trusting God

  • Elbow Surgery and My One Word

    ByLauren Christian, Grace & Truth Link Up, rest, trusting God
    28 Comments

    elbow surgeryI’ve been focusing on the word “rest” this year.  God has revealed so much to me about this word.  So much that I did not anticipate when I chose (or He lead me to) this emphasis.  I prayed and meditated on the word “trust” last year.  My trust in God and His care for me and mine needed to grow.  I allowed a couple of things at the end of 2021 to bring my anxiety to a ridiculous high.  It was as if I stood on the edge of an active volcano waiting to be swallowed up.  I’m getting to my elbow surgery, but I hope you will indulge me in a little more background first.

     

    Should I choose the word “trust” again in 2022?  I knew I wasn’t trusting Him with my life details.  Did I learn anything last year?  And then it came to me.  “Rest” as in “rest in the Lord”.  Another version of “trust”, if you will.  So I settled down with my Faithful Life Planner and my word to get to work.

     

    I looked up verses on trusting and resting in the Lord.  I prayed them and meditated some more.  And then I stumbled upon (I don’t really believe it was by accident) a couple of bloggers who were posting about different ways to interact with this chosen word for the year.  And these exercises blew my mind (like a volcano, if you will).

     

    At some point I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”  Proverbs 19:21 NIV  I knew I needed to pull in close to our all-powerful God and learn to trust Him more.  But He opened up a whole mess of other ways He wanted me to learn to rest.

     

    I get enough sleep – most of the time.  But I don’t sabbath well and I am not ok with being unproductive.  And the Holy Spirit whispers, “It is good to have set aside moments that you don’t produce, Lauren.”  He called me by name, there.  It’s getting very personal and quite serious.

     

    And Now – the Elbow Surgery

     

    On May 18th I underwent surgery for tennis elbow.  Never having played a single game of tennis, I nevertheless had frayed tendons.  This outpatient procedure came early (5:30 am early) and wrapped up quickly.  With anesthesia and pain meds in my system, I gave myself permission to take it easy for the day.  (Even typing that sentence is preposterous, but sadly true.)  I watched TV and slept in the recliner.  Nothing physically strenuous and nothing to even tax the mind.  What a good patient!

     

    The day after surgery I stayed on my pain meds, but decided that computer work was restful enough.  And I had time before getting cleaned up and dressed up to go to my daughter’s voice recital – the day after surgery.  Day 2 stunk.  With limited range of motion in my elbow and the wrist brace to restrict movement there I had a terrible time typing.  I tried multiple positions and propped with various pillows before saying words that I won’t subject you to.

     

    I tried to answer texts and e-mails on my phone but kept dropping it due to the unforgiving nature of the wrist brace.  Well I eventually resorted to the accessibility features on both my computer and phone so that I could talk-to-text.  The silicone valley wizards improved this technology greatly since its inception, but it still struggled to understand my Texas twang.  Which I do understand is excessive.

     

    By the time I got the hang of talk-to-text, I was frustrated and exhausted.  And do you remember me saying I was still on heavy duty pain meds.  I tried to write, sleepy and fuzzy with strained capabilities.  In several hours I accomplished remarkably little.  Resting would have been a much better use of my time.  I wish I had let myself relax for a second day.

     

    So here we are half way through the year, and it doesn’t appear that I’ve learned much.  But life is more than a snap shot.  God shows me more every day, but in my sin nature I sometimes fall back into old habits.  I’m so thankful for grace, mercy, second and 49th chances.

    The Link Up

     

    Who to feature is always a hard choice for me, but Linda Stoll’s Doing the Blogging Life was so unique.  I confess I didn’t have time to answer her questions or read the responses, but I’m going back!  If you are a blogger and you haven’t weighed in yet, make sure you do.  Thanks for starting the discussion, Linda.

    1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

    2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

    3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

    Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

    We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

    MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    LAUREN SPARKS
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    Now Let’s Link Up!

    You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

    Click here to enter

    If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

     

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  • Graduation and Complex Feelings

    ByLauren Christian, community, Grace & Truth Link Up, joy, lament, special needs, trusting God
    34 Comments

    graduationNationaltoday.com says today is Repeat Day.  I feel that.  We attended a graduation ceremony last week for our daughter Shelby.  She graduated from high school at 17.  But now at 21 she is graduating from the same school’s transition program.  We are so grateful for the extra years our state allows special education students to stay before moving on to the adult world.

     

    I have lots of feelings, as I did when writing about her first graduation here, here, here and here.  And I have shed buckets of tears over those feelings.  It’s complicated.  Usually when a graduation happens, bigger and better things await.  But I would keep Shelby right where she is forever if I could.  I am thankful for the adult dayhab that she will attend from now on.  It will give her some socialization and a break from the boredom that is hanging out at home.  But it’s not the same.  And that, along with tougher medical care – and someday a small group home – are what is available to her for the rest of her life.

     

    Graduation Goodies

     

    But let’s break from the doom and gloom to talk about the sweet, special moments from her graduation.  She was so excited to be celebrated.  There were balloons, cupcakes and other decorations.  Her teacher spoke of Shelby’s sweet disposition, her stubborn streak and how she’s grown.  She called her a ray of sunshine.  And she is.

     

    One of her former aides asked off work to come see her.  And the aide who works with her now stuck to her side.  Teachers and paraprofessionals from her elementary, middle school and both high schools have cared for her and loved her so well.  And I might as well include nurses, bus drivers, diagnosticians and transition specialists too!  My husband’s observation was that she is known – really known by this community.  And that’s hard to leave behind.  She’s so fortunate to have had this experience with school.

     

    Shelby’s Best Buddy Delaney came to the ceremony.  And invited us all to her graduation party.  She has taken Shelby to Homecoming and a friendship ball.  A halloween party and an Easter egg hunt.  Ice cream and soda dates filled the in between.  Shelby loves to be with same age peers.  And I don’t know how many other high school seniors would spend their time like this.

     

    Lastly, we met Shelby’s boyfriend at graduation.  We didn’t know that she had one.  I don’t think she knows either.  But this young man thinks my daughter is beautiful.  He told us that she hugs him and they walk holding hands.  I was so grateful for his tender affection for her and for the comic relief.  I really needed it.

     

    Graduation Education

     

    So the day was both sweet and hard.  My point in telling you all this is to make sure you know that we can hold both things.  We can be joyful and still grieve.  I can laugh in the midst of pain.  We can be grateful for the experience and still think it sucks that it’s over. 

    Our emotions don’t have to fit in one nice, neat box.  God made all these emotions and none of them are bad.  He handles messier things than this.

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    And even when there is tension between our desires and our realities, we can be confident in God’s sovereignty and His love for us.

     

    And now if you don’t mind, I’m going to follow the instructions in Matthew 6:6 from the Message.

     

    “Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.”

     

    And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

    Linda from beingwoven.org used scripture beautifully to express the frustration and inner turmoil we often feel about the hard things in the world.  I so appreciate her vulnerability and her prayer of obedience in I Have Very Few Words…Today.

     

    1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

    2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

    3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

    Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

    We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

    MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    LAUREN SPARKS
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
    Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

    Now Let’s Link Up!

     

    You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

    Click here to enter

    Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

     

    To find some great places where I might be sharing this post, click here.