best friend Archives - Lauren Sparks

I subscribe to one of those “word of the day” email services. It’s cheesy, I know, but as a writer I hope to continue growing my vocabulary. At least I intend to. I have a custom folder on my app that I tuck these emails in every day. I keep thinking I will search through it and study these words, but I have yet to give them a second look. One word this week caught my attention and captured my imagination: whetstone – 1. a stone used for sharpening edged tools, knives, etc. 2. something that sharpens. (thefreedictionary.com)

This word immediately brought Proverbs 27:17 to mind. As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. NLT

Community hasn’t always been easy for me. I tend to romanticize ideas about friendship. My very best friend lived with me in college. We not only resided together, we worked together, went to church together and played together. She was the peanut butter to my jelly. In my imagination, our families could share a compound today and get along famously. But alas, she lives 672 miles away.

More than a few years ago, when little children kept me occupied in mind and body, I let our friendship fall by the wayside. I didn’t see how we could stay close across those miles. But I thought I HAD to have a best friend. So I set out to replace her. But I soon learned that forging bonds like that as an adult presents lots of challenges. Young moms lack the kind of time one must spend with another to know each other from natural hair color to past dating disasters and around to deep, dark secrets.

I tried, though. Dearest, did I try. I got myself into unhealthy relationships because someone would call me “best friend”. When friends dared to have other friends, I threw myself a jealous pity party! I was one step away from an attachment disorder. Most certainly, I was a disaster. My unrealistic expectations lead me to some lonely times. I’m not certain what snapped me out of this friendship funk. Maybe God performed a miraculous healing, or maybe I just grew older and wiser (hence why I can’t remember).

Thankfully, I woke up to the different ways a friendship can look. I reconnected with my bff across the miles. Mobile phones calls, Facetime and texting – although never enough to suit me – now keep us as close are those two college kids in my memories. And the couple of times a year we do get to see each other in person, well, it feels like going home.

God helped me to also embrace the idea of having multiple friends of varying levels of intimacy. I have a fun neighborhood friend who likes to play games and double date with our husbands. She sits next to me at church every Sunday. She also made a guest appearance on the blog a couple of weeks ago after I spit on her (mortifying and hilarious story here). I connected with another lady who challenges me to constantly consider what I believe and why. We read books together and entertain deep discussions and we laugh.

I met a friend in chemo who has absolutely nothing in common with me except a love for the Lord and our history of breast cancer. She now sits on my other side at church every week. I bonded with someone else over hard, hard things. She’s a counselor and gives the great advice when I need it. My hairdresser is a fantastic listener. So I started confiding in her and she confided me in. Now I get sacred friend time and a fantastic cut and color in the same hour. I also have my very first friends. My sisters and my mom.

You get the picture, right? Community is vital. Each and every person adds something different and important to my life. And prayerfully, hopefully, I serve them as well. They bring me immeasurable joy. I wholeheartedly believe that God uses these ladies (many who have never met) to make me sharper, funnier, better read and more thoughtful. Most importantly, they make me more like Him.

I would love it if you would share in the comments what friendship brings to your life.

And now for this week’s featured post!

I am just getting to know Wemi Omotosho as a writer, but I am so enjoying her voice in the blogosphere! Her strong encouragement in Loud was just the shot in the arm I needed this week. Visit her blog Reflections in the Mess: Connecting with God Through a Messy Life to learn, to absorb art and to be inspired. Thank you, Wemi, for linking up with us and grab a badge below for your website!

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
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HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
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LAUREN SPARKS
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LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
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It’s finally starting to feel like fall here in the South. And I’d like to start my monthly muster by telling you another way (besides the cooler air) that God showed His kindness to us. Believe it or not, it involves helping someone move. During the last two and a half years, my hard-working husband experienced some pretty intense and repeated job upheaval, so the coffers are a little thinner than in previous years. What we do have, though, is an extra vehicle because the hubs now has a work truck. So we have two full size pick up trucks. And God has provided multiple ways for us to be generous with this truck when we can’t be generous with funds. So kind.

Chuck and I got dressed up to finally attend the Double Down for Dravet, a fundraiser for the Dravet Syndrome Foundation. Spending time with fellow families and hearing one of our favorite docs talk about how close we are to a cure for the condition my daughter suffers from made for a great night. My daughter also had her first high school homecoming. For those of you not from Texas, that is a mum she has tied around her neck. I don’t know how to describe it exactly except to say it is a thing. If you like to laugh while you learn, my friend Heather wrote a great post about homecoming mums here.

My best friend flew in for a weekend we have been looking forward to for six months. We did a wood sign painting class, watched Baylor (Sic ‘Em!) and Dallas football and went to a Popcast Live Show. If you don’t listen to the Popcast podcast with Knox and Jamie, you are missing out on about 100 laughs a week. My BFF and I connect across multiple states over this weekly ritual and the live version was, although more expensive, much more fun. And I only cried a little when I put her back on the plane.

Allie had her first official high school choir concert and we are sooooo excited about her future her musical endeavors. Shelby bowled in the Special Olympics area meet and brought home a bronze medal. I think she likes the medals even more than the bowling. Our church threw a 20th anniversary celebration for our neighborhood with food, games, rides, magic shows and an outdoor service. After attending, serving and playing, we made an exhausted b-line to Sonic for Route 44’s.

I’m always happy to see the return of fall TV. A new This is Us season always debuts the week of my birthday. Because God is good. We are trying a couple of new shows. Bob hearts Abishola is a cute 30 minute sitcom and Almost Family fascinates me in a train wreck/can’t look away sort of thing. Time for reading mostly eludes me. I fall asleep entirely too quickly. I did start Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter, but have yet to finish. And I’ve been re-reading The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery in order to lead a discussion of it with a group of friends. The Enneagram is having a moment. If you haven’t looked into all the fuss, I highly recommend this book. I even wrote a review of it here.

I picked up a new snack on a whim while standing at the check out. I couldn’t find the exact flavor online, but these are close. These chips are yummy but the flavor is strong. And there has not been a gum or mint yet invented that can handle the breath they left me with. I had to basically start my day all over with a brush and floss!

The rest of our month feels like it took place in one doctor’s office or another. Allie has continued follow up and therapy for her concussion and, although not fully released, is working diligently to catch up on the school work she missed while impaired. Shelby moved to a less restrictive version of the drug trial she continues to benefit from. Yay! Chuck, now that he is 50, started his grown up journey to longevity by finally scheduling with a primary care doc. A family member endured a big surgery (I don’t want to tell someone else’s story – hope you understand), and the whole family suffers from congestion and cough.

To finish the month on a fun note, the winner of the Quest Q and A Study Bible is Leslie Coffey! Please check your email for details on getting your prize! Thank you to all who subscribed to enter. I hope you will stay for the fellowship. And…I dressed up for Halloween with my co-workers. Can you guess what I am? Drop your comments below. I know it’s punny, but I just can’t help myself. And I love you, I thank you, and I hope November treats you well.