Originally published May 7, 2013

Last week, Shelby had an evaluation for MDCP (Medically Dependent Children’s Program).  This is a state waiver program that Shelby benefits from.  Through it, she gets Medicaid as a secondary insurance and also receives respite hours for us to hire babysitters to help a few hours a week.  This program is a huge blessing.  It has not only saved us a ton of money, but provides lots of hands-on help with baths, homework, feeding, errands, and much needed breathers.  I can’t say enough how crucial this is to Shelby’s well-being and my sanity.  

Every six months, our case worker comes to the house with a nurse and we have to pull Shelby out of school so they can see her.  The purpose of the visit is to make sure that Shelby is still incapacitated enough to need their services.  The very first time we had one of these meetings, our then- case worker told me, “Now is not the time to brag on your child.”  For most of us, bragging on our children comes as natural as breathing.  For Shelby, bragging occurs over minute accomplishments – because that’s all we have.  She spontaneously strings 2 or even 3 words together.  She puts a blanket over her head to play peek a boo.  She gives an especially tight squeeze when she hugs.  She tries to jump with both feet off the ground.  Bragging rights for me.  But Mrs. Maxville was trying to protect us.  When filling out the questionaire, the less Shelby is able to do on her own, the more money for respite hours we will get.  So although we would never lie, she wanted to make sure we didn’t embellish or exaggerate Shelby’s accomplishments (what parent would do that?).  This year we were told that due to cut- backs, the program was looking for people to disqualify.  And after we finished the eval, we were told that we would definitely loose a few hours because Shelby doesn’t need to be turned during the night.  Apparently, last year our survey was marked in the affirmative on that question.  I don’t know why as Shelby has never needed to be turned and we would never say so.  Must have been a clerical mistake.  

This meeting made me think of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

The more helpless Shelby is, the more state resources we can use.  In much the same way, the more helpless we are as Christians, the more God can work through us.  This seems so counter-cultural.  Bragging comes more naturally than admitting weakness.  Even in Christian circles, we often have a hard time being authentic – choosing instead to put up a front.  Pretend that everything is ok or we might not look like good followers of Christ.  When the opposite is actually true.  The term “strong Christian” is really an oxymoron.  The more we admit our weakness and inability to do life on our own, the more Christ takes over and accomplishes much through us.  Just as Chuck and I have to be honest with Shelby’s lack of abilities (as depressing as that is to put on paper at times) in order to get the help she needs, we believers have to own our faults, sins and flaws so that God can fill them in and cover them over.  And only after we can admit what we really are, can others start to see Christ through our cracks.  

Originally published on April 25, 2013

Most of you probably know that Shelby is not potty trained.  She is only 21 months old developmentally, so maybe you can picture what it would be like to get a less-than-2 year old trained – and expect no accidents.  Since she has not grown in developmental age since she was 6, this is one of our challenges.  She has made great strides in this area in the past year.  For this we are proud.  She can stay dry for long periods of time and go potty on a schedule, but it’s not perfect.  So we still occationally have to deal with some “issues” that come from a 12 year old having to sit in her own stuff.  We are dealing with those issues today.  She has a little rash and infection (what?  too much information?).  We went to the doctor this afteroon and one of the things she suggested was putting Shelby in a warm, shallow bath with baking soda.  So that’s just what we did.  

Shelby has a handicapped accessible shower with a chair to make it easier for us to bathe her, so it was a big treat for her to get in my big tub and splash around.  She had a ball!  We threw a few toys in and I’m sure it felt like old times for her.  When the water started to cool, we helped her out, administered medication (we will just leave it at that), and put on her monkey pj’s.  Then as she scampered off to play, I started dinner preparations while Chuck sat down to relax.  In about 15 minutes, we started to hear Shelby whine.  The whine quickly became a cry.  Chuck, Allie and I jumped and ran at the same time to my bathroom.  Where we found her back in the tub – in her pj’s  And she had managed to turn the water back on, HOT.  She sat there and played until the water got uncomfortable and finally burned her skin.  It now looks like the lower half of her body spent the day in the sun.  What was a good thing with supervision and the wise care of her mom and dad, because dangerous when left to her own devices.  Shelby sat helpless in scorching water, realizing that it hurt, but unable to get herself out.  And when we did get her out, she was shaking from the shock.  

I am reading through the chronogical Bible this year with my church (yes, it’s related).  Shelby’s actions tonight reminded me of an account of King David’s in a reading from last week.  In 2 Samuel 24, David decides to take a census of Israel.  The passage actually tells us that Satan rose up and incited David to do it.  David numbered his army.  Is this a sin?  Not in and of itself.  God had even commanded it on two prior occasions.  The problem lied in the fact that God was not in it.  Whatever David’s motives were, they were not God pleasing.  And when we strike out on our own, without God, results will inevitably be either disappointing or even disastrous.  In David’s case, it lead to the death of 70,000 men.  For Shelby, a bath was healthy and healing.  Until she decided to do it on her own; then it became dangerous and painful.  NOTHING is good without God in it.  Without His direction and guidance, we will evenually find ourselves in hot water.  

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”  Psalm 127:1