Last year, for the first time ever, I chose a word focus for the year. Several things in my life felt out of control and my anxiety was at an all time time. I chose the word “trust”. Or maybe it chose me. I knew I needed to learn to more functionally trust the God of the Universe with my stuff.
I chose 7 Bible verses on trust (one for each day of the week) to focus on and memorize. Much prayer followed. I read books on trust. Praise music on the greatness of God blasted from my speakers. Everything I faced in 2021 brought me into deeper relationship with God. I learned to feel my feelings instead of escape from them. For this I am grateful.
Did I Trust?
I wish I could say that my anxiety disappeared, but that would be a bald faced lie. I wish I didn’t have to admit that – if anything – it escalated. Some of the situations I struggled to place in God’s hands got worse. And at the end of the year, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. This is life in a broken world – even when you walk it with a good, good Father. (I’m typing this from the surgery waiting room as I wait for my husband.)
My continued fear and anxiety have much more to do with me being a fallen human than they do with with the delivering power of my God. Of this I am VERY aware. And yet I know I have gained much from this focus for prayer and study. So I definitely wanted to choose a word again this year. I wrestled for several weeks with whether I should use TRUST again! I didn’t learn my lesson after all. But is that really the takeaway from this kind of practice?
I started reading a book I was supposed to read months ago as a part of an unofficial launch team. Oops. Or was it? God used Rest Girl: A Journey from Exhausted and Stressed to Entirely Blessed by Jami Amerine to bring me my new word. REST. What could possibly be a better expression of trust than resting in His care? They go hand in hand. And isn’t God kind to continue to teach me to rely on him without me having to repeat a grade?
After more study and prayer, I chose Matthew 11:29 as my guiding verse for the year: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” And God is guiding me to additional verses for meditation and memorization. (Exodus 14:14, 1 Thessalonians 5:24 and Exodus 33:14 so far).
As I continue to pray and meditate on scripture and work through Jami Amerine’s book, I’m excited for the year ahead. Through every challenge I know God holds me and my family close. He is so faithful.
What About You?
I would love to continue this conversation. If you chose a word for the year, leave it in the comments below (and if it’s not too personal, tell us why you chose it). If not, give me a favorite verse on the subject of resting in God. And I would love your prayers as I learn to give it all to the only one big enough to hold it.
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