You Know What They Say About Making Assumptions…and Grace and Truth Link Up
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
but only in expressing his opinion. Proverbs 18:2 ESV
When you see someone’s teeth chattering, do you draw the conclusion that he is cold? That’s what the nurses thought as they wheeled me into surgery for the first time at twelve years of age. They piled warm blankets on me – one after another – until my mama astutely said, “she’s scared.” Leave it to a mother to know.
Many moons ago, heavy with our first child; (I do mean heavy. I gained enough weight to give birth to a fifth grader.) I shivered uncontrollably whenever my husband argued over the phone with our first wife about their son. No, I never married her. I say “our” first wife because we have always been in this thing together. Those heated discussions caused me so much anxiety that I shook like I had a fever.
The first several days after my daughter broke her leg this spring, when she changed positions her molars knocked together at an alarming rate. The cause – pain. Fear, anxiety, pain. Add cold temperatures and fevers, and we have at least five completely different causes for the same action. Yet we tend to make assumptions about chattering teeth – among other things.
My teenage daughter and I are pretty different. I think I mentioned this before. Like here and here and here and…you get the idea. We butt heads occasionally (ok, that’s a mild understatement) as I try to “get” her. For example, I possess an inability to procrastinate. If I know I need to get something done, I must tackle it immediately and put it to rest. Anything else causes me anxiety. My girl is a major procrastinator – even with regards to things she supposedly enjoys. She scrolls on her phone and listens to music or plays her ukulele until she is sitting on top of a deadline. Practicing a sport, finishing homework, perfecting her choir music – it all gets pushed down the road until she can’t push it any longer. This drives me bonkers!
Through the years I have complained and moaned to my husband about our lazy, unmotivated child. Mind you, this kid makes straight A’s and aces advanced classes, excels in choir and takes leadership roles in both church and extracurriculars. But because she procrastinates, I think she’s lazy! Until the coronavirus lockdown.
Self-isolation allowed me to spend a lot more time with my girls. Some good times. Some challenging times. And its taught me something about the youngest. The earlier she tackles a project, the more time she has to think about it, second guess it and doubt herself. Anxiety, not sloth drives her to wait. The more I push her to work on something, the higher her anxiety climbs. As I watched her begrudgingly handle online schooling, I see that she gets to things in her own timing. And typically does a good job.
Being johnny-on-the-spot keeps my anxiety in check. Moving too quickly on something causes hers. So I am learning to keep my timelines to myself – even if I have to bite my nails to do it. And it is making a big the difference in our relationship and my frustration. All because I understand her a little better.
You know what they say about making assumptions! Do you have any you need to challenge today?
And now for this week’s featured post!
With a bored 15 year old daughter at home this summer, I took personal interest in 10 Books Every Christian Teen Girl Should Read in Summer 2020 by Joyce Cortes Mackenrath of unshakeablejoy.com. Saying a prayer that one of these will help tear my girl away from her phone!
Now for this week’s link-up! Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord.
Grace & Truth exists to point people to Jesus! We hope this link-up will be a source of encouragement every week. If you’re a blogger, we hope you’ll use this space as a way to meet new friends within the Christian blogging community. If you’re a reader, we hope that you’ll encounter new bloggers that love Jesus as much as you do! Most of all, we hope you’ll meet Jesus here.
Join us each Friday for the Grace and Truth Link-Up!
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Heather Hart & Valerie Riese
Maree Dee
Lauren Sparks
Lisa Burgess
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Hi. My name is Lauren, and I’m a middle aged, middle class, white woman. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, an expert on black history, race relations or reconciliation. What I am is heartbroken over the injustices I see much more clearly now than I ever have before. What I am is determined to learn and do better. So for what it’s worth, I wanted to share a few resources with you that have taught me, moved me and spurred me to action these last few weeks.
