Lauren Sparks

The Sparks Notes

May Had No Margin!

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Busy, busy, busy.  That is the life of every mother of school-aged kids during the month of May.  But having a graduating senior kicks up the activity and brings the down time to zilch.  I kept reminding myself through it all that I shouldn’t complain.  In a week’s time I’ll be wondering if there is ANYTHING on the calendar.  But right now it feels like there is no margin.  And did I mention I have a graduating senior? It may take me awhile to get through this post.  Please send chocolate!

 

I started off the month helping plan a baccalaureate service for our seniors, explained in a previous post.  Then helped feed Allie’s musical theatre class as they practiced for her last theatre show of the year – Musical Revue.  Such a fun show from a talented group of kids.  I was unprepared for the seniors to take the stage and sing “Thank You for the Music” by ABBA to their parents and teachers.  My daughter’s solo line?  “She says I began to sing long before I could talk…” sang while looking at me!  And it’s pretty much true.  I may or may not have gone back and listened to that song again when I needed a good cry.

 

More Activities

 

At Senior Awards night, my girl received a scholarship from our district’s education foundation and an AP Distinguished scholar award.  (Please don’t turn this post into a drinking game with the word “senior”.  I would fear for your health.)  And at the theatre banquet she won the Super Singer superlative and another scholarship!  Along with the distinction of being in the cast of the best show of the year.  So fun!  And the next night she was directing a one act play of Tangled, which was darling.  No coasting toward graduation for this girl.  She is packing in as much as possible before she goes.  No margin!

 

After church on Mother’s Day Allie and I went shopping for gear she needs to work at a summer camp for kids and adults with special needs.  A six week commitment.  Right after graduation.  But I’m okay.  It’s all fine.  I didn’t get what I wanted for Mother’s Day (to veg on the couch after church and have a Gilmore Girls marathon) but I did get to spend some time with her, which is at a premium these days.

 

And More Activities

 

Allie had a banquet for her Peer Assisted Leadership group.  The hubs and I didn’t get to go to that one, but were beaming with pride at the superlative she got:  “Most Likely to Put God First”.  I think some of the kids meant it as a jab.  Little did they know it’s the ultimate compliment.  And the choir booster awarded her another scholarship at the final concert of the year.  So grateful.

 

We all had fun at Allie’s choir banquet.  Even Shelby!  She got to go for the first time and loved the dancing and mashed potatoes!  We were invited to and attended several graduation parties for our daughter’s friends.  Always a fun time to celebrate these great kids.

 

Allie Rose and two of her longtime friends and fellow choir members led worship for their senior baccalaureate.  They did amazing and God was glorified.  Pray with me that anyone there who does not know Jesus received a message and will seek Him.

 

And on Monday my girl left for her summer job at Camp Blessing – one of the special needs camps that her sister attends.  Graduation wasn’t until Thursday.  So she’s missed the last few days of school for training and came back to graduate, went back for 1 day of training and will drive back home for her graduation party tomorrow, after which she will go back to camp for the next 5 weeks.  And camp is 3 hours away.  I’m praying for a drop in gas prices by the end of the week.

 

What’s Keeping Me Distracted

 

On a recommendation Chuck and I started watching the tv show New Amsterdam because (spoiler alert) the main character has the same cancer my husband beat.  There are many good story lines, but many I don’t appreciate and it’s pretty sad.  We also watched the documentary series Waco:  American Apocalypse on Netflix.  The Branch Davidians fascinate me all these years later since I lived about 15 minutes away from their compound and worked with one of David Koresh’s wives.  And on a night we needed a good laugh, Leanne Morgan‘s Netflix special had me howling in a way that would embarrass me with anyone other than my husband.

 

On audio I listened to Beth Moore’s book All My Knotted-Up Life:  A Memoir, Out of the Dark:  My Journey Through the Shadows to Find God’s Joy by Mandisa and Funny How Life Works by comedian Michael Jr.  And I would recommend them in that order.  I actually read on paper The Baxters by Karen Kingsbury.  I used to read all of her books, but now only keep up with this particular fictional family.

 

And now I’ll sign off and finish up preparations for the graduate’s blow out tomorrow.  I love you, I thank you and I hope June treats you well!

