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You Know What They Say About Making Assumptions…and Grace and Truth Link Up

July 17, 2020 by Lauren 20 Comments

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,

Photo by Pedro da Silva on Unsplash

but only in expressing his opinion.  Proverbs 18:2 ESV

When you see someone’s teeth chattering, do you draw the conclusion that he is cold?  That’s what the nurses thought as they wheeled me into surgery for the first time at twelve years of age.  They piled warm blankets on me – one after another – until my mama astutely said, “she’s scared.”  Leave it to a mother to know.

 

Many moons ago, heavy with our first child; (I do mean heavy.  I gained enough weight to give birth to a fifth grader.) I shivered uncontrollably whenever my husband argued over the phone with our first wife about their son.  No, I never married her.  I say “our” first wife because we have always been in this thing together.  Those heated discussions caused me so much anxiety that I shook like I had a fever.

 

The first several days after my daughter broke her leg this spring, when she changed positions her molars knocked together at an alarming rate.  The cause – pain.  Fear, anxiety, pain.  Add cold temperatures and fevers, and we have at least five completely different causes for the same action.  Yet we tend to make assumptions about chattering teeth – among other things.

 

My teenage daughter and I are pretty different.  I think I mentioned this before.  Like here and here and here and…you get the idea.  We butt heads occasionally (ok, that’s a mild understatement) as I try to “get” her.  For example,  I possess an inability to procrastinate.  If I know I need to get something done, I must tackle it immediately and put it to rest.  Anything else causes me anxiety.  My girl is a major procrastinator – even with regards to things she supposedly enjoys.  She scrolls on her phone and listens to music or plays her ukulele until she is sitting on top of a deadline.  Practicing a sport, finishing homework, perfecting her choir music – it all gets pushed down the road until she can’t push it any longer.  This drives me bonkers!

 

Through the years I have complained and moaned to my husband about our lazy, unmotivated child.  Mind you, this kid makes straight A’s and aces advanced classes, excels in choir and takes leadership roles in both church and extracurriculars.  But because she procrastinates, I think she’s lazy!  Until the coronavirus lockdown.

 

Self-isolation allowed me to spend a lot more time with my girls.  Some good times.  Some challenging times.  And its taught me something about the youngest.  The earlier she tackles a project, the more time she has to think about it, second guess it and doubt herself.  Anxiety, not sloth drives her to wait.  The more I push her to work on something, the higher her anxiety climbs.  As I watched her begrudgingly handle online schooling, I see that she gets to things in her own timing.  And typically does a good job.

 

Being johnny-on-the-spot keeps my anxiety in check.  Moving too quickly on something causes hers.  So I am learning to keep my timelines to myself – even if I have to bite my nails to do it.  And it is making a big the difference in our relationship and my frustration.  All because I understand her a little better.

 

You know what they say about making assumptions!  Do you have any  you need to challenge today?

 

And now for this week’s featured post!

 

With a bored 15 year old daughter at home this summer, I took personal interest in 10 Books Every Christian Teen Girl Should Read in Summer 2020 by Joyce Cortes Mackenrath of unshakeablejoy.com.  Saying a prayer that one of these will help tear my girl away from her phone!

 

Now for this week’s link-up! Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord.

Grace & Truth : A Weekly Christian Link Up

Grace & Truth exists to point people to Jesus! We hope this link-up will be a source of encouragement every week. If you’re a blogger, we hope you’ll use this space as a way to meet new friends within the Christian blogging community. If you’re a reader, we hope that you’ll encounter new bloggers that love Jesus as much as you do! Most of all, we hope you’ll meet Jesus here.

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Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

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Your Hometown…and Grace and Truth Link Up

July 10, 2020 by Lauren 22 Comments

You may have seen on this blog a time or two that I watched the mini series Little Fires Everywhere.  I remain fascinated by it.  Brene Brown, a sociologist whose research I also find fascinating, recorded two podcasts about the show and the novel it was based on.  I downloaded and listened to them right away.

