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  • What a Dead Dog, the Good Samaritan and Voicemail Have in Common

    ByLauren book review, Christian, community, Jesus
    42 Comments
    Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

    At the tender driving age of 16, I ran over a dog.  The whole story embarrasses me, but we are friends.  So here goes.  I was driving a Ford Tempo that I shared with my twin sister on a very dark farm-to-market road…with two kids I babysat for in the backseat…when I practically went airborne.  This dog was massive.  If I had not seen him with my own eyes, I would have sworn he was a small horse.  It still flabbergasts me that the little car survived unscathed.

     

    I was crestfallen to think I had hurt and probably killed him.  But it was not safe to stop the car there with no streetlights around and two children to take care of.  So I continued on to my destination with my heart pounding up near my esophagus.  I returned home a bit later on the same country road.  Remembering about where I had struck the poor animal, I pulled way over to the opposite side of the road and drove on the shoulder to make sure I missed him.  And then I plowed over a surprise bump.  It was so very dark, but I immediately knew that the dog had dragged himself to the other side of the road and laid down.  And I ran over him again.  I sought to show him mercy by keeping to the other side of the road and ended up hurting him worse.  As I retell it I still feel all of the disbelief and shame I did that night.

     

    My pastor’s reading of the Good Samaritan story on Sunday sparked this memory.  From Luke 10 Jesus tells a parable of a man going down a road who was robbed and beaten and left half-dead.  A priest and a priest’s assistant both came by, saw him and moved over to the other side of the street to avoid him.  In so doing, just like I did all those years ago, they did him additional harm.  The Samaritan man came along next, and even though he had places he needed to be, he dressed the man’s wounds and took him to an inn.  Having other business to attend to, he paid someone else to nurse this stranger back to health.

     

    It’s messy and inconvenient to be a friend, isn’t it?

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    Hearing the familiar story this time made me think about how many different ways we have now to “walk on the other side of the road”.  When we don’t feel like getting involved, we can hide someone on social media.  We can avoid them at church or the office.  We can close our garage door when our neighbors are outside.  When we think we don’t have the time we can let the phone go to voicemail or choose not to respond to a text.

     

    I listened to Bob Goff interviewed on a podcast recently, and he challenged me on this very issue.  (If you haven’t heard him tell a story or read one of his books, I would beg you to do so immediately.  Love Does and Everybody Always just might change the way you view how you should interact with the world.)  Bob’s message is always and forever to love people.  And in this interview he said, “The best way to show someone they have worth is to be available.”  For this to be true, the opposite is true as well.  If you want to send a message that someone is inconsequential (whether you intend to or not), ignore the text, decline the invitation, take days to return the voice mail, “walk on the other side of the street”.

     

    “Beloved children, our love can’t be an abstract theory we only talk about but a way of life demonstrated through our loving deeds.”  1 John 3:18 The Passion Translation

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  • Becoming a Better Friend

    ByLauren book review, Christian, community
    39 Comments
    Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

    Friends are my favorite.  Really.  I’ve written about friendship several times before.  My favorite TV show is Friends, I’m currently reading a book about the show “Friends” (I’ll Be There For You:  The One About Friends), my most-loved childhood cartoon is The Fox and the Hound, and nothing fills my oversized coffee mug like time with friends.

     

    I’m in a season of life in which I no longer take time with friends for granted.  I seek it out like water in the desert and treasure it when found.  When offered the opportunity to read and review Becoming Gertrude:  How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, I jumped at the chance.  The subtitle spoke to a seeking part of my soul.  But I was initially disappointed, feeling like this little book misrepresented itself.  I got all the way to the end, closed the cover and thought, “That book wasn’t about friendship at all!  It’s about service!  Oh.” 

    A light bulb went off. Maybe that’s the point.

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    The author, Janice Peterson, teaches that “you can’t separate caring from service in spiritual friendship”.  It takes time and creativity to be a good friend, but so much growth comes from it.  She says, in fact, that when this kind of hospitality is done well, “you experience something profound.  Something like the Jewish word shalom – a sense of wholeness.”  I was reminded that giving myself away doesn’t have to be a big thing – just an intentional one.  And it requires slowing down.  “Giving people space and a listening ear and heart are often rare in today’s world.  And people are hungry for it, whether they’re aware of it or not.”

     

    I confess I’ve been so concerned with what I’ve missed receiving from time with friends that I haven’t really thought about what I’m not giving.  Selfishness works that way, I guess.  When I opened my eyes to those around me I found someone dealing with chronic pain who is weary.  But after spending some time with her, I learned she is also a hoot!  And I saw a church member with no one to drive her home from major surgery and discovered a strong and faithful warrior who encourages me to be better.   When I volunteered to help some friends with a big project – well, I just helped.  Not every act of faithfulness gives immediate warm fuzzies.  But…

     

    Maybe…just maybe… friendship and service share a lot in common after all.

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