 

And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

 

Stephanie Carter’s post on difficulty in prayer is real, transparent and helpful for anyone who has had similar struggles.  We do battle in prayer – and sometimes it’s with ourselves!  Thanks, Stephanie.

 

The Link Up

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

 Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

 

If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

Rest (My Word of the Year) is Hard!

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word of the yearWhere do I start?  Can you relate to rest being hard???   Maybe the word “rest” conjures up images of lounging in a recliner or laying out by the pool.  But if you are anything like me, rest = struggle.  Hence rest picked me as my word for the year.  

 

Here’s how that word continues to change me:

 

Since my daughter Shelby has aged out of the public school system, she now attends a dayhab program.  This leaves me with 2.5 less productive hours in my day.  Her new program has shorter hours and I drive her to and from (she had a bus pick her up in our driveway before).  Minus 2.5 productive hours I have still been attempting to get all of the same things accomplished.  As you can well imagine, it’s not going well.

 

I work a part time job, teach 2 yoga classes and manage our household.  You know, pay the bills, do the laundry and ironing, plan and cook meals, attend to a teenage daughter and do all the shopping.  In addition to those duties, I manage Shelby.  My severely disabled child requires many doctor visits, case manager check-ins, constant supervision, complete care and more paperwork than you could possibly imagine.  And after all of that, I try to write.  When do I rest?

 

This blog and the writing I do are very important to me.  I consider it a big piece of my ministry and spend countless hours and a little chunk of money on it every year.  It birthed in me the dream of writing a book one day.  But this thing that gives me a sense of purpose and joy has become a stressor.  Once I complete the nonnegotiable items every day, there is little to no time left for this.  And it weighs on me.

 

Word of the Year Decisions

 

I considered whether or not I should quit.  Or take an extended break from blogging.  To be real with you, I wondered if my writing even makes any difference.  I brainstormed with my husband on whether my time would be better spent volunteering more at church or a pregnancy center.  Or if I should find additional work to help with the mountain of expenses coming when our 17 year old goes off to college next year.  This last one just isn’t very feasible with the 9:30-2:30 schedule I have available between dayhab drop off and pick up.  Working from home would be ideal if I knew of any reputable opportunities (hit me up if you do).

 

I took a hard look at my priorities and decided that getting a good workout 5 days a week and quality time with God every day ranked higher with me than getting to write every day.  And my Allie Rose is heading into her senior year of high school.  The way I choose to spend my time feels more important than ever in light of this.  I want to be completely present for every single moment.  Missing a concert, play or a plain old Tuesday with her is not an option.  I already told her that I won’t say “no” to anything she asks me to do this next year.  And I want to stand by that.

 

So, I made the decision to keep writing, but cut back.  This choice came with many tears.  I had to admit that the things I’ve been doing to grow my readership (which is necessary for a book contract) aren’t working and I’m spinning my wheels.  Someone wiser than me once said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.  I’m no closer to getting a publisher’s attention than when I started.  And I’m sitting with that, leaving myself open to the possibility that it’s not the right time or that God may hold something different for me.  So some of that hustle has to go.

 

All this to say that I’m cutting back to one post a week (on Fridays so I can continue to host the Grace and Truth Link Up).  I’ll also no longer be participating in most of the other blog link ups I’ve religiously kept up with.  I actually quit those a couple of weeks ago and I already miss the engagement of my fellow writers.  Most non-writers don’t comment.  But that’s a sacrifice I must make.

 

Praying God’s Word Wednesday won’t go away completely.  It will morph into a once a month post on Friday because so many of you are faithful to pray scripture with me and I love it.  It may need a different name, though.  Comment below with any ideas.

 

I hope we will still see each other every Friday.  I believe God placed this endeavor on my heart for a reason.  But I also know that this season must be about taking care of my family, my relationship with God and myself first.  And then maybe after all that I’ll have time to rest.  It is my word of the year after all.

 

And now for this week’s featured post from the link up.

 

I couldn’t resist Michele Morin’s post this week on…rest.  Yep.  Check out Finding Rest and Being Satisfied in the Land of See and Trust.

 

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

To find some great places where I might be sharing the story of the espadrille with no will to live, click here.

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