Lauren Sparks

The Sparks Notes

Why I Love Snow Days

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 Posted by Lauren Sparks on March 6, 2015 at 12:30 AM Delete 
I know some of you – especially those living farther north than this Texas girl – are over snow days…x 10.  But this is only our third one of the year – and I am reveling in it.  Since last night was my turn to take care of Shelby and the five seizures that she had between midnight and 6am, I started the morning by sleeping in.  Bliss.  And as I ate a bite of breakfast and watched the news, I saw a man interviewed who commented that he loved the snow because it was peaceful.  Peaceful.  I can’t stop thinking about it.  Yes.  That is what is so great about snow days.  They force everyone to slow down.  We don’t go anywhere unless we absolutely have to.  We rest, we spend time together as a family, we enjoy our nice warm home and cups of coffee.  When you look outside, the streets are empty.  Most cars are parked and the neighbors aren’t hurrying about.  I know that not everyone gets a snow day off or chooses to stay home and rest, but looking out my front door this morning, it’s obvious that the stress and busyness that often robs us of our peace is on hiatus.

Now, when snow days stretch to two or three (or more) days, this peaceful, easy feeling (to quote the Eagles) starts to dissolve. Allie gets bored.  I start to crave some movement.  Shelby empties every dresser drawer and book shelf and the clutter causes me to loose my mess.  And so it is in our daily lives.  Circumstances can cause us to feel peaceful.  When things are going well.  When there is cushion in your bank account.  When you are getting enough rest.  When everyone is healthy.  When your skinny jeans fit.  When all cylinders are firing, it’s easy to feel at ease.  But in this broken world, that kind of circumstantial tranquility is very temporary.  The only true and lasting peace comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ.  “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.  Isaiah 54:10  When you have allowed Jesus to forgive you of your sins and take the top spot in your heart, you can have peace, security and contentment, regardless of what this world throws at you.  That doesn’t mean you won’t ever get angry or sad or discouraged.  It means you have the assurance of an all-powerful, loving God in your corner.  He will always be with you and will always be working to your best interest.

Try to enjoy some rest today.  And please message me if you would like to hear more about peace in Jesus.

“But he was pierced for your ransgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”  Isaiah 53:5

In Response to: “The Unseen – Siblings of Special Needs Kids

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Posted by Lauren Sparks on February 28, 2015 at 8:00 PM Delete 
A blog was posted a few days ago that broke my heart in two.  It was written by the mom of a child very much like Shelby.  She has a severe seizure disorder and has failed every anticonvulsant she has ever tried.  She has lots of other related medical and developmental issues as well.  I have so much respect for this mom who is traveling a difficult road and writing about it so honestly and eloquently.  This week’s post was not about her special needs daughter, but about her “typical” daughter.  She referred to siblings of “special” kids as “invisible” and “the unseen”.  The plea in her words was for her daughter to know that momma sees her.  That she is noticed and appreciated for all that she is.  I understand this fear.  Almost 2 years ago, we sent our typical daughter to a counselor.  She wasn’t exhibiting any behaviors that we were concerned about, but I wanted to make sure that we weren’t missing anything.  We wanted assurance that she wasn’t being burdened beyond what she could bear.  We hoped that she didn’t feel resentful towards her sister, but that if she did – we could have the help of a professional to deal with those feelings.  At the time, the counselor felt like Allie was handling everything well and there was nothing we needed to worry about.  But not long ago, Allie went through a stage of repeated and exaggerated illnesses and injuries.  We finally got her to admit that she was seeking some of the attention Shelby gets for being “sick”.  And thankfully, this phase was short-lived.

While I believe it is important to keep one eye peeled on typical siblings for signs of distress, I have found it even more significant to focus on the things Allie has GAINED as a result of having Shelby in her life.  And lest you think this is just an excuse to brag about my child, it is.  But I also have some observations about siblings of special needs kids that are relatively universal.  When you grow up with a medically fragile family member, you have patience forced upon you.  You become strong, mature, resilient, and tolerant.  And one of the best qualities I’ve seen?  Compassion.  As they learn to help care for their siblings, they learn to care for others.  The first week that Allie was in kindergarten, a sweet boy named William with Angelman’s syndrome came into her class.  One of the other students asked their teacher what was wrong with William.  Allie – not even knowing what William’s condition was – raised her hand and educated the whole class.  She proclaimed that there was NOTHING WRONG with William.  He had special needs, just like her sister.  And that just meant he was a little different.  After that she was often buddied with William on the playground and has continued to volunteer to partner with him throughout their elementary school education.

Most recently, my 10 year old Allie went with us to the state capital to lobby for the right to treat Shelby with medical cannabis.  We talked to Representatives, Senators and staff members.  Allie would jump right in to every discussion, and before the day was over, she wanted to be allowed to give our entire spiel.  Senator Pat Fallon asked her if she was 15 years old, and Representative Susan King asked her if she was a professional lobbyist being paid for this gig!  Everyone remarked on how well spoken she was and what a good sister as well.  I was sooooo proud of her.

So though I understand the fears that our typical kids will feel left out or slighted in some way, I want to commend all the mommas who are juggling special needs and typical kiddos.  Some days it feels like the hardest job in the world.  But some days I wonder why I got to be the lucky one who gets to parent Shelby and Allie – two of the most amazing kids I know.  

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