 

In one episode, Brown interviewed the book’s author.  The second featured Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington, the lead actors in the Hulu series.  During both, the insightful host introduced an interesting concept – your hometown as a character in your story.  The author set the book in her own hometown, Shaker Heights, Ohio.  This picturesque hamlet is one of the first planned communities in the United States.  Designers thought themselves very progressive by voluntarily integrating before most of the rest of the country.  At that time, racial unrest and violence had already occured.  This dark past was pushed under a rug as financing became available for black residents to move into white neighborhoods and vice versa.  Buses carried white students to black schools and black students to white schools.

 

The self-satisfied occupants of Shaker Heights claimed to be color blind and ignored differences and previous history in favor of looking the part of an equality based utopia.  Because of this, the Shaker Heights community still struggles with the same issues of race and class we see in the rest of the nation.  It strives to maintain the picturesque facade with rules.   The lawns can be only 2 inches, and house paint color is regulated.  In the movie, Mia’s rent house displays the importance of appearance.   The duplex, from the outside, looks like a single family residence.  But physically and metaphorically, slapping a coat of paint on something without fixing the foundation makes for a problematic existence.

 

I realize that my family of origin, other people I surrounded myself with and many other factors helped mold my morals, beliefs and overall worldview.  But I decided to take a look at my own hometown and try to analyze how it might contribute.

 

I was born in Waco, Texas (which refers to itself as the Heart of Texas) in 1973.  Waco occupies space about halfway between Dallas and Austin.  I could get to either one in about 90 minutes by car.  So even though the population measured just a little over 100,000 in the town proper, big city attractions sat in easy reach.  Now, years later, Waco is it’s own attraction thanks to the rise of the Gaines family and Fixer Upper.

 

The name Waco comes from the Hueco Indians, an arm of the Wichita.   They occupied a village there until white settlers drove them out.  In 1912, a prominent citizen brought back a group of the Hueco to participate in an exhibition of the city’s annual Texas Cotton Palace Exposition and Fair.  (The Cotton Palace Pageant still exists today.)  Event planners fabricated a village of teepees for them to live in, taught them war dances to perform and dressed them in a strange conglomeration of modern and native clothing.  In 2014, over 100 years later, city leaders and historians invited tribal leaders back to work on restoring connections and developing better relationships.

 

With these racially nefarious underpinnings, I wanted to research Waco’s historical relationship with black Americans.  In 1916, a black teen confessed to murdering a white woman and was tortured, mutilated and burned to death.  In what is now called the “Waco Horror”, 15,000 spectators watched including police and the mayor.  Officials made strides toward repentance 100 years later by finally publicly condemning the lynching.

 

In spite of these things, people of different colors lived harmoniously all around me.  The north side of town (my neighborhood) was a former air force base.  The military originally established the school I attended for air force families and was, therefore, integrated many years before other schools in the area.  And until 1990, Waco was home to Paul Quinn College, the oldest Historically Black College west of the Mississippi.

 

Waco is also home to Baylor University – the oldest and largest Baptist school in the United States.  It’s nickname?  Jerusalem on the Brazos.  And churches of different denominations line the streets there.  It’s no surprise that my Christian doctrine leans toward the conservative.

 

I could explore much more here.  From the serious – this mostly middle class area did not prepare me for the challenges of living in a more affluent area with a more affluent mindset.  To the silly – Dr. Pepper was born there.  I worked at it’s museum and love the sweet beverage still.  It’s all more than you would care to read.  But my introspection begs me to ask if you’ve ever considered your hometown as a character in your story.

 

Can you think of one characteristic of your hometown that may have shaped who you are or something you believe?  I would love to hear about it in the comments.  Please.  I’m bored here in quarantine.  😉

 

And now for this week’s featured post!

 

I don’t know what it’s like to have Fibromyalgia, but I do know what crippling disappointment feels like.  Maybe you do to?  Especially right now?  Click over and read what Jennifer Ross of teawithjennifer.blog has to say in the post Layers of Disappointment.  Her experience + the encouragement of God’s word spoke to my tired, frustrated soul.  Thanks for ministering to me, Jennifer.

And thanks for sharing!  Here’s a button for your blog:

 

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Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

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About Me

I love Jesus, my husband and caffeine. The order of these can change depending on how tired I am. When my two daughters, stepson, and 4 grandchildren get to be too much, I practice yoga. God graciously allows me to share our adventures, victories and flub-ups from my laptop. May He be glorified here.
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