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Identity Thief

November 12, 2015 by Lauren Leave a Comment

Posted by Lauren Sparks on September 2, 2015 at 5:15 PM Delete 
On July 11, 2000, I became what I always wanted to be – a mommy.  When Shelby was born, she looked nothing like I thought she would ( I was bald as a cue ball and she had a whole mess of dark hair); but she fulfilled my dreams.  I nursed her and cuddled her and sang to her and dressed her in adorable outfits with bows in her hair.  I fell head over heels in love with our perfect little family.  Until December 5.  She wasn’t even 5 months old, and we had to rush her to the hospital in full body convulsions.  A doctor who THOUGHT we were out of earshot opined to a colleague, “She’ll never be normal.”  In an instant, Dravet Syndrome stole my identity.  That was the first of many, many seizures and more hospital stays than I care to count.  And my life was forever changed.  Gone was the dream of being “just a mommy”.  I was now and forevermore would be a parent of a child with special needs.  I let the fear consume me.  Carefree cuddles were replaced with focused learning sessions.  Trips to the zoo were rescheduled to accomodate therapy sessions and doctor appointments.  Playing at the park was replaced by inside activities that protected her from the elements.  There were times Shelby’s condition filled my every waking thought and used my last ounce of energy.  I read, and researched and worried.  I wore the title “Special Needs Mom” like a badge and carried it before me, much like a banner in a parade.  I measured myself by how much I was doing for her and found my encouragement in the praise I received from others regarding how well I handled it all.  But when I put on this new identity, I lost the simple joys of being “mommy” – of just “being” with her.

But Dravet Syndrome would not be the only theif in my life.  Let me tell you about my job as a group fitness instructor.  There was a time when I ate, slept, and breathed it.  I was an athlete growing up, but never the star.  I was always a little big and a lot slow.  Not usually a stand-out and not often receiving praise for my hard work.  And in all honesty, sometimes I worked hard and other times, I just did the bare minimum required.  So as an adult, when I discovered my love of group fitness, I gladly ran (literally) with it.  I relished my active body and defined muscles and often thought, “if my school coaches could see me now – voluntarily working out.”  Pride had taken over where insecurity had once been and I LOVED it.  I enjoyed telling people I was a fitness instructor and measured my worth by how many classes I taught and how many people occupied them.  And honestly, that was pretty fun for a season.  But then I hurt my back.  And then I broke my foot.  And then I gained weight.  And then I tore my ACL and meniscus and had surgery.  I’m still a fitness instructor, but I’m out on medical leave of absence.  And I don’t really LOOK like a fitness instructor anymore.  In fact, I may as well lay it all out here in the open for you –  right now, I’m a little embarrassed to tell others that’s what I do.  It’s no longer fun to have this identity.

I read a blog this week and saw this:

Woah!  Oh how it reminded me of how many times I have (and still do) see myself through the lens of something I’m doing or even something I am instead of whose I am.  The only identity that lasts, the only title that matters, is SON OR DAUGHTER OF THE KING.  John 1:12 tells us “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”.  When we believe in Him and want to share our lives with Him, the Creator of the universe adopts us as HIs own.  We become co-heirs with Jesus.  He says, “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”  John 10:28  Did you hear that?  God holds you in his hand and nothing can remove you.  Like a supreme court justice – that’s a lifetime appointment.  A position you can’t be fired from.  Tenure.  And you will find so much more there.  More peace.  More security.  More love.  More fulfillment than you could ever imagine.  Where are you currently trying to find those things? If you aren’t sure, ask yourself, “What am I most proud of?”  or “What am I most wrapped up in?”  Are you a cheer mom?  A CEO?  A wife?  A PTA President?  A church staff member or ministry leader?  None of those are bad things.  But they should only be a small part of what makes you, you.  If you can’t honestly say that you find your identity in Christ, could you take a little time the next few days to read the Book of John in the Bible?  Don’t own one?  No problem.  You can look it up online.  Really read it and see what resonates.  See what questions it brings up.  And if you want to talk about it further, I would love to have you over for coffee.  I don’t have all the answers but we can explore together what it means to be a child of the King!

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Love is in the Air

November 12, 2015 by Lauren Leave a Comment

Posted by Lauren Sparks on August 11, 2015 at 3:35 PM Delete 
Last week, I had the opportunity to hang out with my adorable grandkids.  Yes, as young as I look – I do have grandchildren.  Two of them.  And two fosters at the moment!  So it’s a crazy and fun time to get to be with these 4 kids all age 3 and under.  While riding in the car, Chayton (the 3 year old) sponateously shouted from the back seat, “Lolly (yeah, I couldn’t bear to be called anything that sounds like GRANDMA at 38 years old when he was born), you’re my favorite.”  My heart got warm and gooey.  Yes, it melted.  And even though he said the same thing to his sweet mama 30 seconds later, you still couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face.  It feels good to be loved.  And the fact that Chayton loves his mama doesn’t take away from his love for me.  Sometimes we just need to hear “I love you,” or “you’re my favorite”.  Did you know the all-powerful God of the universe adores you?  He created you, He loves you, and He wills what is best for you.  So for those times when you need to hear those three precious little words, consult these passages from God’s Word – and let Him wrap His arms around you.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion.  Numbers 14:18a

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.  Deuteronomy 7:9

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!  The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  1 John 3:1

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.  1 Chronicles 16:34

The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.  Psalm 33:5

We love because he first loved us.  1 John 5:19

Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.  Psalm 36:5

May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.  2 Thessalonians 3:5

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us.  He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love:  not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  1 John 4:7-10

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  Ephesians 5:25

He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me; God sends his love and his faithfulness.  Psalm 57:3

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  Romans 5:5

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2

You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you…For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.  Psalm 86:5,13

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  Lamentations 3:22

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love. (Jesus’ words) John 15:9

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:37-39

For he chose us in him before the creation of teh world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will  Ephesians 1:4-5

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, make us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.  Ephesians 2:4-5

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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