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White Picket Fences – A Book Review and Giveaway!

November 8, 2018 by Lauren 30 Comments

I picked up Amy Julia Becker’s book White Picket Fences:  turning toward love in a world divided by privilege to supplement the journey I’ve been taking to better understand white privilege and the role I play in it.  You can read my freshman attempts at analysis here and here.  Ms. Becker is also walking this path and asking similar questions.

 

The author comes from privilege and affluence that even I can’t understand, but we are similar in our love for books.  She stocked her shelves with classics for herself and her children.  The Secret Garden, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables and many more.  But she slowly realized that the characters they contained were very white.  She searched for classics that would color a rainbow on her shelves and was distraught to find slaves and servants and dangerously displaced Native Americans.  She didn’t want to teach her children this version of race, but our history is unfortunately overflowing with it.  She determined that we needed to “wrestle with a complex past to help us write a different story for the future.”

 

Ms. Becker doesn’t claim to have all the answers.  In fact, she confesses to a fear of not knowing how to truly feel compassion, saying,  “Im afraid that I will always be set apart from people who do not share my advantages.  I am afraid that I am helpless to do anything about very real inequity.”  In response she researched the racial violence that appears all over the news of late and found that “police interaction with black men has not increased in recent years.  People like me – people who live in predominantly white America – have simply become more aware of it.”  And people like me.

 

In the life of her daughter with Down Syndrome, Amy Julia sees a glimmer of understanding for those who’s identity falls outside the norm.  She writes of realizing that had she lived in Nazi Germany, her daughter would have been taken away and killed, just as the Jewish people who were singled out – her wealth or white skin powerless to stop it.  I remember having the same type of revelation about my daughter Shelby when on Ellis Island for the first time.  If my family had come through as imigrants in the early years of our country, my husband and I would have been offered two choices.  1.  Leave Shelby in a “hospital” there and start our new life without her or 2.  Turn around and make the long and dangerous voyage back to whatever bad situation we came from – whether or not (probably not) we had the money for fare.

This book declares that, “We deface the image of God every time we disdain or abuse another human being.”  It’s message?  Every human is valued by nature of being known and loved by almighty God.  “It will take thousands upon thousands…to bow our knees and take up a posture of humility, of listening to others instead of insisting on hearing our own voices, of admitting our own complicity in harm, of opening our hands and hearts to healing even when it hurts.”  This book is not a solution to inequity.  It’s just a beginning.  And I definitely recommend beginning by reading it.

 

Tyndale House Publishers kindly provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.  I am giving away my copy to one reader of this post!  All you have to do is subscribe over on the right side of this page to receive my posts every week (and I promise I almost never send you more than one message a week).  If you are already subscribed – thank you so much! – you can still be entered by leaving a comment!  One commenter/ subscriber will be selected at random and notified via email next Friday November 16.  You can also purchase your own copy of the book here from Amazon or anywhere good books are sold.  If you choose to purchase this or anything else through my link, I will receive a small commission to help offset the costs of my website at no extra cost to you.  Thank you in advance!

 

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Working to Erase Racial Regret

March 4, 2018 by Lauren 8 Comments

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about what I was finally learning about white privilege.  You can read that post here.  Let me continue this conversation by saying emphatically that I DO NOT have this all figured out.  And I’m sure I will make missteps and mistakes on my quest to learn more and do better.  But based on the response I got to this topic, I thought I should update you on where I am headed as I’ve continued to seek the opinions of other believers in Jesus Christ.

 

In the previous piece, I admitted that I was at a personal loss on what I could do as one person of little influence to make positive changes in the area of racial reconciliation.  But through prayer, thought and study I have devised a punch list of first steps that I am taking.  Maybe they will help you too.

 

  1.  Listen.  I plan to allow others who are different than me to have their feelings.  Even if I don’t understand them.  I admit that in the not-too-distant past, I had a hard time believing many stories I heard of racial discrimination.  Please forgive what I am about to say, but I want to be transparent with my level of ignorance and naivete.  I honestly thought that most people who got easily offended by matters of race were carrying a chip on their shoulders from ancestors past.  I cannot tell you how much it pains me to admit it, but I thought we could irradicate hate if we all just learned to “let it go”.  I understand now how hurtful and short-sighted my views were.  And I hope that confessing my shortcomings and asking forgiveness is a step toward healing.  In a climate where we tend to shout our opinions over the voices of others, I vow to do a lot more listening and a lot less dismissing.
  2. I am evaluating all the circles I move in.  Here are the questions I’m contemplating.  Maybe you should too:  Do all of my “peeps” look like me?  Is my church racially diverse.  What about the other places I hang out?  For the most part, we tend to gravitate toward those who are most like us.  It’s comfortable.  There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but we miss out on how much we can learn from others’ perspectives when we never branch out.  I’m not suggesting we all pull a George Costanza and force a cross-cultural friendship just to prove we can (see the Seinfeld episode “The Diplomat’s Club” for reference).  Screen shot 2012-01-10 at 7.59.47 AMBut we should look for ways to shake up our routines enough to meet other’s who are racially, economically, culturally and religiously different.  You never know what worlds it could open up.
  3. I’m broadening my consumption.  I’m not talking about food.  I’m talking about what I feed my mind.  I realized recently that most of the books I read are written by white women.  What about you?  Who are you reading?  What kind of music do you listen to?  How about TV shows, podcasts, radio programs?  What about movies?  One of the hottest cinema tickets right now is “The Blank Panther”.  The reviews are beyond amazing and everyone who has seen it has raved about it.  And I love super hero movies.  But I’ve been reluctant to see it.  I initially couldn’t figure out why, but I think it is simply because the people don’t look like me.  So I’m afraid I won’t relate.  And I think I’m missing out!  So I’m going to go.  Have you seen it?
  4. Lastly, check out Be the Bridge at beabridgebuilder.com.  This organization is doing amazing things to equip God’s kingdom here on earth to work towards racial harmony.

That’s all I got for now.  I’m learning new things every day.  And I hope this message encourages you as well.  I would love to hear your thoughts on things you are learning and how your eyes and ears are being opened to the world of beautiful colors and ideas.  Be a part of the conversation by commenting on this post so we can all learn together.

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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