Lauren Sparks

The Sparks Notes

Your 2020 Holiday Gathering Doesn’t Have to Be a Whoopin’ (That’s Texan for Drag)

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Raise your hand if you used Zoom for a family or friend gathering this year.  Yeah, me too.  I’m super thankful for this technology in 2020 – I’m even teaching yoga classes this way.  But after the initial excitement of “being together” and catching up a bit comes the awkward silence.  Please tell me it’s not just MY family that searches for something else to say.  We miss each other and don’t want to “end session” yet, but what else can we talk about?

 

Maybe due to safety concerns and travel restrictions you are staring down a Christmas “celebration” with the same few people you holed up with for months.   You haven’t gone anywhere or done anything significant, so you wonder what you can talk about!  How can you keep from vegging out in front of the TV (although Christmas movies are a delight ) and staring at your phones for the entirety of the break?  I found exactly what will make 2020 gatherings, whether live or online, more fun and more meaningful.

 

I asked my fellow blogger and author Sue Donaldson where she got the idea to write conversation starters.  Here is her response:

I created them because I’ve found that when we meet together it can be a waste of time if we don’t get to really know each other. It began when I invited believers and non-believers together at the same table. I ask a general question, and follow with a little bit deeper one.  Then we go around the room, each person answering the questions. We end up connecting–laughing or crying or both– as we find commonalities in our stories. We become more empathic as we hear how someone has struggled or is in the midst of struggle. Asking the right question brings understanding which leads to compassion. 

When my husband and I first married, we invited two of Mark’s colleagues and their wives for dinner. I was the insecure, younger Dr’s wife. But I asked the men to answer: “Why did you choose medicine?” and the women, “Why did you say ‘yes’ to your husband’s proposal?”.  The evening went swimmingly. Nowadays, I pray in advance of my event and ask God for the right questions for the particular group. One such evening was so incredibly meaningful as the women answered the two questions: “What did you want to be when you were little when you grew up?” (gales of laughter) and “Who are you becoming right now?” (some tears, tons of compassion – as two were divorcing and didn’t’ know who they were anymore).  This was, again, a mixed group with women on both sides of the Gospel. One such gal said afterwards, “This was so good” (I had just met her at the gym) and I replied, “I’ve found that women are lonely.” And she said, “I’m lonely.”   We now walk every week together. God uses such times as friendships are built, and community deepened. 
This Thanksgiving, we did it a little differently.  My brother Steve has my Convo starters (the digital one – which is nice because it’s easy to make copies of the pages and cut into strips)- he copied three questions and stapled them together and passed them around to their guests. They had a choice to answer just one of three. I decided to try it out and had my middle daughter pick two questions on strips of paper and staple them together and each guest pick a “set” to answer.    We went around the circle between turkey and pie and heard some great stories and got to know one another better. We are still talking about what we heard! Convo starters empower the shy person and they keep the talkative person on track!
The purpose of community is to grow our faith, as well as introduce God to the unbeliever. Convo starters enable both.

 

Conversation starters aren’t a new thing, but this one feels fresh.  The author mixes fun topics with questions that encourage storytelling and sharing.  Whether you order Say Something Special (available in digital form if you need it sooner than Amazon can deliver) or come up with your own, don’t just “hope” for a fun and meaningful celebration.  Plan for it!

 

And now for this week’s featured post.

 

I love Sarah Geringer’s Advent series.  This week she linked An Advent Mindset:  How Zechariah’s Shift in Thinking Will Inspire You, but I recommend you go back and read last week’s too and subscribe to Sarah’s blog to make sure you get the rest!

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