Dear Teenage Daughter,
You aren’t entitled to obey only when you feel like it.
You aren’t entitled to make all your own decisions.
You aren’t entitled to an allowance without contributing to the chores in our household.
You aren’t entitled to stay out as late as you want.
You aren’t entitled to all the fineries and material goods that your friends can afford.
You aren’t entitled to free speech at the expense of others’ feelings.
You aren’t entitled to a 24 hour parent ATM.
You aren’t entitled to treat your parent like an on-call uber, cook or maid.
You aren’t entitled to take your anger and frustration out on those who love you.
And you aren’t entitled to the freedoms of adulthood with none of the responsibility.
But Dear Teenage Daughter,
I am not entitled to reciprocate when you lash out.
I am not entitled to a stress and drama-free home.
I am not entitled to build a protective bubble to keep you from hurting or stumbling.
I am not entitled to singular control over my time and resources.
I am not entitled to a clutterless existence.
I am not entitled to make all your decisions for you.
I am not entitled to discipline out of pride or anger.
I am not entitled to lay on a guilt trip when you’d rather not be with me.
I am not entitled to behavior from you that makes me “look good”.
And I am not entitled to keep you a little girl forever.
But just maybe, there is enough grace to cover us both. I love you.
For of His fullness [a]we have all received, and [b]grace upon grace. John 1:16
Now for this week’s featured post!
People are Hard to Hate Up Close by Laurie Hess of Meditations in Motion.
Laurie has said here what I have struggled to say before, with a great personal story touch and even a social media call to action! Let’s get personal, drop the generalities and love each other better. Click here to read the post.
Now for this week’s link-up! Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord.
Grace & Truth exists to point people to Jesus! We hope this link-up will be a source of encouragement every week. If you’re a blogger, we hope you’ll use this space as a way to meet new friends within the Christian blogging community. If you’re a reader, we hope that you’ll encounter new bloggers that love Jesus as much as you do! Most of all, we hope you’ll meet Jesus here.
Join us each Friday for the Grace and Truth Link-Up!
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Maree Dee
Lauren Sparks
Heather Hart & Valerie Riese
Lisa Burgess
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❤️ was a this! The teenage years are rough (we have two daughters). Keep her close, but let her try her wings. Pray hard. She’s almost ready to transition to your best friend!
Thank you for this encouragement, Anita.
Okay. I needed this. Only, it’s my teenage son. We’ve needed a lot of grace this week. 🤦🏼♀️
I’m sorry the week has been hard. We all experience it. Praying for you both right now.
So much wisdom in this post. And amen to grace for all of us.
Thank you, Barbara. And amen!
Oh, Lauren…if only I could have read this when I had teenagers. What a wise and loving post.
Thank you for the feature!
Thanks, Laurie. And you are more than welcome. I loved your post.
THIS!!! I like how it goes both ways. Both parents and daughters. I am sooo sharing this! #trafficjamweekend You are my choice for this weeks link up!
Thank you so much, Tracy! I appreciate it so much.
I love this. It definitely rings true for me and my teen daughter. Thanks for linking up with Hello Monday! Tanya – The Other Side of the Road
Loving a teen is hard and painful and beautiful and rewarding. For sure.
I’ve raised 2 teenage daughters and have a 3rd one right now and these really are not my issues. Not sure if it’s cultural or us applying the Word differently. I’m not saying they were perfect but somehow we made it work.
I wasn’t this teenage girl either, so maybe that shapes my perspective.
You are truly bless, Nylse. Thanks for weighing in.
I love this list of things neither parent nor child are entitled to. That keeps us all in the realm of grace.
Laurie’s post made a big impression on me too. I appreciate her honesty. We all have people in our lives that can do some atrocious things (and sometimes those people are us).
Thanks for weighing in, Lisa!
Oh my goodness, I have tears! Love it!
Thank you, Nicole!
Lauren, I needed to read this. I am not entitled to my daughter living her life the way I want her to. I have to let her be her own person. Thank you so much for sharing this! Pinning and sharing.
I keep having to remind myself of those things, Angela!
Second post I’ve read today about teens. The teen years can be so challenging—especially with girls and all the girl drama! I remember. I also remember how difficult I was as a teen. I regret how I treated my sweet mama back then. I love her so much now. Thanks for these reminders and for hosting the link-up!
Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
I agree, Patsy! Thanks for reading and commenting.
dear lauren … i would have loved to receive this note when I was a teen … and would have loved to have sent it to my girls when they were making their way through that difficult season.
bless you for sharing it now …
Thanks, Linda. I did share it with my 15 year old. She appreciated hearing it.
Love the lists. Each sides must compromise for both to win.
So right, Theresa.
What a beautiful letter to your daughter. I could have written a similar letter when my sons were teenagers. It is good to think about the give and take of parenting and being a child and the fact there is grace enough for both.
Thank you, Mary.
Wow, Lauren! That is extraordinarily powerful! While I do not have teenagers, this is super helpful to me as well as my little guys have been challenging me daily! Such great perspective. Thanks for sharing and linking up.
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Thank you, Shelbee. Glad it is helpful!
When I read one of your articles yesterday, I noticed your link to Top 10 posts in the sidebar and opened it in another tab that I’m just getting to today…and I’m glad I did! This is lovely. It’s so important to respond to feeling annoyed by teens, by demonstrating the calmness and balance we want them to learn, and that can be difficult if we get too hung up on “deserving respect” instead of being humble and showing respect where it’s appropriate.
My son is 16 now. He’s normally very social, so the pandemic has been difficult for him, and he isn’t satisfied with “socializing” with his parents and little sister. He has been allowed to see individual friends on a very limited basis, with the rules tightening when infection rates in our county go up. Sometimes he says he’s “going for a walk” and then he’s out for hours–is he really walking around alone all that time, or is he at someone’s house or even a party?? It is hard to accept that we don’t know and have to trust him. It is hard to trust what he says about being careful. But if we don’t trust him, he’ll be motivated to rebel; I know that’s how it worked for me as a teen! I’ve done a lot of praying for God to guide him and to guide my discernment about what we should allow.
I wrote this when my son first became a teenager and so many people reacted as if this was certain to be the worst stage of parenthood. I predicted that some things would get worse and some would get better, just like in all the other stages of his life so far, and that’s how it’s been going. At the moment I’m amazed at how responsible he is about remote learning–we don’t have to do anything but make sure he’s awake on time and fix his lunch!–and how he’s getting straight A’s in courses that are the same or more difficult than what I did at his age. Odds are he’ll turn out just fine–and so will your daughter. May God’s grace be with you!
Wow. Thanks so much for the kind words about the blog and the encouragement about parenting. It feels so much harder now even than when I wrote that. But we pray and persevere. Hopping over now to see your post. Thank you for linking it to your comment!
Thank you for the feature!