Only God.

 

When we moved to the big city for Shelby’s medical care, a new church family blessed me by using my gift for articles and newsletters in the Women’s Ministry.  A few years later, a charitable organization offered us the opportunity to fund raise for research to benefit Dravet Syndrome in Shelby’s name.  I birthed a blog to help with those efforts called “Shelby’s Fast Feet”.  I wrote about her and this disorder and life as a special needs mom.  That blog became “The Sparks Notes” as I continued to write about Shelby but also felt called to share other details of my life and the ways God moves in it.  And now I continue to write about Jesus and family and friends and all the things here at laurensparks.net.

 

Several of you kind friends have asked me how I’m progressing with my latest passion project – writing a book.  The simple answer is…slow.  I let this frustrate me initially, but I refuse to allow it that power anymore.  The truth is I am a mom and a wife with 2 part time jobs.  And right now writing has to fit around the edges of all that.  And I’m writing about friendship.  So I’m not going to pass on the opportunity to share in fellowship and community with someone else so I can sit at the keyboard.  That defeats the purpose of the message I believe God is whispering through me.  And you know what?  The more time I spend with the material and the more time I spend with the real people, the more He opens my eyes to the incompleteness of the lessons He continues to teach me on community. 

God keeps molding me and writing the story He wants to tell.

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 In Ephesians 4:1 Paul says, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.”  So I keep living, and seeking and loving and typing, while waiting expectantly for the end result, which may be much different than the book I initially flushed out.

 

In the mean time, I write here, knowing that as long as I write to tell other’s about the love of Jesus, I walk in obedience to the call on my life.  So for those of you sweet enough to still be reading, stay tuned.  And if you want to grab coffee or lunch, I’m your girl.  Research, you know 😉

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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