| Posted by Lauren Sparks on September 9, 2013 at 6:10 PM | I can’t remember if I have already shared with you that I am reading through the Bible chronologically this year with my church family. So you are either hearing it again, or for the first time. Yesterday, I started reading Job. This book is an interesting read for anyone who has ever wondered why bad things happen to good people. I want to preface my next statement by saying that I, in no way, would compare myself to the righteous Job. And I don’t think I would have handled his tragedies half as faithfully as he did. In fact, I don’t possess a scientific mind at all, but I’m pretty sure that in his shoes I would have been able to figure out how to invent Prozac or Zanex or some similar pharmacology to cope. But when Shelby was younger and her condition was even harder to manage than it is now, I was often asked how I could hold onto my faith throughout the bad days (and there were more bad than good then). In Chapter 2 of Job, he tells his wife that we can’t accept the good from God and not the bad. That is how I feel. Hardships are part of living in this fallen world and who are we to decide who is deserving of them and who is not? I just don’t believe that’s how it works. I do remember getting mad at God once. One time in the last 13 years do I remember thinking that something was His fault and He could have done something to stop it. Shelby was having another seizure. Nope, that’s not what I got mad about. Shelby was using a walker back then because of difficulty getting around. So when she started seizing, I hoisted her on the little seat and was pushing this walker down the bumpy side walk to home as fast as I could go while trying to balance her body so she wouldn’t fall over. And right about the time I was sweating bullets and wondering if I was going to drop her, a bird pooped on her head. Yep. That was the last straw for me. It seemed like more than our fair share at that moment. But I believe that God simply forgave me for forgetting about all the other things he was doing to care for us. I don’t think God minds at all when we are mad at Him. As long as we are still talking to Him about it! |
In our life with Dravet Syndrome, the issues aren’t always so dramatic as that one. Do you want to know what is bothering me right now? I can’t have throw pillows. This is top of mind for me right now because I am redecorating my den, and I can’t have throw pillows and other decorative things that other people take for granted because Shelby won’t leave them alone. She will constantly throw them on the floor (because although she does understand “no”, she doesn’t have the capacity to remember from hour to the next what the “no” was referring to). I will constantly pick them up. They will be an ongoing source of frustraton instead of a cute accent. In the “Job” scheme of things, throw pillows are small. But I am thankful that not all facets of this Syndrome are monstrous. Some are devastating. Some are merely annoying. But if we put our faith in Jesus, we have a promise in 2 Corinthians 4:17. “For our light and momentary troubles are acheiving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” We will all go through seasons where our troubles are “throw pillows”. Annoyances. Minor difficulties in our otherwise good days. And we will have times of “seizures and bird poop”. Times when we feel like we’re drowning with no one to help. Sometimes we won’t even feel like God is there. But He is. And He promises us that our troubles are “momentary”. They won’t last forever. “So fix your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Cor. 4:18