marriage

  • A Letter to My Parents on Their 50th Wedding Anniversary

    ByLauren Christian, faithfulness, family, love, marriage, mothers
    45 Comments

    “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 NIV

     

    Dear Mama and Papa,

     

    50 years is quite a legacy. When I saw the scripture verse above, it reminded me of you. I won’t overly romanticize your relationship just because it’s lasted this long. I know that neither of you is COMPLETELY humble, gentle or patient 100% of the time. We are a fully human, fallible family. But as great as I do think you both are, I know it takes lots of “bearing with one another in love” to make it to a 50th anniversary. If the world took that commandment more seriously, many, many more marriages would go the distance.

     

    Until I sat down to write this letter, I hadn’t fully grasped of the generational example we are privileged to have. Not one known divorce in my direct line as far as we can trace. How rare and wonderful! I cherish the love stories of you and my grandparents. I still get giddy when I’m lucky enough to hear them. That you grew up together and were always friends makes your two lives joined as one that much sweeter. And what a gift that I witnessed your love and marriage first hand!

     

    Papa, your single-minded devotion to my mom taught me what to expect from a man. You may have lost your cool with her occasionally, but your anger never lasted more than a few minutes. I watched you date her and show her affection and prefer her company to any others. You exemplified the Proverbs’ directive to “rejoice in the wife of your youth.”(5:18) I made a lot of mistakes as I searched for my mate, but because of you, I knew the kind of man I wanted to marry. I held out for someone who would treat me like you treat Mama. And he loves me well. Thank you.

     

    Mama, you have a servant’s heart. To know you is to be blessed by you. And you serve your husband devotedly. For years you have cooked his meals, mended his clothes and kept a fine house for him. You have chored and worked side by side. But even more important than how you have served is the way you respect him. You believed in him and championed him even when others didn’t. And you prayed. Oh, how you faithfully prayed for your husband and your children. I am not quite the cook and homemaker you are (you learned from the best), but I’m following your example (and asking for your advice) whenever I can – and praying for a similar outcome.

     

    You both put God first, and each other second. And that is why we are all here to celebrate such a momentous milestone. I love you.

     

    Happy Anniversary!

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  • She Loves

    ByLauren book review, Christian, love, marriage
    41 Comments
    Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

    With Valentine’s Day around the bend, my mind went down a love rabbit hole today.  When my sweetie and I got married, 20 years ago now, his ex-wife gave us a copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Kinda thoughtful/ kinda awkward/ a little weird.  I can really go any way on it, but I knew it was a good book.  I read it and self-diagnosed my love language as “Receiving Gifts”.  If you haven’t read the book, this means I feel most loved when I’m getting presents.  As a Christian, I always felt a little awkward about this.  It sounds selfish right?  “It is more blessed to give than to receive”, right?  But in this instance (and maybe only this one), Kanye said it best.  “I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger.”  Or something along those lines that I’m not cool enough to pull off.  For me, it was really the idea that someone thought about me when I wasn’t even with them that made me feel special.  The gift could be nothing more extravagant than a card or my favorite candy bar.

     

    I explained the 5 different languages to my husband and he immediately assumed that the way he feels most loved is through physical touch.  I’m not sure that’s true.  Most guys probably think their love language is physical touch – if you know what I mean.  But this category is a lot more about non-sexual touch than it is sexual.  I decided to look this book up online today (I no longer have it) because I started to feel like my initial assessment of myself had changed.  And did you know there is now a quiz you can take?  Check it out at 5lovelanguages.com.  Sure enough, the test showed I most appreciate “Words of Affirmation” with “Receiving Gifts” a close second.  So basically I am a walking, breathing example of those t-shirts that say, “Buy me something nice and tell me I’m pretty.”  Good grief.  But in all seriousness, I do think it is interesting to learn more about how we receive love messages and I think I’m going to get my husband to take the quiz.

     

    The Five Love Languages book made me think of the Sandi Patty song, “Love in Any Language”.  If you are unfamiliar with it, here are the lyrics to the chorus:

    Love in any language

    Straight from the heart

    Pulls us all together

    Never apart

    And once we learn to speak it

    All the world will hear

    Love in any language

    Fluently spoken here

     

    That’s a message the world needs to hear right now.  At which point my mind made a right turn to the words of Priscilla Shirer I read this morning in her book Awaken:  90 Days with the God Who Speaks.  “Pray that He would make you sensitive enough, discerning enough, and interested in other people enough to sense when He is moving you into position to be a caring solution to their needs.”  That sounds like love to me.

     

    When all is said and all is done, I hope that what I said was Love.  And what I did was Love.  

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    Heavenly Father, I know I get it wrong so much of the time, but mold me and refine me so that the first thing others see in my actions is Your Love; and the first thing others hear from my lips is Your Love.  If I never accomplish anything else, may it be said of me, “She loves.”  Amen.  

     

    At the end of the rabbit hole, I want to wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day!